sharp things
not knives or blades or razors

words
and actions
lies
whispered or shouted
hands slapping
or letting go
"you're not enough"
that text message
someone coming in first
taking priority
a hand clenching into a fist
or not touching at all
a missing good morning text
someone taking my place
"i don't need you"
silence when words are needed
loneliness
abandonment
being forgotten

these are sharp things indeed

the ache of goodbye
does it ever truly leave?
like a paper cut that won't heal properly
itchy and red and sore
and always distracting me
just a little
i've bandaged this wound
over and over again
but it won't go away
it won't close up and i'm afraid
that i'll have to live with your ghost
forever

i feel i'm too big for my skin
like i'm about to burst through
shred it to pieces
and leave it behind me
i'll float away
maybe somewhere nice
where no one has to be around me
and i can stop feeling
so confined and trapped by all
the blackness in my mind

this is a life and death situation
this means war
you drew your lines and then crossed them
now allow me to lead the charge
up to your front lines
because i need answers for what you've done
swinging swords and shooting arrows
and sometimes
i think that they actually hit their mark
this shield is battered
it doesn't always protect me
but sometimes it does the trick
i may be lonely
but i'm not alone
i have time on my side
age and wisdom
i am patient and will lie in wait
as i create a strategy
a flawless plan that will do the most damage to your defenses
and there's an angel at my back  who will guide my aim
traitorous as you are
you deserve no less than to feel my wrath
hot against your neck
as i take my revenge for the way you've changed me
and the irreparable damage you've done

i miss you i miss you i miss you
the words are bitter on my lips
they taste like anguish
heartbreak deception betrayal
so easy for you
careless as you were with my heart
(it's not enough)
i can't help that there's a canyon
at least five hundred miles wide
where your name used to be
i can't rid myself of you
or what i thought was love
it is the shadow beneath my eyes
and the hollow at my throat
the quickening pulse at my wrist
and the blade along my thigh
(laughable)
looking back now
i want to laugh
but it catches in my throat
because i remember the sweet ache
i felt when
i held you kissed you touched you
my fingers curl and flex
itching to wrap around something
anything
(a knife a bottle a throat)
that could possibly dull this sharpness
it's pushing between my ribs
like a slow knife to the heart
every time i think i am
done with you
i fall into that canyon again
and am lost to myself

i am terrible and great
like the gods who rule
the seas
the skies
the dirt you walk upon
my power knows no bounds
i am limitless
and infinite
and one day you will realize
with shaking knees
and crumbling confidence
tha ti am the one in control
i, alone,
hold all the power
do not turn your face away
look at me
look at me
look here
see my strength
it is no thanks to you
it is my strength
mine alone
and thus, you see,
i am terrible and great
and you do not own me

i felt your fingers
against my calf muscle
they twitched just so
when you laughed
as if you wanted to reassure me
to make sure i knew
you wouldn't pull away
even as you rolled onto your back
with your eyes closed
and laughter on your lips
your hand remained
linking you to me
in a tangible physical way
a mimic of the link we share
from deep inside our subconscious
there it remained
resting against the muscle on my leg
as we discussed life and love
and all the ******* that entails
and laughed at our follies while we
mourned giving of ourselves
to those who were less than deserving
binding each other's wounds
with mutual understanding and
compassion
your hand kept me warm
the slight touch
caused my heart to glow like
so many candles and bonfires in a
cool summer night
thank you for that reminder
that i won't be left behind