How strange to
miss
a city.

Like saying:
I miss the way you were loved.
The way you felt busy and full
I miss your gloom your cold
your
sidewalks that felt
                           (foreign)
with
new boots to fill and new skies to kiss.

I miss you like a city.
I could navigate your walls
For
      ever

And she said:
       “ I have been here before
   Swimming along your rocky shores.
And I have felt your waves echo along my ribs
and beat along my heart.”
I have
       seen you in sandy planes like Mars.
                (You) have transported me to a world I feel but can’t remember.
I have
           wandered here along these rows of pines.
            They turn their faces to me like ghosts I’ve spoken to
            but remain nameless with unfamiliarity.

But I have felt these tremors once before.
walking along your rocky shores.

You are west. Black oceans and dream worlds
Laid out like mystic landscapes along ridges of desert that become transparent
Against luminous flesh under moonlight.
Tapestries woven from threads of destiny and braids of sunlight and
Crystal crafted witchcraft that ventures into Hades.
The deepest black in ink ridden scrying bowls
That sing of kaleidoscopic visions and prophetic daydreams.

You are wilted
And I have found you climbing iron lattices that I have only known in passing
Like the forget-me-nots you’d pick the petals of
“He loves me
He loves me not”
If only I could become immortal.

You’re my favorite word.
And I could take you in endless combinations
Letters lining your spine like a poem you read as a child
The one where you had felt love for the first time
But had forgotten that this is what it sounded like.
You are like medicine
That I didn’t know I needed but needed.
Your warmth is like the summer air.
And I think you taste like the rain in the moonlight.

I want to give you the space to exist, to settle into the cracks on wood panels and floors that have heard your footsteps in and out again. I could ask you once or twice, where your body goes when your mind’s asleep and where your voice sings to the heavens in moments where your body feels weak. I am afraid of the answers and the places you escape, the darkness is kinder and a muse that will never break. You have existed in mountains and suns glistening anew but like a supernova or a dying star I won’t know about you until I am gone too. I could ask you in the moments when your body surfaces from ocean tides where it has gone in the Summerland, but the realms you travel are dangerous and you dare not hold my hand. But I have lived a life and a half for you, or perhaps with, but you have never swept my bones of stardust across your tired cheeks. I shall not miss the forlorn darkness you were too scared to keep.

Have you found it
Because I know you've been searching through snowy tracks restlessly
Through empty valleys and moons of full
(I think you pricked your finger on a thorn)
I've seen your footprints
Heavy in the heel like you should know where you're going but can't remember
And you carry that weight past truck stops and treetops. Past rooftops, kissed with smoke
I've seen it
Covered in white fur coats of snow glistening
And I think you walk too quickly to catch it
So I'll sit here and wait until your bones feel warm once again
So maybe one day you can catch me too