it was the 24th of may when i first saw you
9.30 pm a bit chilly outside
i could hear the music playing so loud
as i walked in
suddenly i saw you infront of the door
as our eyes met eachother
i had a sudden feeling;
like knives cutting my stomach and lungs and
my heart
i swear to god i lost myself in that second
and when you hugged me
it was the best feeling in the world
suddenly the coldness was gone
you were there right beside me
and i could feel your warmth
your smell
for the first time
and i think those two minutes we had together
will be the best memory of us

i know the truth i know what's going on
everything is simple and i know
we're not meant to be together
when you said that you loved the smell of my hair
or the way you looked right into my eyes
while i was talking to someone else
and the time when you told me about your dreams
i know those were actually nothing
i always knew these
and tried to keep away from the truth
just fooled myself
i don't know why i stabbed the knife
deeper into my heart when it was already
half way inside
that doesn't make sense at all
why would anybody want to hurt themselves
when they're already cut into small pieces?
it never made sense to me...
but i had already fell for you and hit the ground hard
and when i fell down
deep inside my heart
i always wished that
maybe things
could get
repaired..?
and one day you'd give me a chance
prove that distance could never come between us
but insted
you taught me that it was easy to not care
i feel like things don't make sense in these days
it has been 6 months and i haven't seen your face
is it really that easy to forget about someone?
i'm trying to figure that out
i hope i can find my answers
and sew my deepest cuts

the thin glass
between us
the shade that chases you
all the time
and me
i still can't fall asleep
thinking about you
and what we could have been

when i say that i mean something it's because i really - i really do tell it from my heart when i say that it's true i really do think it is and whenever i think about it my heart crumbles and the salty tears burn my eyes i want to scream from deep inside my lungs i want to let the monster outside that has been controlling my mind and then i know - i know that you don't believe me and you just think that i'm talking and my words are just meaningless it really breaks my heart everytime you say what i'm saying isn't true but it really is i don't know how to make you believe it but it really is please believe me when i say something because i mean it

distance was only a small thing
but then came the feelings
and our trust
that the miles broke in

it takes seconds for me to make a decision
i barely think about the consequences anymore
and i end up with hating myself

sometimes i'm full of cherish and joy
and sometimes i just yell at people
i'm mad or sad or something that i don't know

it takes seconds after me to realize
that i hurt everyone but mostly myself
and i don't know what's wrong

i just can't control my feelings
everything changes and i find myself lost
in somewhere i don't know

all of these takes seconds for me
only a few seconds
to ruin everything

who knew
maybe you were the rain
and i was the soil
our words could be the pretty flowers
that bloomed early in the spring
but you never gave a chance
a chance to spring
to bloom it's lovely flowers
and let the joy in

i believe you said your last goodbye
and you finally left my mind
fossils are ready to be found
but i guess you're no longer inside
i have stoped writing about you
no more poems
or cravings left too
i had never felt this empty before
not loving you
turned me into a fool
at some point i knew that things
had to change
it could no longer be this way
but i have forgoten the taste of love
and i no longer believe in it
you were the toughest love
and so difficult to find

everything seems to be changing
time after time
our broken pieces mend up
or we get more tinier
each day by day
but i'm still empty
and my unconsciousness is leading me
to a path where i'm losing my way
each day by day
i wonder
where will this go
will it hurt me anymore
and then life pats me on my shoulder
saying it will be okay
no stop lying
i know it's not
nothing in this life is easy
and we have to accept the truth sometimes
or we end up lying at ourselves
and being the one to cry
each day by day
i'm learning lessons
no1: don't trust anyone other than yourself
and i've made my limits between people
fought with many mad faces
but this is the truth
i'm all alone after all
and unwanted
in this world
and i know
i know
i
know
i am unwanted
by everyone
and the world