my text tone sounds
goes off
like the pistol at a race and i’m off
analyzing, calculating, extrapolating
running lap after lap
around the track of anxiety in my brain
until i trip
right before the finish line
down the rabbit hole of insecurities i’ve created for myself
because this text wasn’t just a normal invitation
that would be bad enough
but no, it’s summer, this is expected
pool parties
but how am I supposed to swim
when I’ve only just mastered treading water?