Billing you the total cost.
Although most figures I purposefully lost.
I'm an origami paper that could never fold.
Unable yet everpresant to mold.
Wanted for being a trouble-maker.
Even though I was a total faker.
Arrested for my imagination.
I guess theirs are forever on suspension.

The nostalgia eats away my surroundings.
All I'm left with are these bleeding feelings.
Is it even worth concealing?
These visions; barely audible.
Not yet invisible.
Flashback, don't look with naked eyes.
Step back & begin to despise,
that I am made from thoughtless lies.

The trains cry out in the lonely hours of the night.
Their sirens beckoning, awakening me from my stupor and teasing that I'm still alive.

How unfortunate to be reminded that life continues with out me.
How self-centered to feel like I should be a part of it.

Shaping lifestyles and decisions based on sound waves.
Hiding between headphones, I escape to experiences that aren't mine.

What happened?

-Grace
August 2012

The reflection from your smile bursts past my eyes & burns spots into my conscious.
The kindness of your words empty doubts planted from years of self-lament.
The lovely spirit of your touch engulfs my senses and leaves me restless.
Then I picked you a flower, and it withered in your calloused hand.
You encourage progress, but through strict and taut reprimand.
You're so close, I cannot breath.
Suffocated by your presence.
Thoughts that could not deceive.
Decaying along with my dependance.
Obviously shaking from lack of reality.
Unwillingly anticipating your unruly authority.
Exploded, but there's still some attachment.
Don't you think so?

-grace12.3.2011

Something sentimental yet clearly detrimental seemingly extravagant sadly blindingly adamant.
Unable to let go, unstable ratio.
I lost my voice screaming you goodbye.

Tell me a story,
tales about glory.
Let me see what you have to say.
And then I'll decide to stay.
Keep me engaged, what happens next?
Get me enraged, such plots at their best.
Continue on, yes I'm listening.
Leaned forward, enthralled with your beckoning.
Hold me close, cover me- I'm chilly.
It's nearing towards the end.
But your words still twist & bend.
Yet I can still apprehend.
How predictive it turned out to be.
I'm not interested in you & she.
Let me go, I'm leaving.
Confused?
You should know, I've been bleeding.
Whet happened to the bandages your comforting words brought?
Was everything all fake, meant to rot?
If that's the case then I don't have the time.
Just too busy building my own paradigm.
I'd like you to be a part of it.
As long as you're not another bandit.
Like all the others wanting to steal my treasures.
Because of them I take all these drastic measures.
So see you later, and take care.
I'm off, wandering nowhere.
but hey, you'll know where I am to find.
Just follow the trail that I leave behind.
<3

In these set of problems,

can you find the sum of my heart?
the difference of my soul?
the product of my hurt?
the quotient of you?

No calculators please.
These mixed fractions constantly tease.
Cancel out my negatives with the BS of your positives
Can you ace this exam?

Why yes double check the dyslexic mess.
Saved by the text that alas means more than the rest.
Sorry, I can't make a decision, truly I must confess.
You in my life produces so much distress.

Not much to say, never really was.
Then really for all this? What was the cause?
I cover the wound with an already soaked gauze.
And fade away from your alluring montage.