I could have been a carpenter
With a callus on my hand
Or a marina worker
With my feet inside the sand
I could have been a historian
With glasses and a globe
But I’m just a lowly laborer
And my bones are getting old

I could have had a bank account
With lots cash and dough
Or a white picket fence
And I’d watch my green grass grow
I could have been successful
With sleep and no stress
But I chose dreams and passions
And still I feel I’m blessed

I could have never met you
With your big red sixties hair
Or could have never shared a night
In the starlight of your stare
I could have never known the truth
Lived my life a lie
But honesty has found me
Loving ‘til I die

I could have never realized
What a lucky lad I am
Or could have never battled
For what I believe in
I could have given up on it all
And laid down in defeat
But my love you do inspire
Me out onto the streets

I could have been a carpenter
With a hammer and a nail
I could have been a fireman
With a hard hat and a pale
I could have been lot of things
For there’s so much to be
But if I had to pick on one
I would pick on me

Today I saw an ad on the TV for the good life
$129.99 and all you ever wanted delivered to your door in a box
Shipping and handling included
The man in the commercial had a big smile on
And a golden retriever by his side
Were sitting under palm trees
Smoking cigars...

Who doesn't want a cigar smoking golden retriever?
So I called up the toll free number and demanded a good life...

One week later the box came in the mail
"There's no way a golden retriever could fit in there"
I thought to myself
"Not even a puppy retriever
These must be the cigars"

No cigars
Just pills

"Of course" thought I
"Eating these will take me away
To an alternate reality
With palm trees, smiles
And cigar smoking dogs
Duh"

So I ate the pill and closed my eyes
Awaiting lift off
Like I've done so
Many times before

One Mississippi
            Two Mississippi
                         Three, four, five Mississippi...

And you know what happened next?
My **** got hard for hours
That's it

Who's the sick SOB
Who's idea of a good life
Is an unexplainably long
Lasting *****?

I alerted the authorities
Called the FDA
They must have the answers...
They just told me to visit the nearest hospital
Everything will be fine...

From that point on
I have been lost inside
And refuse to go outside
I shut my windows
And I lock the door

I can't make sense of it...
Why would I need to visit the docs?
I'm not the one thinking
Long lasting ******
Equals the good life

****** don't make retrievers smoke cigars
I'm not the one with the problem

Am I?

Walking up to a wishing well
He dropped a coin and down it fell
Prayed to God: “Please come true”
God said back: “That wish won’t do”
Angry now he marched away
Cursing God and the world he made
Determined to grant his one wish
He lay down to catch a glimpse

Of a shooting star’s tail of fire
Known to fulfill nearly any desire

Fate had formed in his eyes
A comet burst out across the skies
He made a wish the same as before
Praying to heaven for a fateful cure
To bring money, power, fame
God just laughed and kept all the same
The man he cried and screamed distress
Blaming God for his loneliness

Who sang onto him: “Be content and free
Materials you seek they spur misery”

Still his anger swayed his mind
He renounced God and all of time
Sad and smitten he rolled over
Face to face with a four-leaf clover
“Finally” he said “my wish is true
This clover of fortune will surely do
He picked the plant by the root and stem
Wished for pleasure again and again

And overcome with confidence he threw that clover down
Cursing the dirt and the filth in the ground

He went on his way thinking all was grand
“I’ll be rich soon with lots of land”
Forgetting God and the stars above
Claiming himself the one true love
He went to sleep as fast as ever
And woke up feeling clever
He raced on down to the market place
Anticipating riches: gold and lace

But he never made it all that far
For on his way he was squished by a car

I would gladly eat anything you set before me
Devour any idea you cook inside your head
There's not much food because there's not much money
Yet I'm a rich man every night I bed
Because you're all mine and mine only
By a little lucky twist of fate
No, I will never ever be hungry
I will gladly eat from our chipped plate

You can buy chocolate, cigarettes, and whiskey
Cook it all up into a stew
Sure, my stomach might feel frisky
But it gets better anytime you say "I do"
Now you're all mine and mine only
See, I'm the fullest man alive
Everything you make is so wholly
I'll eat it all up until the day I die

We don't have credit but we have each other
What billions could never buy
Repeat to me "baby, I'm your lover"
And watch my worth rise
Because now you're all mine and mine only
I could never go hungry again
Our cupboards they might be empty
But our eyes are full until the end

The tension subsides
And the lady she rides
Around the mountain
She'll be coming
She'll be mounting

Wake up my heart
Aloof and apart
In every nerve ending
And feeling and bending

Smoke and the mirrors
Mahogany desk queers
Marching to the anthem
Rhyming in rhythm
A Cataclysm
In a pyramid prison

Rock on your lane
No speed bumps to blame
For that narrow slip I slid in
Is one in forty million

So thank no one except for everything and all
See the stacking stardust fall