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3.8k · Jan 2014
Dinner
GQ Jan 2014
A baloney sandwich.
Baloney is hardly meat.
A hardly meat and cheese sandwich.
A hardly meat and American cheese sandwich.
American cheese is hardly cheese.
A hardly meat and hardly cheese sandwich.
A hardly meat and hardly cheese sandwich on white bread.
White bread is hardly bread.
A hardly meat and hardly cheese on hardly bread sandwich.
I wanted meatloaf.
I wanted meatloaf with gravy.
I wanted meatloaf with gravy and a side of potatoes.
Mashed potatoes.
I wanted meatloaf with gravy and a side of mashed potatoes.
Hardly meat and hardly cheese on hardly bread is hardly a meal.
Hardly meat and hardly cheese on hardly bread is hardly a last meal.
1.1k · Jan 2014
Idle Time
GQ Jan 2014
As I sat upon the dock’s edge, idly skimming the questionably clean water with my toes, I closed my eyes and opened my ears to eavesdrop on the birds chattering across the fen.

Were they conspicuously cawing the sought after secrets of the universe in a foreign tongue, swapping stories of the skyway, boasting of their knowledge as they choked down half-drowned worms, brooding over the offensive punch line we call truth?

Or were they casually chirping how healthy the sun is for their plumage, teasing the hen for her aerial shortcomings, sharing seeds of sesame, and politely asking the woodpecker to stop his work, if only for a moment?

In my stasis of thought, a leech writhed to the water’s surface with intention, and rudely hooked onto my big toe without even asking first.

— The End —