Submerged in the sea water I feel safe again,
I am at home. The current pushes and tugs,
kisses from Poseidon, like a tender cub I curl up,
fetal and protected.

How dare the winter chill keep me from you,
I see you inch closer begging for my return.
Bleeding I ache for embraces, indescribable.

Until we meet again I will stand over you,
graceful dancing water.

Roll off my tongue like venom,
Awkward shapes whenever I see them,
Smiling yet heartless, cold and plain,
A boring shape, horribly lame.
Stems and petals not even pretty,
You're nothing special, cold hands so fitting,
Dull brown hair dressed up like me,
I despise your cheeks, legs, eyes, everything.



Said from a flower, broken and dead,
Sometimes I wish he had kept me instead.

Tender tender is the song,
singing from ice cold beauty.
My bones break and my insides burst,
Vomiting, oh the vertigo from moving.

Bleeding fingers, the finer things.
I struggle to grasp the last note,
but it slips on the the blood.

Oh  I am fortunes fool,
for the first jersey wasn't right,
what first was so comfy,
kept me awake at night.

Since then was Summer,
with some jersey-less days,
too hot, too bulky,
I'll justify in all kinds of ways.

But Winter's chill has returned,
oh I am fortunes fool, defeat,
I've never met a jersey,
that smelled so sweet.

Lashings of furious flames stab the dark night in anger and passion, a complete release of fury upon the tarnished world. Slashing and scarring and shredding a cool night's air apart. The tyrannic and evil nature of the fiery beast made even the bravest of souls cower in fear. The overwhelming power and exhausting, selfish, pure rage of the beast now evident in the unforgiving whips of scarlet that burnt the rickety wooden structure to the ground. No reason or rational thought, just pure power and loss of control.

However elaborate the fantasy may be, it is unsatisfying and leaves a bitter taste. I open my eyes to a silent space tinted a calm blue by the night. I gaze briefly upon the unattended wooden structure, turn, and leave. As I walk away I pretend the crunch of my footsteps on the frosty grass are the embers of the destroyed structure crackling as they die away.

The dark standing on my shoulders and chest,
the walls whisper
as they creep closer
as I move forward to get away
as they creep closer
as they
in, in, in

the path swivels, I am blind
I crawl on my knees for the comfort of solid ground
and when I feel the end I scream
there are hornets in my hair .

As blue turns to a blending of colours,
I grow hungry to hold her again,
and in the security of midnight blue,
I treasure the moment I am able to summon her presence

Caressing her beauty I mould her,
adding extra fingers, arms, curves,
unbelievability turned magic,
enchanted I lose myself, unconscious.

She gives me unicorn kisses,
and twinkles like the eyes of god,
loving me, she loves me,
she loved and I love and love is everywhere now.

but from the blending of scarlets, violets, roses,
back to bold, burdensome, blamed blue,
she slipped through my shivering solitary fingers,
escaped from under my sheets and is forgotten in the cold.

Her body not ever to be realised,
still I bring her out each night to bring warmth,
to be held in the delicate moments of dusk.

Click click you walk past,
as my eyes stab you,
my mouth burns you,
I contort, I spasm at my hatred.

But click click you walk past,
oblivious and arrogant,
to the cold weather outside,
to the silence in the room.

Without a word you've said everything.
It is me with a wound at my throat,
blood seeping out and down over my breast.

The poison of Dylan and Eric,
infectious and somewhat unreal,
perhaps the poison I have of theirs tasted,
is not from their mouth but their heart.

I feel the weight of the wave fall upon me,
their end is the bloom of a daisy,
not smiling, but a release ripping them apart,
my womb wishes to comfort them.

And at once I am quiet, exhausted,
ready to sail and walk among clouds,
only to feel the earth beneath me,
occupied I leave and choose to be Leila.

Goodnight moon, I am done.
Finished with forgotten moments.
Like eels my worries swim inside me,
make me ***** make me ill.
Bitter at the rain and wind and sun,
My lungs ache for a kiss not black.
I will freeze for the moment of a cure,
*Quand je changer les saisons si elle le veut.

Beyond the haze you entice,
draw me near as you peek around corners,
soft and still.

Your absence and blemishes,
make your absences,
make my heart yearn,
illusive and mysterious,
can I come closer?

What a fantasy,
to think of you balanced between my hips,
she understands,
their pain.

Thats why she is there,
glowing effeminately,
and while you're not looking,
she's gone.

Black boots on hard grey,
as you walk towards me,
and I think will it be,
the same when we're forty,

I'll sit opposite you,
table's always turning,
as you complain of your skin itching,
for fresh air I'm yearning,

your tooth aches,
the floor is cold,
working all day
thats the line we're sold,
broke up with him,
because he was too sad,
really I know you don't care
but you say you feel bad,

the world is spinning!
my eyes closed and glass cupped
flat lined you'd see the problem,
is really that you talk way too much.

The paradox,
a moment of strength now my only weakness and regret,
the memory of that cold night a source of warmth.

It was a source of warmth until love's chill took hold
brutally gripping my ribs
freezing my insides
I'm tired
I'm cold.

And yet the end is no surprise,
I should've felt the miles of empty space around me,
it whispers: *how could you not know?

take me back to your car,
away in the night but not far
from the city lights we share

I overheard the way you move
spasms, heart throbbing, yet soothed
by your lack of taste buds

I am not yet moved
yet moved all the more
**** me in the backseat
its not against the law

If you'd destroy me, I'd let you.

I do wish I remember,
the way you walked,
though I only must look at the eldest,
and I see you,

I wish it was me to bare the pain,
a lost father never to be seen again,
give my life purpose and show me how,
is my life the silver lining or the dark cloud?

- for Neil Wallis, with love

Burn and burn and heat to die,
majestic and unforgiving the fiery sky,
dive streak bow shriek,
for shade and salvation is not for the weak.

Her naked searing flesh on bone,
revealed the strength she hadn't to moan,
from most baron of deserts and into the sea,
she died from shock and ceased to be.

Anyone know how to get this buzz out of my head?
to hear it scratch at my eyelids,
ensures a not-so-blissful night's slumber.
Like begging for the tide to stop turning,
I try and bathe, rest,
in confession I implode a wet ball of wool
which wets my bed, bashfully.

*Everything would be better if everything were,
just for a moment,
still.

Held by snow air
I kiss my knees
and thank them for their strength
for not buckling
or mocking my naked body
which lies among chalk
running from my skin.

Her life is my nightmare,
tears pouring from heaven for her,

she, I see is cold and tired and scared,
in the mornings she is chained to her bed,

the snow infecting her womb,
now, old, futile and meaningless,

and yet when I reach out to touch her,
I feel a cold screen,

if I could only wake her,
requiem for a dream.

Is it true that a cage has four walls?
mine seems to stand with many more,
like a maze which a sweet breeze
sometimes dances through.

Swaying petals guide me through darkness,
down a hall and down another,
towards light seeping,
through a hole in the tough exterior.

As they slink through I crouch to peer at the light,
but am blinded, dazzled,
instinct overrides and I need to leave,
but I am unsure if the light is golden from heaven or the fires of hell.

A white mist drifts over the space thats spare,
a cold sheet, no the cold sheet,
part of it anyways.

It's a dark view in this room,
memories float like ghosts passed,
but they don't pass through me anymore,
although sometimes they linger.

Dearest space my sincerest apologies,
I wish I could've brought you more warm memories,
but the warmth of a good memory fade,
now nothing more than a cold shiver when they wash over me.

I didn't have the chance? No, the opportunity?
No.
I didn't have the courage.
Good is no longer good enough.

You're right,
something in the air,
in the water,
the earth,
hell fire.

Didn't you hear me say?
I've always wanted to be a loser.

Its seems the rings that bend round my skin,
are holding the cold in,
a message from the strings,
oh I could tell you a thousand things.

Fat fleshy fingers,
Palpable prose,
Liquorice for hair,
Button for a nose,

Milky teeth,
Muscly tongue,
Wet *****,
but only one.

I am a cow,
I am a pig,
If it weren't for my blood
I would be a twig

Please cut me up,
or swallow me whole,
Do for me what I can't do
now I'm old

Forget that I'm in here
forget me all
I'm not really in here
empty glass bowl