It was my first week in the underground
I tapped the girl in the black dress on the shoulder
Pointing at my train booklet, I asked for directions
In the rush of people she quickly directed me
"Always from behind?"
She said boldly, sistering me
She could tell
I didn't look into her eyes
And I carried on my way

I was sitting in my room in the temple,
I was procrastinating
In a spiritual way
Hesse would understand

The world came to my door
The sound of footsteps made me want get back into bed
But I walked outside
Faced the world
Said hello
And started my day

We are shallow without her
We are shallow without her secret
That's all I know

We heard what he did to you
How he took you away from us
Your father's words were law at his trial
We pray for you and your family
Our blood is warm on this cold earth for you

I'll never forget those words
"What shoes will I have to wear in case I have to run"

We are shallow without her
We are shallow without her secret
May it forever be safe, and safer still
Our blood is warm on this cold earth for you

There was before and after
Before, there were only a few really going for it

But now almost everyone is
Especially the singers and musicians

There is no next time anymore
Waiting around is like writing letters on your tombstone

To break the spells, the heavy quicksand, the black clouds, the mud and dirt
That could **** a man, that has and will **** many more

We are a stampede
A stampede of need

Pushing ourselves ever more beyond our tiredness
Into energy and the unexpected

To not go out quietly in our sleep
And to be left with the weight of not having tried, with that headache from time immemorial

To be free to be free to be free, she sang

These are truthful days

Everytime I see her
While I'm working
She makes me angry
She triggers my rage

Her homeless hair
Crackhead eyes and skin
Her cracked teeth
That demand shout and beg

I saw her on a cold night
Walking about
It was something like 2 am
Most women, if not everyone
Wouldn't be out at that hour, alone
She must think she has nothing
Nothing to keep safe
Nothing to take
Nothing
Nothing

It was Cameron's 40th
He was the nicest guy
Never not smiling
If that guy wasn't love
Love didn't exist

I wanted to check if they were still together
And there they were
She'd posted photos, some going back 20years

Sally was always smiling too
She'd be there after school
Besides Cameron and his car

She had womanly secrets and figure too
But all thoughts you may have had,
She dispelled with her smile
They were unbeatable

I didn't come down on a cloud
Like Sally and Cameron
My egg cracked in stormy a sky
It's yolk tumbling to the mud and rainwater below

Mine has been a fight
Between the dark and light
Maybe for a time
I used to be beautiful

And I cried for that time
But maybe I was blowing it up in my mind

I don't cry for yesterday anymore
I've caught up with myself
You could say

Cameron would be happy to hear from me
I'm sure he is smiling at my birthday message
I'm working my way out
As each and every person has to

Lend me your eyes
So that I can see myself
And when it's me I'm seeing
I'll give them back

I've got the feeling something big is going to happen

I used to be beautiful,
Let's see
After the storm
The rain
And the sun that rolled across the trees in my dreams
Let the dust settle
Where it has to be

Your name means light
So lead the way with your smile tonight
We'll see what is true
We have to


Fumbling around for the keys
The diamonds in our dreams
The dead end streets



Where are all these people going?
What are they doing with their disappointment?
What am I doing with mine
I've been following the river
She's wrapped around me like a vine




Do some people know when they are to die?
Like the honourable who know it's the end of the night.
But not you and I




Let's do what we came here to do
I want to as much as you
Let's do what we came here to do
Separate the red green and blue

If you've come for songs named after you
And serenades in the moon
It aint me aint me babe

Your body is made of impulse
mine has a pulse
We were looking for the diamonds in our dreams
We were fumbling thru the underground, looking for keys, weren't we?


Let's do what we came here to do
In truth
It's something we have to


Sweaty *******
Fitted sheets
Let's get in the taxi
I don't have a clue

Even this frame and it's short exposure
Ends in some kind of disappointment
Does someone have an idea
Where to make an appointment?



Let's do what we came here to do
In truth
It's something we have to



I had her on my mind all the while
Trying to understand the language I speak
Starting deaf and mute
And you're bilingual
But we have little to say to each other


Let's do what we came here to do
In truth
It's something we have to

I woke up this morning feeling low down and *****
Like I don't deserve a thing

I woke up thinking about karma and love equations
And what would I deserve?

You could say it was selfish
You could say it wasn't true

But I want to shine like the sun
And chirp like the birds outside my window


I think about that beautiful smile
That exists just because

And I look at my hands that grab at the air
Like they always have

You could say it was selfish
You could say it wasn't true

But I want to shine like the sun
And chirp like the birds outside my window


In singing and songs and guitars with chords
I have a generosity

And I want everyone to know that I've always cared
That it's always there


You could say it was selfish
You could say it wasn't true

But I want to shine like the sun
And chirp like the birds outside my window


I once said I didn't want to come first
Because I was afraid I'd be clotheslined by the finishing line

If that's where the giving starts and the taking ends
I'll run around like a headless chicken


You could say it was selfish
You could say it wasn't true

But I want to shine like the sun
And chirp like the birds outside my window

I think I get it now
I remember when I was so sad
Sitting up slowly in bed
And she saw me from the door
She ran over
And saddled me smiling

And I was sitting up slowly
Again
The same way
When I was watching
My workmate
And the way old Tom talked to her
And she was watching me
She was sitting up slowly in bed too

Thankyou Tom in a way
Thankyou for letting us see each other
We
Who sit up slowly in bed

My name translates to friend

I see the many ways in which you ridicule me

The ways you shake the walls of my good home

The poison you administer

I see it all

But one thing I have

Is this

I'll come out on top

In a peaceful way

My name translates to friend

You can call me Ray



It's hard to stay away from those thoughts

Of letting lose

Nothing to lose

But I have everything

I took the blame

I walked in shame

I felt the pain


But one thing I have

Is this

I'll come out on top

In a peaceful way

My name translates to friend

You can call me Ray



I may not say it everyday

But that is what I mean

In that way

I am free

Setting out

We met by the fireplace
I said I played guitar
So I went round for a jam

If all we did
was live and breath
It would be ok
But then there are dreams
And things we are good at
And that's where the trouble starts

Of asking what do you mean
And you must know!

How do you make something from nothing?
How do you make something work?

A new song?

I've run out of places to run
But the world is large
But it isn't the world I've come to see
It's me
Here's one for positivity though
You don't have to run
You can walk slow
I'm not going anywhere

How do you make something from nothing?
How do you make something work?

I'm sure you'll be there
When you need to be
You'll step up when it's time
Exactly when or how
I couldn't be sure
But take it easy
You've got this far

A new reassurance
One from the treasure chest
I heard an angel say, trust the timing of your life

How do you make something from nothing?
How do you make something work?

All saints day
One for the romantics too
Standing under a cherry tree
In the wrong spot
There's a beauty in a face covering
But you couldn't tell

The dog are doing laps around the track
At the Walthamstow Racecourse

Blind Spot.
Full Stop.
Steady walking
Like breathing
Quiet all the needing

Blind Spot.
Full Stop.
My pen tries to point out
What will be saved
What goes to the grave
I can't tell which is which

Blind Spot.
Full Stop.
Is it the preparation?
Is it the situation
Is it ripeness?
I want to write it down

Blind Spot.
Full Stop.
Get away from me
Let me breath
Let me breath
I'll be ok

I have a poisoned heart
It giggles it doesn't laugh
And it wants and wants

I want to put it into a song
Have it heard a million times over

What will the census
And the bureau of statistics say?

About the poison of a poisoned heart.


I want to make it
I want to make it better
I want to be selfless, not selfish
In the light, not it the dark
It's just an idea
For an antidote
Solvents into liquid


I have a poisoned heart
I saw it's shadow in the landing
My hair was clogging up the sink
My father was studying by candlelight
Younger than me, listening to the wind

I met a girl who reads poems
Maybe I can show her what I've written here

About the poison of a poisoned heart.


I want to make it
I want to make it better
I want to be selfless, not selfish
In the light, not it the dark
It's just an idea
For an antidote
Solvents into liquid

I've been spread thin over toast
Ready to eat
Will my mind and body ever meet?
Who is there to blame?
Will I see that smile again?
Show me the way
Open your gates

A flower is bright because it is
The morning sky says good morning in blue and orange because it does
The afternoon light slants thru the window because it does
The half moon rises above the roof because it does
The moonlight stretches across the floor because it does
And music sings because it does

I open my mouth wide
And there are things that are long finished
They are taking up space
They are taking up today

But the flower is still bright
Bright as a sailing flag
And the morning sky says good morning
The afternoon light slants thru the window
The half moon rises above the roof
The moonlight stretches across the floor
And music sings because it does

The water on the river shimmers because it does
The coral in ocean blooms because it does
The bird in the sky turns circles because he does
The trees stand and breath because they do
The rain falls because she does
And music sings because it does

The great wall diminishes
I can walk over it
With my head in the clouds
And the door stays wide open
Because it does

It's a mystery
Of who painted those elephants
In Technicolour
Young and old

Let the mystery live on
Alive as it is now

Who did it?
Asked the young lady
Whose painting tattoos my skin
Shining a light over my dying mind

Till death do us part
Let the mystery live on

We converse with complete strangers
To say the things we don't
To our families

I'm drawn to the music
It's New Year's Eve
I turn around and there is a row of girls
Now it's a circle
Going round
And bigger again

The ******* her dad's shoulders
Is maybe 3
Looks right at me
And so does the girl
With dark skin and headscarf
As she joins the circle
And so does the old lady
Maybe 93
Where I can't see
Looks at me

It's New Year's Eve
There is a circle of girls

You'll see
I'll carry the day
I'll carry it a long way

Out into my openness
That would never go away



All but one room
With its clean carpet
There I wrote songs
Until it got dark

They were true in their aim
Tears came and came
Sisters in the front row
Cried for change



You'll see
I'll carry the day
I'll carry it a long way

Out into my openness
That would never go away



I must have lost a man by now
A young one at least
But here I am
Still protected

My eye is on the moon
Her staircase still
Extending down
Waiting for me and you



You'll see
I'll carry the day
I'll carry it a long way

Out into my openness
That would never go away



Why do you struggle?
Why are you sensitive?
Why are you crying?

Your voice suddenly powerful
Continues thru the flood
No hell below us
No heaven above


You'll see
I'll carry the day
I'll carry it a long way

Out into my openness
That would never go away

May 1, 2020

Beelines and Relics, that's what I'll make.
The Devil makes use of idle hands...

Two days ago, this corona virus thing, looked like a good relaxing world reprieve. A much needed slowing down.
But just like the construction builders who have worked throughout, that come in for coffee in the mornings, I wouldn't just relax and let it all slide.

I was on the phone to my mother the other month. "It's *******," I said. "When have they ever cared so much?"
And in Tesco the other day, a growing disbelief, a cynicism. "They can just mark in a car accident as a corona death," I overheard a guy saying to the clerk. "It's true," I chirped in.

Walking along the street today, masks everywhere. Signs up, billboards, ATM machines, corona virus this, corona virus that. Social distancing. NHS heroes.

I think now we are heading into a new form of control. Biological control. I was talking to Stef the other month, and he had the notion that in the future, people would need to have the appropriate vaccinations before they could get on a plane. Totally forseeable.

We, the human populace, the animal, biological component. Easily docile, easily, easily controlled.

The big guns may hit us yet.

I can go anywhere
When Nancy is walking with me
I can walk thru any door
And my eyes don’t look at the floor

When we are dancing
Perfect beelines in the sunlight
We travel far
We travel time



She came from the sea of songs
And all the letters, that were birds with feathers
I was astonished
At how long they had been going


She walked barefoot on the beach
Before it got dark
And it never did
All these things she tells me with her heart




I can go anywhere
When Nancy is walking with me
I can walk thru any door
And my eyes don’t look at the floor

When we are dancing
Perfect beelines in the sunlight
We travel far
We travel time






She took my hand and said let’s go
All the smoke and mirrors
All my doubt
It disappeared

I said Nancy
Don’t be away from me
I’m no good when you’re not around

I played my guitar
My body lifted off the ground
And all these things I said to her with my heart

Everyone’s inside tonight
These chords make me remember that sad song

That fills me with longing


Reality set his mark
But I crossed the line


Don’t get me wrong
When I sing of a love
That always will be
And always was



We’ve gone looking
Our minds filling the empty streets

I was walking in the warm night
In a heavy dream


Reality set his mark
But I crossed the line

Don’t get me wrong
When I sing of a love
That always will be
And always was





Where will we go?
When there is nothing to give to?
No cup for our overflowing hearts?


Reality set his mark
But I crossed the line


Don’t get me wrong
When I sing of a love
That always will be
And always was

Dear Luna
Smiling Crescent
Don't let me touch your body
Because I'd just write my name on it
Never to return

But I pray for the day
When you look at me with both eyes
Full and bright
With a smile I can return

On that day
I'll never leave your side
It's my nature
It's my promise

Truth lived there
Making little noise
Speaking to few
“Just pretend I’m not here”

Where will we go
On ****** Snow?
Melting
Like a crying child

There are too many holes in the ground
And too many in the air
Where do we go
On ****** Snow?

There are too many things
I don't want to see
It ***** the life out of me

Where do we go
On ****** Snow?

During my salvation's work
I left you alone

If there's a tide in your heart, pull now
There's a love song I want to sing
To say I love you
I always have and always will

I can't hide anything from you
The words I've forgotten, I've found them now
And the air is still crisp, the moon still bright
Shining on the ****** Snow

The half-rotting houses
Are filled with people
Some you want to meet
Some you want to love

You see her walking along the street
Dressed in black
A mystery you want to meet
You too are dressed in black
And wonder what she sees
Waiting for the bus
The bus that could set you free
There are conversations without speaking
But they fall to easily to the street
To join the chorus of car engines and cold weather

And then she’s standing right beside you at the bar on friday
In a striped vintage suit
You ask her name and she stays
She’s pretty and brave
Is that the rattling of chains?
Maybe it is
Because you thought about here while you were away
What you would say
And then she defeats you with a smile
Have a good night she says

You try so hard for an aerial view
But your eyes are now tried and true
Then you see her at the crossing
Dressed in black with a winter hat
And you’re walking beside her now
She’s watching your gait
You keep a straight face
She has no time to waste
She doesn’t seem to mind you
As you speak your voice competes with the street
She points to where you were going
And where she is going
Across the street
To set your gaze
Showing you where to look
The pastry shop brightly illuminated

She defeats you with a smile
That touches your mind
It's you pulling at the end of a long line

The half rotting houses
Are filled with people
Some you want to meet
And some you want to love

Stefanie's Guitar
Breaks off in a million shards
Its sound like a star
All angles of possibility
All directions
Light refracts, explodes, appears just to disappear
Beyond Stefanie's Guitar

To look with eyes that don’t judge
But Love
I’m on it like crime
I check it every time

Bell
Always by side
You’ve guarded my heart
For so long

I remember going busking
With you
Outside the supermarket
And I dropped you at my feet
And the homeless guy
Smiling at me

And when
I went to that place
The made bed
And Red light
The smiling girls
And I sang Valerie
And walked out
Passed the guard
Following me out
Cigarette in the street

We were all unmade
And I still am

You’ve guarded my heart
I believe

You said I’m worth a chance

The gates open and close behind me

Now I’m moving
It’s time to use my feet
Each other we’ll still see
I’m going out into the world
Make believe

Crispy Bits
In a pan
That’s what I am
Without me
The whole
Would be quite bland

I bring it together
I go well with everything
Perhaps
I didn’t know
And still don’t
Everything

But it would be a shame
If I spoke to soon
If I left myself
No more room
Got too dark
Bitter and sour of mood

I’m a crispy bit
In a pan
If I go wild
It better be with calm
And it should be with charm
The kitchen
Is still serving

Like rain on a thirsty day
You’ll be seeing me again

Dear displaced and stolen
I’m so sorry
For all your loss
I could never understand
Tell us how
Let us begin
To live in this world
To live on this land
To care
To understand

The old man
Who destroyed his bed
Shat in it
As if that is what it was meant for

Wasn’t invited to my sisters wedding
He was missing
I’ve been here two weeks
And I’ve avoided contact

I remember the lady with the red hair
And the kids I’d never like
How she held my awesome tennis racket to the ground
   I couldn’t say “You’re going to scratch it!”

I remember he’d be on the phone to her
Sometimes in the toilet
Us kids were just in the rumpus room
As if that is what it was meant for

But I do remember the older boy
With long brown hair
He had CD’s downstairs and he burnt some for me to listen to
   “Rock and roll breeds anarchy” the old man said
       It was all a bit forced

But I remember when this boy pulled out his guitar
Sang a song
And we were all seated outside
This awkward place to be
And I saw the old mans face
How it went still

I am music
I am like water
I am like time
I am like change

Today I said
Love is the way
Before today
I never saw myself getting old
I would die
At some significant age
A number
Just a dreamless void
Dead
Somewhere

But maybe
If love is the way
I’ll be here another day
And another
And another

I felt it this morning
An opening in the ceiling
A gigantic crack in the
Heart of man
Light...
Dreams could and would come true
Love is the way

God calls me home
I can’t wait to go
It’s a new chapter for us
And I’ve got myself a ticket

It will be that summer I was singing about
And we’ll all be around
From where I’m looking
The Earth will be upside down

People round here look vicious
I think it’s the spin
I get tougher
So do they

My mind circles like grey clouds
Fills my pen with that ink
And I stencil the page
Like cracks in the pavement

God calls me home
I can’t wait to go
It’s a new chapter for us
And I’ve got myself a ticket

It will be that summer I was singing about
And we’ll all be around
From where I’m looking
The Earth will be upside down

Like an Opera singer
Behind closed doors
All velvet imagination
I’ll shine this blade, made for salvation

I don’t know how people do it sometimes
But I will and I do
Just like the call coming thru

God calls me home
I can’t wait to go
It’s a new chapter for us
And I’ve got myself a ticket

It will be that summer I was singing about
And we’ll all be around
From where I’m looking
The Earth will be upside down

Labour and Nature
Always at odds
For a time
Everything out of my hands drops

Sparks, friction
And science fiction
Your masterpiece
Can wait

Because I want to be in love

I will,
try to see everyone as awesome
And beautiful regardless

Yes, it’s hard to maintain
A mirror shatters again and again
Until

Understand me love
A little help goes a long way

What did I say?

Yeah, because I want to be in love

I will,
try to see everyone as awesome
And beautiful regardless

She said so many people
Said that about this place
Here at Lea’s table

She said she loves
The quiet of the garden sometimes
Just outside

I could see two sides of myself
One side yapping and buzzing
And the other
A Tall slab of granite
Ready to fall on it’s side

I knew that one was nothing without the other
Only with music would the two meet
It was like purpose and the way to do it
Being and how to be

I wasn’t perfect
It was ok
But at least I knew a place
Where the vine grew along the blade

Then I thought
What is light
Without a tree to shine on?

And I was sunshine in a chair
Getting dosed on another season
Feeling heavy
But passing

There’s been DejaVu lately
The invincible man I’m creating
Is breaking

Like raw eggs into pasta

Dark brother
I know you hate me
But I know you don’t
You know I hate you
But you know I don’t
I gotta go


What if we were at war below
I can see you
You know
Maybe it’s me
Daydreaming I’d overthrow
..You know
Or that hand that glowed

Dark brother
I know you hate me
But I know you don’t
You know I hate you
But you know I don’t
I gotta go

I gotta go
I gotta go
I gotta go

Maybe not all at once
Sticks and stones

Shadow heart
My shadow is as big as the skies at night
Looking and searching
And it’s coming up more
Understanding
But I don’t think this one can be probed with too much light
Just love
And maybe song

One day you’ll accept me as I am
Light and Dark
Black and White

How empty it is to force a smile
The same can be said for going wild

No good or evil, only purity
Said Mrs. Smith

As I am

Without judgement
With running or jumping
Without shouting
And without lips withheld

Just as I am

The air will feel alive
And so will I
Because I’ve done nothing to change it
I’m good with it

Those famous words again
It’s alright
It’s alright man
It’s alright

One day you’ll accept me as I am

The sand will be warm
And comforting
Grand and mountainous
Yet soft enough to pass thru your hands
Once it was hard to look at
Ugly
Shameful
Painful
Nasty and cruel
But we’ll get over it

One day you'll accept me as I am

The First Stone
Makes no sound
When it floats in the air
With Love

What is right?
What is wrong?
Are the words to this song

What is good?
What is bad?

The kite flies up
The reels spin out
They go and don’t come back
Or they haven’t yet

The Prayer leaf flies
Where does it go?
What is there to hold onto?
Nobody knows

It will run like horses in the clouds
With heavy thunder on the ground
Or it will disappear
While it’s here

What magic do we play with?
Spinning like dreams
The gathering leaves
Going round and round

There is the sad and senseless
There is heavenly matrimony

There is the world of doubt
And what’s it about?

Get what you want
I say to myself now

There’s a lump in my throat
I still have to do something about

Prayer Leaf
Tell me about you
Tell me what you want
Tell me as much as you can

She’s made only for love
She’s into horses
She has a unicorn tattooed on her arm
She’s the prettiest
And soft spoken

She says it’s her dream to go to Australia
Where I’m from
How long are you going to stay here? She asked
She had dreams to live on?

I’m going to kiss her hand before I go
I said to myself
And the women are smiling at me
With her around
Even Maya Angelou
On the cover
Know’s what it’s about

I invited her to the show
Let’s see, you never know.
I’m a unicorn
Maybe she knows

A house on Kinglake
Overlooking the city
Horses in the paddock
And once a year,
A festival
Under the stars
People to meet, people to know

One thing's for sure
She’s made only for love
And I kissed her hand
Before I had to go

Walking up the hill with Amy
The party has finished
It’s a small town
So not many people are around

Over the bridge with the steam train
And the hill is steep
You can hear it when it’s there
And when it isn’t

O.K. up we go
Choo-choo under the stars
Muscle to hold up the cliffs
Against the ocean
And the small houses

What are you doing here?
I just want to feel you there
This is everywhere
This is who we have come to see
Dancing and disappearing before our eyes

Say something

Slow Moon
Distant pull
I'm thinking about you
As I levitate
Slowly

I want to stay with you
The cracks
Are showing thru
Silently I howl
for you

I feel there is nothing you wouldn't do
No time you couldn't see thru
The ocean stretches on its shores
And the lands rise to become mountains of you

Slow moon
Whistles a tune
Deep and true
And the earth
turns calm
wonderful
subdued

The youth got on the tram
Was he coming up or going down?
Why was it so hard to smile
Was it the billions they’d spent on fireworks
Was it the famine?
Was it the lovin’
Hey Lawman, he said
Come May, don’t talk so loud, don’t talk so proud


Always will be always was


Seizures are so quick
Mine were the worst
I’m going to have to do something atomic
To kick the dead where it hurts


Always will be always was


And now that we’re are talking
How tough do you have to be?
To get free these days.
How much for a stroll on the highway?

Ever heard the story of Hammer Arm when he came to town?
They said the sight of him
And the streets would turn around
People spat out petrol and drank in sun
It was a weapon of choice
It was a day of fun


Always will be always was


What did it mean to teach the world how to be a world again
To teach the world about wonder and about peace
How to dream?

We kissed once
And we were legends
They couldn’t see us
Not at all

Take me to the new Church
The one with the swimming wall
I want to see it
See it all

We’ll take hold for a moment
We’ll seize control
Till there’s nothing left
Till there’s nothing more
One kiss to finish it
One kiss, that’s all

The war will run and hide
Either that or we’ll fly
And your peacefulness
Will be my bride


We’ll take hold for a moment
We’ll seize control
Till there’s nothing left
Till there’s nothing more
One kiss to finish it
One kiss, that’s all

Your smile shakes heaven from its high nest
Borders collapse and borders fall

One kiss and we were legends
One kiss, that’s all


We’ll take hold for a moment
We’ll seize control
Till there’s nothing left
Till there’s nothing more
One kiss, to finish it
One kiss, that’s all

Watching people on the bus
Thru windows
Talking to each other
And who do I talk to?
Just played music to a bar
And who did I sing to?

Because it’s night isn’t it?
There are lights everywhere
Rows and rows of lights
Colours flashing, signing
Like a giant lit up christmas tree on its side
And there’s no-one to talk to

A 3 minute fantasy will do
The removalist
Removed
I could go walking and not stop
Afraid I’d stop
Afraid of everything
Removed

A 3 minute fantasy
I’d put it all down for it

I watched the internet star
And what do I do?
But this isn’t doubt or disbelief
This is being sure
But with your lips sealed

Maybe just like heaven and the afterlife
It’s a fools wish
To speak with words
You mean
Even to yourself
Let alone somebody else

Here comes the crux
The lonely singular wish…
Don’t stop walking
Creating, collaging
Collecting, doubting
Posting, recording, believing
Writing, thinking
Typing, aiming and doing

A 3 minute fantasy
I’d put it all down for it