I remember August, four years ago;
Trembling hands, climbed the stairs, found my place.
They said time would fly, but I didn’t know
We were all on a rocket ship in space,
Winking at light as we passed it, waving
To past selves before we realized they were
Past selves, suddenly older and craving
Freedom, wanting to leave but quite unsure
Of what occurs outside of our bubble;
We grew up in this kingdom, unaware
That we would have to turn it to rubble
One day, goodbye friends, are your hearts breaking?
Now the future is yours for the taking.

The polaroid says you are exquisite,
With your midnight hair and sapphire eyes,
Your rose petal lips, oh so delicate,
And the sound of your voice (what lovely lies).
And I can’t argue; it was me, after
All, who swooned at the mere sight of you, who
Got lost in the tan of your skin, your laugh,
The way you said my name and you, you, you.
But the camera couldn’t see your heart,
Fiery red, from all the stolen love,
Kisses and hugs you collected like art,
Displayed in places I only dreamed of
(your mind, I dreamt of it so often, I
Regret those nights, I wish I hadn’t cried).

Were they lies, or broken promises?
The times you told me you’d stay,
But fled the moment a better opportunity
Presented itself; what can I say?

I was foolish. Time and time again,
Alone, that was where I found myself,
The walls caving in just as quickly as your
Promises, the room collapsing in on itself.

I looked up “promises” in the dictionary,
But they got it wrong; the definition should read:
“things you may have meant for a moment
But threw away so quickly…” Do you see?

Perhaps the worst was “I love you”;
An unspoken promise that leaves me crying
At your blatant disregard for my heart;
I should’ve known you were lying.

Clear and slick and frozen,
The ice coats the ground,
The trees, parked cars,
And any tangible thing around.

My breath makes the air visible,
Just for a moment; it’s 25 below,
And I am frozen, chilled to the bone,
Shaking everywhere I go.

The city is an ice sculpture,
Glistening, so beautifully hazardous;
Frozen solid, doomed to melt –
An existence quite precarious.

The sun is stunningly silent today;
Does it believe its fate has been chosen?
I don’t miss it now, I suppose, but only
Because I’m enchanted by all that is frozen.

You scared me, Augustus, you really did;
I hate the feeling of smoke in my lungs, and yet
I found myself wishing I was cancer-free
So I could stand with you as you pulled out a cigarette.

But you just held it there between your lips;
It was the epitome of a metaphor,
And I stood there in utter disbelief,
Wanting more and more and more.

And the more I got, the more I loved -
Even your horrid driving (I’d drive with you
Until the end of time, Augustus, it wasn’t your
Time, Augustus, I’ll say it again, “I do.”).

These tears are a side effect of love,
And the fault was in our stars, but someday
We will unite again, Augustus, because our
Love is immeasurable and immortal, okay?

Three a.m., you’re at my window;
I am half asleep, mumbling,
Asking why you’re here; I’m a mess.
I make my way downstairs, stumbling…

Four a.m., we’re in my backyard,
And your eyes ought to dot the night sky.
I cannot look away; your face is a galaxy.
You catch me stargazing, but you don’t mind.

Five a.m., my eyelids are fluttering;
The moon, your smile, they start to blend.
I think I hear a melody, maybe…
No, no, it’s your voice; I cannot pretend.

Six a.m., the sun is set to rise again,
But we’ve lost track of time to keep;
The dawn is slowly breaking now,
And we’re alone, in love, asleep.

I
The sky was brighter when you were four,
You think, but what do you really know,
They say you haven’t any knowledge at ten,
You are too young, maybe when you’re sixteen
You’ll know a little more, about heartbreak,
About driving a stick shift, about life.

II
Maybe when you’re twenty you’ll see life
With fresh eyes, a different “fresh” than four,
You were so young then, what is heartbreak,
You didn’t know, you didn’t know, you didn’t know,
Do you want to understand, do you want to be sixteen,
Or would you rather stay innocent, stay ten?

III
You feel small, confused, you are ten,
You needn’t be, you have a decade of life
Under your belt, but you are not sixteen,
You haven’t driven alone, what is freedom, four
Is young enough to know love, know
Why the sun sets to rise again, but not heartbreak.

IV
It’s a long life, but it’s a short life, you know;
You dismiss four and yearn for sixteen;
Don’t yearn for heartbreak, live for ten.