The breeze greeted my face,
Though I rather it be him,
With a gentle touch.

He left me alone
Without a proper goodbye
Left me all alone.

A memory played
In my aching shattered heart
This memory played:

“I mustn’t do this”
But his body replied “Yes”
And we shared a kiss.

My hands on his face
And his on mine. We lost track
Of time as we kissed.

“I mustn’t do this”
But his heart and soul
Replied differently.

His shirt laid on the
Floor. Mine came right after his.
On the bed we kissed.

My fingers traveled,
His fingers traveled also.
Locking together.

Night fell upon us,
And we danced the night away.
Tangling the sheets.

Many days we spent
Holding onto each other.
During the summer.

Many nights we spent,
Finding places that sent chills
Throughout our bodies.

“I love you” He said
On that starry summer night.
“I love you” but then

He left me alone.
Without a proper good bye
Left me all alone.

Why? Was he afraid?
Afraid of what this could mean?
Afraid of this love?

His whispered words still
Linger inside my scarred soul.
Words that hurt my heart.

A blaze burning up
Any oxygen in me,
Taking it from me

Sadness replaces
All that was inside of me
Replaces him

Every memory
Every thought of him
Was fed to fire

I am left shattered,
With nothing besides what was
And what could have been.

He left me, left me
Without a proper goodbye
Left me all alone.

Its been on my mind since dawn
Taking me down roads I've gone before
I can't seem to break your ice
And I begin to realize
You might not warm against my fire
Even if I burned it brighter
But that wont keep me trying
To be the one that you rely on
I just want to stay right here with you
And your loving arms
they hold me so tight,
hold me so tight
Make me forget all of my blues
Be my shining star
Guide me through the night,
guide me through the night

Unlike what I was
I am a thing of understanding
changing into this shape
and many others before
only to look back
       and laugh
everything is temporary
outside of yourself

ill
    at
        the
             thought
of
   her
        head
                 in
                     the
                          spot
where
           mine
                    ought
                               to
                                   be
but
      is
         not
                 -

I don't know why I like the floor so much,
Maybe it's because you taught me that
This is where I belonged,
And where I was the most productive,
As though pleasuring you from my knees
Was any indicator of my worth.
But I have discovered many things
From this vantage point.
I have noticed a crack in the floorboard
Beneath which I hid every love letter
You ever tucked into my mailbox,
I have discovered a locked box
Hidden beneath my bed
And I don't know what's inside it
But it shakes and rattles and screams
Every night around two am,
So I'm afraid to open it,
I have found a marble under my dresser,
One of those clear ones
With something colorful inside,
But it looks more like blood and tissue
Than anything, in my opinion,
I have also came upon a spot
In which the floor does not creak,
And it always seems to be cold,
A perfect place to rest my cheek.
But the last thing I uncovered
Was a skeleton in my closet,
Folded and tucked into the corner,
As though it didn't want to be found,
So I found the strength,
To lift myself to my knees
(It was always a powerful position)
And I pulled the skeleton out,
And despite its efforts to clamp its bony fingers
To my wrist and never let me go
I threw it in the dumpster,
And rediscovered home.

I don't know what it is
about bringing god into the most intimate times of your life,
but I couldn't ignore the bible that was spread open
on your nightstand that night.
During the space between
whenever you rolled off of me
and rolled back on,
I was granted time to think about how I ended up
in this dreadfully exposed position
(literally, you told me not to put my clothes back on).
So I thought about how I had convinced myself
that you were as religious as you claimed to be,
and that this would be nothing more than
a simple movie date with a little cuddling.
But whenever you removed your arm from around me
and stood from the couch beside me,
I knew this was going to be far from it.
So I crawled into bed beside you
and felt your hands search my body in the dark
as though you were in a temple on a quest to find a golden cross.
And you found it,
radiating warmth between two stone pillars
that you couldn't resist digging your nails into.
And soon enough,
the walls came crumbling down
and you begged me not to make a sound
as you sank your teeth into my neck
as though you were taking a bite of the forbidden fruit
for the very first time.
And I must have tasted sweet
because your tongue shortly followed
to lap up all the salty juices.
But you were determined to tear the temple down
because you knew how sacrilegious it would be to leave it standing,
so you asserted your strength to the already crumbling pillars
and walls and heard and watched them fall around you
in all their holy glory.
But it wasn't until I was lying beneath you
in a pile of dust
that the bible beside me spoke.
The pages parted like the red sea
and the letters lept from the page like the egyptians
and I was shaking as though Moses himself
was standing before me.
But you didn't notice when you returned,
because your goal wasn't to build the temple walls.
So you climbed back on top of me,
rolled over,
and went to sleep.