Girl, I've alway had holes in my hands

When you came running
I wasn't there

It's funny how you're all the same
The world over

That same face, when something happens to your children
Just like when we were kids

You stopped waiting for me
Saw thru me

The world has taken my power
A power I know I never had

Girl, I've alway had holes in my hands

And still I want to catch you

God calls me home
I can’t wait to go
It’s a new chapter for us
And I’ve got myself a ticket

It will be that summer I was singing about
And we’ll all be around
From where I’m looking
The Earth will be upside down

People round here look vicious
I think it’s the spin
I get tougher
So do they

My mind circles like grey clouds
Fills my pen with that ink
And I stencil the page
Like cracks in the pavement

God calls me home
I can’t wait to go
It’s a new chapter for us
And I’ve got myself a ticket

It will be that summer I was singing about
And we’ll all be around
From where I’m looking
The Earth will be upside down

Like an Opera singer
Behind closed doors
All velvet imagination
I’ll shine this blade, made for salvation

I don’t know how people do it sometimes
But I will and I do
Just like the call coming thru

God calls me home
I can’t wait to go
It’s a new chapter for us
And I’ve got myself a ticket

It will be that summer I was singing about
And we’ll all be around
From where I’m looking
The Earth will be upside down

Labour and Nature
Always at odds
For a time
Everything out of my hands drops

Sparks, friction
And science fiction
Your masterpiece
Can wait

But really
It's this theory
I'd be the first to **** the beast in a long line
Now's my time
I'm disappearing into the woods for a while

I was sitting in my room in the temple,
I was procrastinating
In a spiritual way
Hesse would understand

The world came to my door
The sound of footsteps made me want get back into bed
But I walked outside
Faced the world
Said hello
And started my day

The half-rotting houses
Are filled with people
Some you want to meet
Some you want to love

You see her walking along the street
Dressed in black
A mystery you want to meet
You too are dressed in black
And wonder what she sees
Waiting for the bus
The bus that could set you free
There are conversations without speaking
But they fall to easily to the street
To join the chorus of car engines and cold weather

And then she’s standing right beside you at the bar on friday
In a striped vintage suit
You ask her name and she stays
She’s pretty and brave
Is that the rattling of chains?
Maybe it is
Because you thought about here while you were away
What you would say
And then she defeats you with a smile
Have a good night she says

You try so hard for an aerial view
But your eyes are now tried and true
Then you see her at the crossing
Dressed in black with a winter hat
And you’re walking beside her now
She’s watching your gait
You keep a straight face
She has no time to waste
She doesn’t seem to mind you
As you speak your voice competes with the street
She points to where you were going
And where she is going
Across the street
To set your gaze
Showing you where to look
The pastry shop brightly illuminated

She defeats you with a smile
That touches your mind
It's you pulling at the end of a long line

The half rotting houses
Are filled with people
Some you want to meet
And some you want to love

I had in mind
That when we were together
Re-united
That it would be a certain way
The pictures
Touch and feel
And when we were
It simply wasn't

I was who I was now
As real as dream
And I couldn't discount
My eyes came into focus

The only way was forward
New love to make
New dreams to chase
Grow and change

I'm not the same as I was yesterday
She has nothing to say to me
I'm a million miles away
Here now and today

You can call me dream
You can call me reality
I've got two hands and two feet
And a heart that beats

The only way was forward
New love to make
New dreams to chase
Grow and change

I ran up Friday hill in the early morning
In the faith that it would do me good
Like I'd discovered a lifetime ago

I had a dream
It was of my mother
And I remembered the sadness in my heart
I was running to find it

All us heartbroken people
We kept each other company
For a time
Like a short film
We wrapped over ourselves

But how can I heal the world, if not myself
Make it happy, if I'm not

I was running to find it

How timid and elusive it is in this world
How quiet
Unheard, yet underestimated

My heart

I was running to find it
My sad heart
The happiest too
Running in the morning
Mourning no longer
Smiling like sunrise

We are shallow without her
We are shallow without her secret
That's all I know

We heard what he did to you
How he took you away from us
Your father's words were law at his trial
We pray for you and your family
Our blood is warm on this cold earth for you

I'll never forget those words
"What shoes will I have to wear in case I have to run"

We are shallow without her
We are shallow without her secret
May it forever be safe, and safer still
Our blood is warm on this cold earth for you

Hey sister
You’ve been shouting
And I can just hear you
Now

I’m looking for your brother
Have you seen him around?
He wouldn’t let this go down

Hey sister
You’ve been shouting
And I can just hear you
Now

Setting out

We met by the fireplace
I said I played guitar
So I went round for a jam

If all we did
was live and breath
It would be ok
But then there are dreams
And things we are good at
And that's where the trouble starts

Of asking what do you mean
And you must know!

How do you make something from nothing?
How do you make something work?

A new song?

I've run out of places to run
But the world is large
But it isn't the world I've come to see
It's me
Here's one for positivity though
You don't have to run
You can walk slow
I'm not going anywhere

How do you make something from nothing?
How do you make something work?

I'm sure you'll be there
When you need to be
You'll step up when it's time
Exactly when or how
I couldn't be sure
But take it easy
You've got this far

A new reassurance
One from the treasure chest
I heard an angel say, trust the timing of your life

How do you make something from nothing?
How do you make something work?

I’m at a party,  I have a party hat on and a sparkler in my hand, popping and bright
And everyone is deliberately not making eye contact with me

How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?

It’s the moment he realises his *** is not a weapon
He can feel it
It’s something to do with ****, again

Into it, is the humanity he understands
Some men reach it early, some never
Here’s a toast to manhood and its many forms

(p.s., ok here's a bit more:-
  I think it's to do with usefulness.
    Make yourself useful in this world)

I'm no one to talk about stability
I'm a ****** too
But what if I saw just one thing thru?

To leave it be
To respect it

To not quarter each limb

Some kind of veneration

Could I even do that?
Me?

How Wild?

Dear Teresa,

With the luscious thighs
Big eyes
And gap toothed Madonna smile

I've started praying again

I'm in a new room
I can't see the walls or ceiling
But it's bigger
I got a new key cut

Like I said I've started praying again
Not like in boys school
Full of cabinets you don't want to open
But something deeper

I pray for less stress
More peace
Happiness

I feel the sides of the ship
Turning
With my hand and elbow


How wild are these hearts?
What science are they made of?
Is this a start to ending the wars on Earth?

I pray for less stress
More peace
Happiness

Maybe I'm naive
Living within the means given me
A boy ******* his mother's ****
But we're all awake aren't we?
And I know I have a strength untapped


I pray for less stress
More peace
Happiness

Teresa came into the coffee shop
With a baby and the same smile
Still wild

The old man
Who destroyed his bed
Shat in it
As if that is what it was meant for

Wasn’t invited to my sisters wedding
He was missing
I’ve been here two weeks
And I’ve avoided contact

I remember the lady with the red hair
And the kids I’d never like
How she held my awesome tennis racket to the ground
   I couldn’t say “You’re going to scratch it!”

I remember he’d be on the phone to her
Sometimes in the toilet
Us kids were just in the rumpus room
As if that is what it was meant for

But I do remember the older boy
With long brown hair
He had CD’s downstairs and he burnt some for me to listen to
   “Rock and roll breeds anarchy” the old man said
       It was all a bit forced

But I remember when this boy pulled out his guitar
Sang a song
And we were all seated outside
This awkward place to be
And I saw the old mans face
How it went still

I am music
I am like water
I am like time
I am like change

I can't tell another lie
My teeth will fall out

Apologies to anyone who has waited up

But I have to get myself out of this for me

And to all those dreams
I let go


I can't tell another lie

I'm as low as the road
Listening to approaching cars
That don't come
That don't go

Time moves so fast

I can't tell another lie


I'll collect my thoughts
My sounds and ideas
I'll send them out
So that you can hear

I love the buzz

There are so many pictures
I stick to my screen
They cloud my mind with need

I need to get free
To get off on myself

I can't tell another lie

I'm moving slow
Re-charging
In a world moving so fast
Sirens in the distance
The calm sunset over a busy city

I dream of a bloom
I sit in preparation in the gloom
And when I hear no sound
Or my head aches
I'm filled with doom

I dig and dig
For any precious sign
All I can hear is the clink clink of hard
Unforgiving Earth

But wait
A quiet secret
Tiny molecules in a summer song
I feel like making love
Samba notes
A blues

You let me know you're still there
However quiet

I dream of a bloom
I dream of a bloom
Like a string
Attached to a hot air balloon

I'll always have my eye on you
It's true
It'll never be thru
You're that character in my book

I say I miss you
I'm already looking forward
To catching up with you

Is it crazed
Is it cool?
This eye I've got on you

I'm not going to say it
Neither are you
I'll always have my eye on you

Imagine the world loved you back
Imagine that

No scarcity, but generosity

And on that feeling of being trapped, pent-up
Imagine release...

Every child a prophet

I wont last long,  but my prayer will

If I have a son or a daughter, I'll call him or her
Prayer Book

Imagine the world loved you back
Imagine that

You were supported, your interests were looked out for
Your future
Imagine the people in it
Imagine the way we would work
Imagine the end of all wars
Imagine care
Imagine being there

Imagine the world loved you back
Imagine that

Dry your eyes
I'm coming home
Fly your fabric soul
I'm running down the road

All your worry
And the things you can't change
Don't be afraid
I'm coming home

You thought I'd disappeared
But faith wants me here
You thought I didn't care
But I was always there

Tie your hair to the side
I'm coming home
Let Spring arrive
I'm running fast thru the cold

New jealousy, new grace
A new truth and place
Open your heart
I'm coming home

Each day the animal bites
He wants to hold me down tight
But I'm music now
Dancing like a brave kite

Dry your eyes
I'm coming home
Fly your fabric soul
I'm running down the road

Nothing's going to stop me
I'm coming home
I'm coming home

The days of the crying faces
And the songs of tears are over
And I wake alone and lonelier than ever

My bravery is taken away
And I have nothing better to do

I’ve been wondering about for a while now
But it hit me today

Does that pain have a name?
Will I see something similar or the same?

The characters in my play
Know where to stand
And plot is getting cliche’d

But I have to see it one more time

I have to see the way we were so lonely and forgotten

The way we cried together
The way we lived thru it together

We knew the songs, they were so sad
Because they were so real

Because it was painful
Because it was all we had

Because that pain, I do know it’s name
Because that won’t change

I’m here, far away, I’m here today

I'm off to **** a beast
I'm going on my own
I'm not taking my phone, don't wait up
When I'm back
I'll let you know
I'm off to **** a beast

I'm going on an idea
I had from long ago
The feeling has grown and grown
It would make me the first
In a long line
Off I go
I'm off to **** a beast

I'm happy on my own
My light is on for me to see

I'm off to **** a beast
There is rage, rage, rage
Sticks that easily break
And sounds that interrogate
But I have faith
Beasts beware
I'm off to **** a beast

I'm happy on my own
My light is on for me to see

I'm off to **** a beast
I'm going on my own
I'm not taking my phone, don't wait up
When I'm back
I'll let you know
I'm off to **** a beast

My sisters were saying they were getting into canned peaches again
Of all things

I was walking home at night
And there was a poster of a woman aged 37
Went missing in 2018
And an empty can of peaches was on the ground

I thought, how cold the world is
This ******* world
How a person can be nothing more
Than an empty can discarded
Out here, out no-where

I put a prayer on the moon tonight
That I care for something in this world
That I say I'm here and this is mine
And I won't let go

A garden against the nothingness
Care against the careless
Fire against the cold

Is there a song
to right my wrongs
To set todays foot
Strong?

Cos I will be back
Where nothing matters again
I forgot, again
And again

Is there a song
To say that I care?
That I will be there
That I won't disappear
Like the way of things
Like flesh
Holding things too wide and heavy?

Am I wrong to think there is?
What about now?

I give to it the truth of my own freedom
My eternal reach for it

Cos I know I'll be back here
Where we know
Black inside and out
No-one to believe in
Only hard truths
Weak arms
Weak legs

It was Cameron's 40th
He was the nicest guy
Never not smiling
If that guy wasn't love
Love didn't exist

I wanted to check if they were still together
And there they were
She'd posted photos, some going back 20years

Sally was always smiling too
She'd be there after school
Besides Cameron and his car

She had womanly secrets and figure too
But all thoughts you may have had,
She dispelled with her smile
They were unbeatable

I didn't come down on a cloud
Like Sally and Cameron
My egg cracked in stormy a sky
It's yolk tumbling to the mud and rainwater below

Mine has been a fight
Between the dark and light
Maybe for a time
I used to be beautiful

And I cried for that time
But maybe I was blowing it up in my mind

I don't cry for yesterday anymore
I've caught up with myself
You could say

Cameron would be happy to hear from me
I'm sure he is smiling at my birthday message
I'm working my way out
As each and every person has to

Lend me your eyes
So that I can see myself
And when it's me I'm seeing
I'll give them back

I've got the feeling something big is going to happen

I used to be beautiful,
Let's see
After the storm
The rain
And the sun that rolled across the trees in my dreams
Let the dust settle
Where it has to be

I used to be beautiful

I remember magic everywhere
As if the earth were newly cut open

I used to not think twice
But these things you can lose overnight

I used to be brave
But had no idea

There was so much love
But I was just letting go

Spring you mighty thing
I'm down here looking up at you

I want to evaporate into your blue
And rain again
Good as new

My imagination is aging
deteriorating

How I need a mountain view
A sea, salty and blue


I want to be a free spirit


Open the box
See it from the outside

Outer body, outer mind


I want to be a free spirit


I've been here for such a long time
Knowing what's behind

How I need a mountain view
A sea, salty and blue

I want to be a free spirit

I want to do the taboo with you
The city would become a deserted island
If they knew what we were up to
I want to do the taboo with you

Even the gods, Muhammed and Jesus
Bhudda and the powers that be would take a day off work
Because of you and me

Let's wander thru the galaxies
That sing above us with their mathematics
Let's walk on clouds that tempt us with their peace
In our flesh
That moves with bone and blood
Its smells and re-growth
Its dying
Its strength
Its boundaries

I want to do the taboo with you
The city would become a deserted island
If they knew what we were up to
I want to do the taboo with you

I know at some point
We have to stop

Stop in the body
And let our imaginations take flight

Inhabiting eternities
Endlessnesses

But I want to get as close as possible

Desire went walking down the street
Open sandals around bare feet


The chains and bolts snapped and buckled
Ropes tore exploding tiny explosions
The lawmaker looked on keenly
Invoking words of power that stood fixed into the cold stone


Desire moved with a steady intent
Like the sun rising under the sea


I want to kiss you inside of your mind
On this happening of you and I


We all watched, taking into account the circumstance
Thought of the children of tomorrow
The way we came and what it made


Taboo and touch
Gathered invisible words and sounds
Making themselves heard
Desire would come to stay
The bed was already made


I want to kiss you inside of your mind
On this happening of you and I

Legs so short
They don’t touch the ground
Waiting for the bus
And listening to the sound

Of kissing your soul
Star shaped
And soppy wet
As if my heart melt
Yes I felt


These plastic telephones
Bad reception on a good day
And I’m in a major city what the hell

Singin down a tin can, with a string thru a hole

I want to kiss your soul
I want to kiss your soul


How long will it take
And how many lips will I have to kiss to get to you?
What will be the calendar month?
Mark it in for me
I’m here on satellite, way below

Waiting on your call
All illuminated and lonely
If my soul had a colour
What would it be?


Singin down a tin can, with a string thru a hole

I want to kiss your soul
I want to kiss your soul



She kicked that can
It hit me in the head
It left a mark, spared me death
I ran out of breath
And for a minute there was quiet

Then the bus came
And off she went
I pulled out my worn out itinerary
That had the answers to everything

Then I sang down a tin can, with a string thru a hole

I want to kiss your soul
I want to kiss your soul

Fly Jailbird Fly
Because my wings are broken
And my sight is weak

Fly thru the skies
And over the tides

Out of my hands
And out of my control

Give me dreams
Make them bigger than they seem

Everybody’s after you
Everybody wants you

Fly Jailbird Fly

I’m like a Jenga Box
With a hole in the front to put the pieces in

Because I live in this house of housemates
All from somewhere else
All gone to look for something

When we finished Jenga,
I had to put the pieces in one by one
Thru the hole in the box
One by one

And so I’ve got to build in to build out
Understand what it’s about
I’ve got to build in to build out
Understand what it’s about

So when I go looking
I don’t leave things missing

Juliet is at the door
Juliet wants to know more
She wants the details of the house
What's inside
Behind the windows

She has a lovely smile
I was a singing a wonderful song
And there she was a listening
All curious
With her bag over her shoulder
And her hair behind her ear

She tells me about her spouse
I tell her about the house
Every inch, every detail
Every secret a man can keep

She says she'll be back
It was nice to meet
She lives next door
But I never did see her anymore

Just a letter from the land lord
About his many eyes
And how our tenancy had shortened
To one week
No more

But for the skies there are no fences facing
The crow speaks into the blue openness
I don't have to be anybody else here

Eucalypts hang lazily
This part of the earth bends into the sun
Its natural inclination

There are no labels
The cupped hands that held the rains are still there
They can't be bought or sold

I feel the press and the crowd
The roof-blown churches
The new religion loud
Where to now?

Well, just as you are

Into this landscape
Changing with the seasons
Falling and rising

I am
As I am
No more
No less
And today
It will do

When I was young
I had two pencils and drew in two colours
I would stick them to the brick wall outside
And there they would stay
Until the wind blew them away

But the longing stays
Bittersweet
And just under
I wonder if it has a name?
If I said it, would it go away?

Is it the firm press of reality?
And why can my guitar still play it?
What will become of it?
I got a feeling it’s very important to me

The longing that stays
Bittersweet
Just under
I wonder if it has a name?
If I said it, would it go away?

Sometimes it’s like a deity
Sometimes it’s like broken light
Sometimes it’s like loneliness
Sometimes it’s feint
And sometimes it’s like truth

The longing that stays
Bittersweet
Just under
I wonder if it has a name?
If I said it, would it go away?

Lady Bird


We got home in the early morning
The after party on the boat was pretty pathetic
But the night, venue and music itself was tip-top
It's been a long time since I've been out on drugs
And it won't be the last

I went with Ahmet, my legend of a friend and housemate
We've booked ourselves for another next month, but that's the last one ever! I promise!

So I was sitting in the conservatory alone
In the morning sun
And I notice a Grand Lady Bird singing
I close my eyes and listen
We are all listening to her

They are definite phrases
Eloquent and heavy with her touch and emotion
Sighs of praise from the older women next door
I don't even speak her language
But she is singing her best, her most beautiful
And we are all pinned on her

Crash BANG!
The noisy big bird of a ***** crashed into the conservatory ceiling
And squarks like a rude fat idiot
Quiet, settle
He better not make another noise, fat ****

Lady Bird begins out of no-where
3 notes
She stops

We are all supporting her on, in our minds

The not such a good singing little supporter breaks into his best song
No, no, no, no says Elegant loving Lady bird
It carries on a bit, this back and forth, a bit of comedy
No, ahhh, no, ahhhh, no...

Somewhere in this I'd forgot to mention
Lady Bird was angry at me
I'd somehow, unknowingly got her attention
And she was reproaching me
I picked myself out of all the surrounds to be the one that Lady Bird was getting angry at
And I was listening so intently to her song
So you can imagine how quickly I wanted to sink and hide from her view

But later I did get to speak with her
I asked her if I should continue singing
She said yes it was good, and this is from her!
To go for it
But be smart......

So this is the story about Lady Bird in our back yard
I'll try to play with her next time, on the guitar
Let's see, she is out there

She stands beside the wheel, it is the wheel of life  
She has the same face as my mother

Dress
Seeds
That place I ran from

A sullen voice, a lonely swift
Who's time is it now
To sing for joy?

I see you everywhere
Every coloured skin
In tenderness and care

I've found a den to hibernate
I want to tell you what I see
Before it's too late again

The light of God
It's true
True as the sky is blue

Funny how these bridges hold
With no-where to plant the otherside
Building into the sky
An open road
The only way I've got to go

Over the lavender fields
The lavender dreams
The lavender bandages
Removed and healed

Leave a space for the unknown

Mark it out
With an X
With an altar
With a prayer
With respect

Leave a space for the unknown

Run to it
Walk with it
Dream about it
Enact and perform it
Be it

Leave a space for the unknown

Let it be
Call it what you like
Believe and re-believe
Learn and re-learn
Here's one for the unknown

Look after the unknown
Take care of it
Be understanding with it
Hold it
Set it free

Leave a space for the unknown

Let me push this sorry thing
Over the edge

Curled up
With messages of love
That will fan out
Over the world
As he tumbles to the sea

Because today will never happen again


Let me feel the tingling in my feet
And the sweat in my palms

I think I could sing a thousand psalms
All about ghosts in machines
But then you’d never see

That it was me
On two feet
And it was my love
Still nervous, and still free
That made the leap

Let me push this sorry thing over the edge

(Yeah, my love, my love, my love)

Let me take your mind off the storm
And the flood that's come thru the room
Left everything in a mess


One light
In a crowded room
And I wasn't so frightened, I wasn't so lost

Your name means light
So lead the way with your smile tonight
We'll see what is true
We have to


Fumbling around for the keys
The diamonds in our dreams
The dead end streets



Where are all these people going?
What are they doing with their disappointment?
What am I doing with mine
I've been following the river
She's wrapped around me like a vine




Do some people know when they are to die?
Like the honourable who know it's the end of the night.
But not you and I




Let's do what we came here to do
I want to as much as you
Let's do what we came here to do
Separate the red green and blue

If you've come for songs named after you
And serenades in the moon
It aint me aint me babe

Your body is made of impulse
mine has a pulse
We were looking for the diamonds in our dreams
We were fumbling thru the underground, looking for keys, weren't we?


Let's do what we came here to do
In truth
It's something we have to


Sweaty *******
Fitted sheets
Let's get in the taxi
I don't have a clue

Even this frame and it's short exposure
Ends in some kind of disappointment
Does someone have an idea
Where to make an appointment?



Let's do what we came here to do
In truth
It's something we have to



I had her on my mind all the while
Trying to understand the language I speak
Starting deaf and mute
And you're bilingual
But we have little to say to each other


Let's do what we came here to do
In truth
It's something we have to

4 boys in the pool, wrestling
And beside them a family of three
Dad, mum and girl of about 6

Getting into the raucousness of it
The family are wresting and swimming around
A pink ball between the three

Later the girl is just away from mum and dad, rubbing her eyes
And dad tackles mum a little
Overexcited

And mum says don't hold me like that
And affectionate dad comes round behind her

The 3 unite, mum checks on daughter

Some other mum saw me
As I went daydreaming
"That's what you want!"

I didn't look directly at the family as they left the pool
Just in the corner of my eye
As mum put on her slippers and walked away

Life collects like dust in a cup
Slowly, day by day
Priceless
Earnings

Mystics
Readers
Tea Leaves
Interpreters of Life

Hot air balloons
Thru the doors
And halls of this house
Giant

Words are lines drawn
They keep me in line
I have sides
Dark and light
Fuzzy grey black white

It's to stand
It's to be truthful
Comfortable, live with yourself
To not run
To be proud of yourself

I can't wait for a friend that opens me up
I had such a friend, opened me up, dark and light
A lot feels like lies
'Face' I think they call it

I want to sing without face
With truth
Honesty
Hopefully there will be a crowd
It's not the most important thing
But I hope there are people vouching for me
As I am myself
The sound of myself
The scope, the voice

Love is in the mind
Love is the only essential ingredient for growth

I've broken down like a little girl

But there's another girl flying high thru the sky
Wielding her sword of freedom
The one she fought every day for

And another who has set up a house
With two more girls in it
Each of them
With an executive mark

But I've broken down like a little girl
Looking and feeling all sad

And all my sadness is in my feet
and I can't move
In my head and I can't think

But the minute it stops
I'll be a man again

And I'll please that little girl

I felt it this morning
An opening in the ceiling
A gigantic crack in the
Heart of man
Light...
Dreams could and would come true
Love is the way