I want you to show up at my house
on a clear summer evening
unexpectedly
with your truck
your beat up, half-full-of-gas truck
and I want you to tell me
you have a surprise for me.

So you'll blindfold me
and stick me in the passenger seat
and start playing some song on your ipod
that I don't recognize
but instantly fall in love with
and I want you to drive
for so long
that I question our whereabouts
and you'll say
"I told you, it's a surprise."

and then
at long last
you will help me out of your truck
(like the gentleman you are)
but you'll tell me to keep the blindfold on
for a few more minutes
while I hear your truck doors
open
and shut
and open
and shut
and you'll take off the blindfold
with a huge smile on your face
as you yell, "Surprise!"
with that goofy grin
(slightly lopsided - beautiful imperfection)
and i'll look to my right
and see your truck
in the middle of this field
this lonely, simple field
and in the bed of the truck
are blankets and pillows
and my face will light up
as I run over
and leap into the truck bed
and you will follow
and turn on more music
that I don't recognize
but instantly fall in love with

and the sun will set
and you will wrap me in a blanket
and then your arms
and I will use your chest as a pillow
(it was always comfier than the real thing, anyway)
and you will sing along
to the songs I don't know
but instantly fall in love with
and the sky will turn indigo
and the stars will appear
(though they never really left)
dotting the sky
like the freckles on your face
and we will watch them together
and trace constellations we can't pronounce
and you will play with my hair
and maybe i'll kiss you
and maybe you'll kiss me
and all will be quiet
except for the soft sound
of the music I do not recognize
but instantly fall in love with
kind of like the way
I fell in love with you.

i wish i hadn't been raised

the way i was

wish i would've been praised

instead of screamed at

or smacked



i wish the memories

weren't so painful

wish the pieces of me

weren't scattered

or that my heart wasn't torn and tattered



'cause maybe if i hadn't felt the pain so early

i wouldn't have thought it strange

that someone wanted to hold my hand, and surely

i would still be with you today.



and maybe it's true,

that i shoulda kissed you

and maybe it's true,

that i wish there was something i could do

and maybe it's true,

that i'm still in love with you,

all i know is that i miss you;

i really, really do.





i wish i could go back

to the moment i let you go

wish i could tell you that

i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry.



i wish i hadn't run away

from the thing i loved the most

wish i could hear you say

that i was beautiful, just one last time.

wish you were still mine.



'cause maybe if i had told you i was scared

because fear is all i've ever known,

you would have told me that you cared,

and that you'd never let me go.



and maybe it's true

that i should've kissed you

and maybe it's true

that i wish there was something i could do

and maybe it's true

that i'm still in love with you

all i know is that i miss you;

i really, really do.



every night when i lay down,

i swim in tears until i drown

because i did this to myself

i opened up this violent hell

and i can never go back

no, i can't go back



and maybe it's true

that i should've kissed you

and maybe it's true

that i've always been in love with you

but now there's nothing i can do

except miss you

i'm sorry that i have to miss you

because i left you

oh, i miss you.

there was a time when i was invincible

but sitting here today, i feel so cynical

getting out of this alive will be a miracle;

how did i end up this way?



I think i do remember now,

the who, the why, the when, the how;

all of these people let me down;

are you starting to catch on?



Don't grow up, it's all a lie

you'll get your wings, but you can't fly

and to the barren ground you're tied

left alone to sit and cry

'cause freedom is nothing but the freedom to choose

whether your drown your sorrow in tears or *****

and even when you win, you lose

life knocks the life right out of you.



On the side of the road on friday night

i'm feeling a little less than alright

hoping that maybe a flame will ignite;

why is everything so loud?



as i watch the cars zoom by,

i forget that there are people inside

speeding and driving and living their lives

seeing the world through a million new eyes



I'm not sure how I got this low

I'm not sure where I'm gonna go

I'm not sure if I'll ever know

why happiness decided to go.



Don't grow up, it's all a lie

you'll get your wings, but you can't fly

and to the barren ground you're tied

left alone to sit and cry

'cause freedom is nothing but the freedom to choose

whether you drown your sorrows in tears or *****

and even when you win, you lose

life knocks the life right out of you



So don't grow up, just stay right there

because life is rough and it doesn't care;

it'll tie you to your own tracks and leave you there,

to wallow in your own despair

and happiness will never share;

the bottom line is, life's not fair.

Picture frames outline bad memories

the pain is deeper than the eye can see

and i promised myself i wouldn't believe

that anything was wrong with me

but my world is spinning

and i'm trying to walk in a straight line

my eyes are open but i am blind

no, no, i'm not fine;

i've never been fine.



tossing and turning at three a.m.

thinking of how things were different back then

my stomach is twisting and i can't  pretend

that i am okay and this isn't the end

the room starts to shake and the walls start to bend

so i slowly close my eyes

and try not to cry

no, no, i'm not fine;

i've never been fine.



Shaking and crying on the bathroom floor

i cannot pretend anymore

it started at three and now it's four

my breathing is shallow and my stomach is sore

the pain and fear shoot through to my core

when it finally ends, i don't ask myself why

because now i do realize

no, no, i'm not fine;

i've never been fine.

All i want is for you to sing me to sleep

rock me back and forth ever so gently

like the waves of the deep blue sea



All i need is your peaceful lullaby

healing the wounds i have inside

taking me over like high tide



You be the water and i'll be the land

you be the ocean and i'll be the sand

we'll stay side by side year round

even when the waves come crashing down



All i need to hear is a guitar strum

my silly fears i'll overcome

and you will warm me like the island sun



All i want is a tiny spark

to continue the beating of my fragile heart

and protect it like a great white shark



You be the water and i'll be the land

you be the ocean and i'll be the sand

we'll stay side by side year round

even when the waves come crashing down



Can you sing me to sleep my dear?

your voice is all i need to hear

Can you sing me a sweet farewell?

I'll listen to you like I do the shells



You be the water and i'll be the land

you be the ocean and i'll be the sand

we'll stay side by side year round

even when the waves come crashing down



and when your loving melody

sends me out into the sea

do not try to rescue me

for that is where i want to be

Sometimes I travel

alone in my mind

in seach of an answer

a miracle find



I'll get lost in the canyons

the rocky terrain

and search for my answer

until I go insane



When I reach the old lighthouse

I always turn around

and stop searching for my answer

I walk back without a sound



As I enter the forest

that leads me back home

I thinking about my missing answer

and I feel so alone



Sometimes I come back

but today I think I won't

I thought I needed more time

but today I think I don't.

I'm curled up by the fire

it is so cold in December

I look through all of the pictures

'cause I want to remember



We're standing on the boardwalk

It was so hot in July

If you zoom in all the way

You can see the sparkle in my eye



His old Tshirt still smells like summer

and there's still sand in my bikini

his kiss was more powerful than thunder

I hope he still misses me



Now we're swimming in the ocean

on the 15th of July

you can barely see our faces

'cause the sun was just so bright



I'm so close to the fire

but he's so far away

I keep scrolling through the pictures

oh, I wish we could've stayed



His old Tshirt still smells like summer

and there's still sand in my bikini

his kiss was more powerful than thunder

I hope he still misses me



We're standing in the airport

on the 18th of July

and if you zoom in then and now

you'll see the tears in my eyes



'Cause his old Tshirt still smells like summer

and there's still sand in my bikini

his kiss was more powerful than thunder

I hope he still misses me

yeah, I hope he still misses me

I hope he still misses me.