I cannot stand the taste of salt
On my tongue as the night drags on
And although it is my own fault
I cannot stand to know you’re gone;
Sheets covered in raindrops – no,
Those are pieces of my heart
And I find myself alone tonight
(Perhaps deservingly so);
Didn’t mean to yell, to fall apart;
I’ve always feared the light.

My lips are unbearably numb;
Is this how I’ll miss your kiss?
Is this what I’ve become?
Lost your love in the abyss,
The depths of my own mind,
Where voices ring loud:
“You are not worthy!”
Oh, I do apologize;
Words like these won’t make you proud,
But neither will girls like me.

I am acquainted with early hours
Of the morning, and yes
One a.m., I miss the flowers;
Midnight has already seen the mess
That is my forlorn heart
And yes, two a.m.,
You may wipe clean my canvas face
For sadness is not a work of art;
Were my lips not meant to part again?
Perhaps I am simply a soul misplaced.

Four letters won’t define.
Four letters won’t defeat.
Even though they’re forever mine,
Even though they’re not discrete.

Four letters won’t defeat;
No longer are they chains.
Even though they’re not discrete,
I won’t let myself live this way.

No longer are they chains;
They cannot pull me down.
I won’t let myself live this way;
Refusing to sink, refusing to drown.

They cannot pull me down;
These letters, sips of ruined wine.
Refusing to sink, refusing to drown:
Four letters won’t define.

“This is not goodbye.”
I bite my tongue and close my eyes
So I don’t scare you, so I don’t cry;
I bow my head and pray.

I bite my tongue and close my eyes
The pain is hot as it rushes inside
I bow my head and pray;
The weight of missing you will pull me under.


The pain is hot as it rushes inside
I do not want the sun to rise;
The weight of missing you will pull me under,
But I know you’d never lie.

I do not want the sun to rise;
You can’t be gone, you must be mine
But I know you’d never lie:
“This is not goodbye.”

Looking back,
I wish I hadn’t yearned for this;
I gave all my Innocence
To unrelenting Reality.

I wish I hadn’t yearned for this;
I gave half my heart
To unrelenting Reality,
And now I’m left with memories.

I gave half my heart
Dangerously close to falling apart
And now I’m left with memories;
I wonder if I could’ve saved myself.

Dangerously close to falling apart;
Why wasn’t I warned at the start?
I wonder if I could’ve saved myself,
Looking back.

Like clockwork,
The transition begins again;
Crunchy colors cover the ground
As the second hand makes its way around

The transition begins again;
Lights go up and snowflakes fall
As the second hand makes its way around,
I'm only catching glimpses

Lights go up and snowflakes fall
But these miniscule miracles won’t last;
I'm only catching glimpses
And the sun is already setting.

But these miniscule miracles won’t last
The earth is spinning far too fast
And the sun is already setting…
Like clockwork.

Her name was Autumn
and she smelled like falling leaves
her only flaw
was that she decided to leave me
for a better life
'cause everyone knows
this town will take you under
like high tide
and I tried
to save us
but when you're drowning
you don't swim deeper

She pulled the ribbon
(gently, of course)
until it was perfectly centered
on the top of the plain brown box
and she placed it on his doorstep
(gently, of course)

She hid behind the trees
across the street
eyes peeking,
mind wandering;
where was he?

She waited
and watched
and waited
and watched
as people walked by
and packages were delivered;
but nobody took notice of
the small brown box
with the pretty ribbon
at the top

And she watched him
hug girls
that she knew didn't love him
and she watched him
kiss girls
that surely had sour lips
and she watched him
kick the little brown box
with the ribbon on top
to the side;
and she cried,
"please be gentle,
my heart is inside!"

But the boy didn't hear her
as she collapsed, broken
because the gift of her love
would never be opened.