The vicar's knickers look so fine
As they hang upon the line.
Flapping wildly in the breeze,
They're as sassy as you please.

They used to be a shade of grey,
But on the line, in the light of day,
They sparkle white as they hang about.
Even Mr. Clean would scream and shout.

People in the street stop and stare
As they admire the vicar's underwear.
Hanging there for all to see,
They seem to cry, "Look at me!"

The gathering crowd gives a sigh
When the vicar's knickers seem to fly
As they dance and twist upon the line,
Looking white and clean, and oh so fine.

Inside the house the vicar pleads,
"Dear wife, some underwear I need.
Without my  knickers I cannot say
My sermon in the church today."

The vicar's wife has had enough
Of viewing her husband in the buff,
As he searches for another pair
Of sparkling, clean, white underwear.

"I know where to find a pair!
They're on the line, those underwear,"
Says the vicar's wife with a grin.
"I'll just go out and fetch them in."

The poor man waits and says a prayer
And hopes she finds those underwear.
He really wants to finish dressing
And go to church and say the blessing.

She snatches them from off the line
Where they've hung and looked so fine.
The crowd watches her take them down,
Those knickers, the whitest in all the town.

They'll have to come another day
To gawk and watch those knickers play.
The vicar needs that elusive pair
Of sparkling, clean, white underwear.

The vicar's just as pleased as punch
Because he had a sneaking hunch
He'd never see that last clean pair,
And he'd have nothing else to wear.

Now he's dressed and ready for the day,
And he can go to church and kneel and pray
Because he's wearing a lovely pair
Of sparkling, clean, white underwear.

Fair Maiden is beautiful and blonde,
And of knights she is quite fond.
A Round Table groupie is she,
Seeking heroes where'er they may be.

Tall and striking with eyes so blue,
Dressed in a gown of a golden hue,
She dashes around the countryside
Hunting knights far and wide.

Searching the world for good deeds to do,
For a maiden to save or a dragon or two,
Those chivalrous men, so noble and true,
Are tired of that girl with her eyes so blue.

Fearless and daring are those armour clad men,
But they're tired of seeing her again and again.
They want her to leave, they want her to go,
That maiden who chases them to and fro.

To get her to quit, to stop her fixation,
To rid the country and the rest of the nation
Of that small, wee girl with her eyes so blue,
Those knights have a plan to bid her adieu.

They've taken a vote and decided, to a man,
To get rid of that blonde Round Table fan.
They'll tie her to a stake and offer her up
As a sacrifice to the dragon, Hiccup.

"He can have her," they rise up and shout,
"For breakfast he can munch on that gadabout.
That fire breathing dragon loves beautiful girls,
Especially ones with blue eyes and curls."

What murderous thoughts for such valiant men
To send that poor girl to the dragon's den.
But the knights have reached the end of their rope.
With Fair Maiden they can no longer cope.

They seized that maiden, that damsel so fair,
And rode with all speed to the dragon's lair.
Those tall, strong men with blades of steel
Were determined to give that monster a meal.

They tied the young woman to a sturdy stake
As she cried, "Don't go, you've made a mistake.
Come back," said she, "Don't leave me alone,"
And she uttered a cry and issued a moan.

As he heard the dragon give a terrible roar
One brave knight could stand it no more.
He raced to the lair on the back of his steed
To try and save her ere the beast could feed.

That fire breathing dragon, the one called Hiccup,
Could smell his dinner. It was time to sup.
Extending his head out of that cave,
He looked 'round and saw one lone knave.

The beast started huffing and puffing away
And blowing smoke to scare his prey.
The knight took one look and decided to run
Before he was cooked like an overdone bun.

"Sorry, Milady," he cried as he ran from the scene,
"I'm not very brave and that dragon is mean.
Chivalry is all well and good," said he,
"But not if it means the end of me!"

"Tut tut," said the maid, "Tut tut," said she,
"Chicken a la king, that's what I'll call thee!
You deserve to become that dragon's dinner,
Shame on you, you're no winner!"

Those knights of the realm, those stout hearted men,
Abandoned that lass to the beast in his den.
The lady screamed loud as the dragon drew near
And that brave knight so bold fled in fear.

"Even that lizard is better than you.
He's not a coward, I'll give him his due,"
Said that fair maid with her eyes so blue
All dressed in a gown of a golden hue.

Fair Maiden awaited with bated breath
For Hiccup to come and put her to death.
Tied to that pole she had no recourse
But to be that monster's main course.

A surprise was in store for our fair maid.
She had no reason to be so afraid,
That scaly beast was as gentle as a kitten
Because with the lass he was truly smitten.

That fire breathing dragon was very irate
To see Fair Maiden in such a cruel state.
He exploded with rage at her sorry plight
When he saw that rogue riding out of sight.

Throwing back his head and with a terrible cry,
He blew and he blew and let those flames fly.
That knight of the realm, riding so fast,
Was scorched by the awful power of that blast.

"There," said Hiccup, "take that you knave.
Shame on you.  What a way to behave.
You shouldn't abuse beautiful girls,
Especially ones with blue eyes and curls."

Turning around on the tip of his tail
And holding his breath so he wouldn't exhale,
He freed that poor maid who was tied so tight,
The one they had left for his supper that night.

"Thank you, kind sir," said the beautiful miss
As she stood on tiptoes and gave him a kiss.
"You're welcome," said Hiccup standing up tall,
And he blushed a bright red, "It was nothing at all."

"I think you're sweet, I think you're swell,"
The dragon declared to the modest young belle.
"To keep you safe from those faint hearted men,
I would like you to stay in my humble den."

"You're very gallant, Mr. Dragon," said she.
"You're chivalrous and kind and I like thee.
To give you a hand and your kindness repay
I will live in your cave for a year and a day."

"During that time I'll keep your den clean
And make it sparkle with a glistening sheen,"
Said the maid as she looked with trepidation
At the messy state of the dragon's habitation.

"Looking after me will be quite a job,"
Said the beast.  "I've become such a slob.
But I'll try to reform my slovenly ways,
The ones I learned in my bachelor days."

So the two lived together in the monster's den,
Just the fire breathing dragon and the fair maiden.
She kept his home tidy during the whole of her stay,
But soon came the end of that year and a day.

A Round Table groupie was the maiden so fair,
But now she fancies that dragon in his lair.
Instead of harassing those knights of the Round,
She's decided that dragons are nice to be around.

That monster doesn't need a groupie or a fan.
He's decided he liked his life as a bachelor 'man'.
He thought she's be sweet, but instead she's a pain,
And his love which was strong, is now on the wane.

He's tired of her nagging and her bossy attitude,
And she calls him silly names like sweetie and dude.
He's anxious to be rid of that girl with eyes so blue,
The one that's dressed in a gown of a golden hue.

The poor dragon's desperate to have her depart
Because now he's sure she's a cheap little ****.
He wants her to leave, he wants her to go,
That maiden who chases him to and fro.

Now he knows why those knights, to a man,
Took a vote to get rid of that Round Table fan.
That maiden who followed them here and there
Was more than those armour clad men could bear.

He thinks and he thinks and comes up with a plan,
Something he should have done when all this began.
"I'll just have to dine," said the dragon, Hiccup,
"To get rid of that vexing maid, I'll eat her up!"

The moral of this story is quite plain to see.
When you spot a knight, don't stop, just flee,
And be careful of dragons who offer you a deal
Because sooner or later you'll end up a meal!

I'm scared, said the earth to the moon,
I think I'm going to die very soon.
There's a constant haze in my blue sky
And that's what happens before you die.

The air has become so stale
That it's difficult to inhale.
The pollution makes it heavy and thick
And I'm beginning to feel quite sick.

They're razing the forests, hundreds a day,
And the rivers and seas are full of decay.
How can they expect their children to endure
When they've sentenced me to a death so premature.

Suffocation is imminent, I'm afraid,
The oxygen supply is going to fade
Without the trees to replenish the air.
My demise is certain, does no one care?

How sad.  Never again to feel the breeze,
Or watch the rain, or touch the cool seas,
Or smell a flower, or welcome a new spring,
Or see a green field, or hear a human being.

The grass is so green
Down in the meadow
Beside the glistening stream

A cowbell rings
Tolling for lovers
Beside the sparkling water.

Our fingers touch and
A shock jolts our bodies
As we tremble with passion.

The air is hot and still.
Nature's sounds are magnified
As we reach for each other.

Fumbling with our clothes
We caress one another
With hot lips and sweet kisses.

The fragrance of crushed grass
Mingles with the scent of wild roses
As the sun heats our  naked flesh.

Lying together on our blanket,
We make love with an urgency
That takes our breath away.

Afterwards, we lay side by side,
Holding hands, touching
And whispering our love.

That romantic summer's day,
Filled with joy and delight,
And so many years ago.

Hey!  Open these pearly gates wide.
There's someone waiting outside.
Don't just stand there, I want to come in.
Don't keep me out, I committed no sin.

****** I've not done, nor cheat, nor rob,
Maybe just a little pilfering on the job.
Once in a while I did a good deed,
A little insurance in case of need!

I never beat my children or my wife.
Of course, I didn't spend that much of my life
Being a father or a husband because
I was much too busy, but I broke no laws.

I think that I can safely say
That I did little for which I must pay.
I've lived my life as I saw fit,
Getting by on my charm and wit.

On occasion, I took the Lord's name in vain,
But only when I was really in pain.
Littering was something I did not do,
Nor spit on the sidewalk, nor tobacco did I chew.

I can't understand why you're keeping me out.  
Down on earth I had a lot of clout.
To the person in charge, I want to say,
You'll be sorry if you don't let me in today.

I am sure that behind these portals I belong
Because, as you can see, I did no real wrong.
So lift the latch and open these gates,
Let this soul enter and see what awaits.

A parson's wife I never thought I'd be,
Attending bazaars, pouring tea.
Not my style, woe is me.

One day Art awoke and said to me,
A minister I plan to be,
How good am I, follow me!

Oh God, I said, don't do this to me.
What did I ever do to thee?
I don't want this, why me?

God, surely you don't want me.
I'm going to fight, can't you see.
It's Art who's seen the light, not me.

Young and innocent I went.
To my fate I was sent,
On this adventure Art was bent.

Studying and learning, Art did work,
And in the background I did lurk.
Like a puppet I did ****.

Raise six kids, scrimp and save,
Go to church, feel like a slave.
Don't rock the boat, here comes a wave!

Break the mold, do your own thing,
Said my conscience, on the wing.
Be yourself, fly and sing.

Belly dancing I took, to Art's delight.
A rebel in a bra, that was my fight!
I'd go but I'd kick and scratch and bite.

Stereotyped I would never be.
A woman should be free
To be herself, like you and me.

Now I'm happy, I've found my life.
Here amongst the calm and strife,
I'm a parson's wife.

I want to thank you for your sacrifice.
I know it was not made without a price.
You were so young, yet wise enough
To put your baby's needs before yourself.

Your baby daughter needed a place
In which to grow with love and grace,
So you listened to your inner voice
And, as hard as it was, you made a choice.

You wanted the best for your little one,
That child whose life had just begun,
So you said goodbye and gave her a kiss
And then gave up your sweet little Chris.

Each Christmas, each birthday that passed
Brought fresh sorrow from the past,
But your memories were left unsaid
As you tried to stop the tears you shed.

That precious child, right from the start,
Smiled her smile and chaptured  my heart.
Her big, brown eyes stared into my face
As I held  her close in a tight embrace.

The love that I felt on that special day
Was greater than I can ever say,
And the connection we made, she and I,
Is one that we'll share till the day we die.

She's grown up now with her future ahead,
And very soon, she and Jack will be wed.
We'll watch with pride as she walks down the aisle
And see our love reflected in her smile.

Thoughtful, loving, caring and kind
Describes that daughter of yours and mine,
So I thank you again for the choice you made,
For taking a chance and not being afraid.

My soul doth fly.
On the wind it glides,
Dipping and diving and soaring
On the crest of life's storm.

My soul doth fly.
Its chains are broken at long last
And like an eagle my soul
Soars on the wings of clouds.

My soul doth fly.
It screams and shouts its freedom
From the heights of joy and sorrow
To the heart of the fires of love.

My soul doth fly.
But what is this?
A silver thread tying me
To my dearest love.

My soul doth fly.
It knows no earthly bonds but one.
I cannot break it
Nor do I wish to try.

My soul is like a kite,
Tied by its string to my true love's heart,
And with this last connection,
My soul doth fly, my soul doth fly.

I knew a girl when I was eight
Who was my friend and classmate.
Every day we walked to school
And teased the boys and tried to act cool.

She had a sister and brother
Who stayed at home with their mother.
Each morning as we would go
They'd wave goodbye from their window.

One day while sitting in class
We heard the fire engines pass.
They stopped and we knew it was near,
But never dreamed we had anything to fear.

At noon we left the classroom
And started home with a feeling of gloom.
I'd always been afraid of fire,
And now I was trembling and starting to perspire.

In the distance we saw the smoke,
Then I heard my friend gasp and choke.
She looked stunned and in a daze.
It was her home that was ablaze.

We stopped in the road and stared,
Not saying a word, we were too scared.
The house was burned to the ground,
Everything gone, only ashes could be found.

My friend started to scream,
But I just stood there as if in a dream.
Frozen in the middle of the street,
In shock I couldn't even move my feet.

The last time I saw my friend was that day
When the neighbours came and took her away.
I often wonder just where she went
After we witnessed that terrible event.

Under the shade of the tall, old tree,
We played together, just dolly and me.
We sipped our tea with cookies arranged
While all around us a storm raged.

So peaceful and quiet under that fir,
As it kept me safe and away from her.
In the eye of that storm under our tree,
We played together, just dolly and me.

Thunder and lightening shook the ground,
While under our tree we stayed safe and sound.
Eating our cookies and drinking our tea,
We played together, just dolly and me.

My sweet daughter.
Strong, but not strong enough
To withstand his
Bullying and his beatings.

     That Monster

Made her feel worthless
And useless and weak
As he did  his best to use
And abuse her.

     That Monster

Full of drink and drugs
Cracked her ribs, blackened her eye,
Locked her in a closet,
And insidiously isolated her.

     That Monster

Did  not win in the end.
One special day,
Empowered by extraordinary courage,
She called the police and had him arrested.

     That Monster

Can't beat her any more.
The healing of her body is done,
But the healing of her soul
Will take many years.

Stay strong, my sweet girl.

He comes in the night, stalking his prey.
Like a shadow he slips down the hallway.
No one is home, no one is about,
No one to care or hear her shout.

He says that he loves her, he says that he cares,
But she doesn't believe all that he swears.
So he beats and threatens and uses his wiles
As this poor, innocent child he defiles.

He uses and abuses her as much as he dares,
And there's no one to hear, no one to care.
A victim so young, she's learned to be quiet,
Too scared to speak, she tries to deny it.

How does she cope, how does she survive?
Each day she forgets that she's really alive.
Day after day she pushes it aside.
Forgetting is easy, it helps her to hide.

Now she is grown and knows she was so brave
To put up with that monster and all that he gave.
She knows who he is and, someday, she'll tell,
And put him away, that monster from hell.

The light of a child, that beacon so bright,
Sniffed for a time in the dead of night.
But now she remembers and the light shines 'round,
Innocence lost becomes innocence found.

O to live by the ocean shore,
To smell the salt and hear the roar.
A plume of froth adorns her hair,
O Lady fair, O Lady fair.

With gown of blue and cap of white,
She dances in the pale moonlight.
Her slippers shimmer in the cold night air,
O Lady fair, O Lady fair.

It's time to rest and go to sleep,
To still the dance upon the deep.
The calm has come and I declare,
O Lady fair, O Lady fair.

Sometimes, I live inside my head,
Using my imagination as I escape
Into a world without dread,
But filled with love instead.

There are no tears where I dream,
No loneliness, no sadness, just a peace
That is not present as I scream
For my release from life's stream.

At times, I think the true reality
Is in my head, and the world
In which I live is but a scary
Nightmare from which I must flee.