I remember warm summer days,
the swing at my grandparents
the calmness of it all
I remember the bees in the garden
the old dog chasing them slowly
the kittens hiding in the bushes while I tried to pet them.
I remember the fun I used to have
the points of light, pulling me through the dark storm.
I remember the hospitals
the screams
the halls
the room
I remember the nights
when I was so naive
when I thought I had a friend
when I was used to hurt.
I remember the mornings where I woke up at grandpa’s
the eggs on the stove
the coffee in our mug
I remember the days we spent baking
such wonderful cookies
my grandma makes
I remember the leftovers
that I always had to eat
I remember the couch where I slept
too afraid to go to my bed because of the monster in my closet
yet not allowed to go to my mothers side
I remember the pills
more than I knew how to count
I remember the things I was told
to hate my family
and what they were told
to hate me.
I remember the girl
covered in her own blood
as the doctors hauled her away
I remember the kids at school
who would point and taunt
how could they know?
I remember the names they called me
stupid, freak, ******, ******
I remember the way the other patients treated me
such contempt and fear
I remember finding the light
coming here
no one will ever know
how much this means to me