i am tired of being tired.
i am tired of being.

these dreams can never be realized.
these emotions will crash and burn.
these thoughts drive me insane.

i am tired of imagining
better days,
better years,
better lifetimes.
i am tired of imagining
worlds not at war.

i am tired of my mind whirling
and rushing and breaking
over and over and over -

"let me go."
"never."

i am tired of being tired.
i am tired of being.

here's what i remember:
fighting over whose laugh was better
(yours, no matter what you say);
pounding our feet on the dance floor
like we could shake our worlds;
loving you so much that my teeth ached
at the very thought of you.

my friend says i only remember the good,
reminds me of tears and heartbreak.
i tell her memory is fickle,
just like you.

i love you in sixteen ways:
one for each year of my life.

don't fear me fading.
with every breath that passes,
i'll just love you more.

numbers pounding into my head,
equations holding the universe
black and white before me

yet there's no variable,
no function to solve
that tells me the secret
of your love