Thank you speeding car
Outside my window, louder then her breathing
For snapping my attention back to the moment,
To thinking of her, instead of her

You do not know your significance
You never will
Maybe you’re the stranger I helped up the day before
It’s a weird way of thanking me

We will help each other a thousand times over
Before we are gone from this world
Just as every stranger helps me
And I them.

Hair disheveled, beard overgrowing,
My eyes squint at anything over-glowing.
With every sip of gin I’m reminded of you,
Am I waking in blue?
Am I the old geezer they all call me?

As folly as finding logic in Lost,
I still don’t know your final cost,
I lie to everyone; say I’m just fine,
They stop asking questions with that line.
They say I’m crazy, or wild, and let me be.

You are not free, as long I’m not;
But you don’t know where or if you are caught
I’ve gotten as good as you at faking it
But maybe you were faking at all.
And I am just failing to see.

Mischief

I.

Inspiration,
The view of the screen is blurred,
The scenes blend into one another
You take every actor at action, or word
The world has taken new meaning with the veil lifted
Pages merge as Jack against Tyler
The Durden family united by gun smoke
But lies you tell yourself
They begin to show themselves
And your world falls apart
You stop seeing you
And how everyone else sees you
Can’t you see the color fading from the page?
The ink wells dry as you turn them
The stories you once loved are fading into the whiteness that destroyed you.

You are no longer the man you dreamed of being
An astronaut, a zoo keeper, psychologist,
All faded dreams, from a time when innocence reigned supreme.
What will you do with this new profound knowledge?

I walked to the same shop as I did everyday
Sipped the same coffee
Saw the same people, drank the same gin
Nothing changed, I was still dreaming.

II.

Impatience,
You walked away years ago,
Months, weeks, days, just now
But with two thousand years behind me
I will find a way to forget you!

I would say I’m Sisyphus,
But my boulder does not see peaks
An endless climb, to the stars
Does he know his efforts are fruitless?
Because I do

Smell-less smoke creeps under my door,
I will not wake for it, it is sightless as well
But if I do wake it is violent,
My juniper friend calms my hand,
I know this is wrong,
The window needs to be opened.
The gas needs to be let out.

I thought I cast you from my life
But your ******* portrait hangs above the mantel
Do I really want to forget you? Or is this the face everyone else wants?
I can’t get you to leave me alone, although you’re motionless.
You are some one else, I am still right here.

III.

Unprepared,
The news rooms only rehearsed one ending
All the papers printed victory for their man,
Everyone foresaw this victory.
Millions of papers printed,
Posters, statues, schools,
All made in his mad image.

But the papers were burned,
Statues torn down,
Printers were executed.
How dare they  


IV.

Surprise,
I see you sitting there with him.
At the café sipping tea, or coffee,
I don’t remember what you really preferred
But I take comfort knowing he doesn’t know at all

You’re both laughing and smiling
And I’m left breathless,
Upset,
Frustrated,
I know I could do it better
But you don’t know
You never will.

I was just walking to work,
And you’ve changed my entire day,
V.

Greed,
Do not be ruled by your possessions
If you spend all your time worrying about the bills
You’ll forget to use the utilities to live!
Try to own as little as possible.
It will be easier to move.
Try to die in the winter time,
Those who have to burry you,
Will remember you better.

Throw away half of your stuff,
Live without electricity or running water,
See the world.
Try new disgusting looking food.
Don’t be afraid of falling,
How will you be able to see the bottom?

IV.

Toska,
We have no word for it,
My professor warned me about that word.
Once you read it, you cannot forget
It rings in my ears a thousand times a day.
I’m sorry for damning you with it.
I meant no mischief by it.

From the nothingness sparks oblivion,
Chaos encompasses the entirety of the vacuum.
Only to slowly fade to an even distribution,
Of the stardust that we are all made of.
I sit on my front stoop, ready to watch the world burn.

Sadness has no place in this destruction,
Only long unending sedation.
I see the molecules separating around me,
Entropy scares the hell out of me,
Far more than the explosive end we all deserve.

His martinis were dry
His reds were bitter
His lagers were dark
His coffee preferred black

He was stubborn and mean
His insults cut to the bone
He kept his house and record clean
His heart often rivaling stone

He loved few, respected less
He saw things scientifically, with math
Every problem logical, situations chess,
Yet he was lost, knowing no path

You could not touch him beyond skin
Only one or two had seen beyond his eyes
He valued those who held within their sin
And who did not let out cries.

But he did let a few in to his mind
These people saw its fatherly side
To them he would silently act kind
But they didn’t know it was all for pride.

May we all fall into the cave of despair
Where darkness visible holds us within
We all deserve to go there for some reason or another!
To have Grendel greet us,
Would be a privilege

We would all roll the billiard ball to our enemies
Mon-fere what is your calling?
Do you have values anymore?
May religion take your soul
I hope Gods judgment is lighter than mine

O’Brian knew you as I do
I will follow you to hell, but not back
If only to make sure you burn
Chiron will take you across, but not like Dante
Like St. Judas, or Moloch or every fanatic alive