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707 · May 2012
Messed up
gracejeff May 2012
Naked bodies, empty souls
Bitten ****** lips, from the night before
Empty eyes, brain full of lies
***** sheets, dark, cold room

There she stands, fearless
Nothing can do her harm now
She has been there before
Didn’t find comfort or a safe place to stay, so she made her own

Smoking a cigar, trying to tell herself that this was her destiny, her fate
There she stands, restless
No sleep in her teary eyes
“I did this to myself”, says her broken voice  

Convincing herself
Night after night
Never giving up on what she thinks that is right
“But things didn’t go as you planed”, talks with her head
“I am stronger than that”, repeats after all these stupid thoughts
Reminding herself that she isn’t
Knowing that this is just an act
Just another of her many acts

There she stands, another sleepless night
A night that she doesn’t want to have
It’s that night when she confronts herself
She reminds herself what she really is
A walking phantom - she thinks
“But I am stronger than that”
These words she tries so hard to believe
But she never will

Sleep, please sleep! Yells to herself
But sleep will be late again this night, just like the other nights

Shaking, she thinks of the taste of the cheap wine she drank hours ago
Knowing the headache she will have tomorrow
But she is used to it
If only she could sleep this night
That is all she wants this night

There she stands, loveless
What have I done? She cries
Love let her down
I loved, I will love again - she lies

There she stands, awake in the middle of the night
She will stand up tomorrow
She will stand in her feet
She knows that this will be over

And as the sun raised, and the day begun
There she sleeps
Dreaming a useless dream
But still believing that she is not now, but she will be, stronger than this.

And in the other world, in one better dream, there he stands, sleeping comfortably
He became a better man
He will love and be loved again
And she?
She, tomorrow will throw herself to another man
Not loving, not being loved…

— The End —