Today I am jealous.
Today I am sad.
Today I am brown.

There's an itch on my wrist
That I refuse to scratch.

I will stare at my wrist and I will say
"You will not win this."

I left the only person whom I have loved
and who has loved me in return
to come back to you.

I ruined that relationship

for you.

And you treat me like I'm crazy.
Like I'm some wounded dog,
or some child who makes
a big fuss over a broken toy.

You broke me.

And you keep breaking me.

I just want to heal.

I want to love.

I want to be loved.

I don't want to lose anymore people I care about because of you.

My life is my own.

Stop throwing **** at me.

If you don't care, let me go.

Let me go,

so I can stop hurting the people I love

because I loved you
but you dropped me and watched me shatter on the ground
and left me there

And I love him.
And he can't even look at me.

He can't even speak to me because
I let you toss me around
me, a china doll, not whole again.

When will you drop me next?
What happens then, to something already broken?

I smile more.
I laugh heartily.
I kiss and love.
I don't obsess.
I don't harm.
I am fit.
Physically.
Mentally.
Emotionally.

I read.
I play.
I drive.
I am free.
I am Marshall.
And by God,
*This feels good.