Its nice to have friends
especially those that
support you

but its sometimes hard
when you have someone telling
you
that


they are bad influences
they are bad people


or

i dont know them
i have to meet them


Its so tiring that sometimes
i dont want friends because of
how hard it is to
keep them

Body
Tired to walk
Collapse at any
Moment

Nose
Red from irritation
A cascade of badness
Coming out of
It

It will hopefully
End soon

But your body
Will still be
Weak

From fighting
Itself and Invaders

pulling hairs
not sleeping
red eyes
caffeine
multitasking
scream at everyone

I see you
standing there
expecting me
to do something
to impress you

like danceing
on the edge
of the balcony
or in some way
try to seem like I want you

but I could
care less
of what you think of me

of a preety girl
hiding in plane sight
that you would rather
somehow save
and take to bed

but I'm not her
I would rather
fall off the balcony
than be with you

we revolve around each other
wait for a stike
or a kiss

either way we are always
on edge
waiting for the others
touch

either  way
we are both dangerous creatures
controlling the light and the darkness of the world

and can never be
truly together
except for once
every half year

for only a second
before we
return to our
proper place

Tom walked to the door slowly, his heart heavy and his mind hesitant. He knew who would be there, and he knew why. For fifteen years she had been stopping by his apartment, and every time the enjoyed their evening together. Today, though, was different. Today, he would go back to the part of his mind where she would only exist as a happy memory. Tom was acting. He would move on. He would let go.
     Tom approached the door. He heard the familiar knocking. The knocking that no one could hear but him. At the same time, another knocking that no one could hear was getting louder in Tom's ears. The knocking of Tom's  broken heart, echoing the knocking on the door, the door Tom stood before now. He grasped the ****. The doorknob was oddly cold to Tom's hand; ordinarily Tom would explain to anyone listening that the doorknob was exactly the same as always, and that it only felt cold because Tom's hands were hot and sweaty, but now Tom only stared out the doorknob and took a deep breath.

Why
Are you always
Telling me
That I'm
      Fat
          Cheap
              No good
                       Weak
                               Dumb
When
You barely
Know me
And expect
Me
To love you
Unconditionally
And treat you
With
        Respect
                 Honesty
                           Integrity

because being
safe is necessary
to survive
in a world
like this;

every day
you start out nice
and i am standing
high

but then you
pull the rug under me
and fall on me
like all hell
broke loose

Happy
To finally have someone
That understands me

After being around people
who could care less
About me

To them I'm just someone to entertain
While to you
I actually mean something

happy to be seen
being in the void
was getting too
lonely;

protect me
shield me
embrace me
hide me
defend me
hold me
stroke me

when you find
the person that
wants you to
succeed
don't let them go;

care for them
as if you were
taking care of
yourself;

protect them
and they will
equally
protect you;

We bond on the
Way
And we become
Friends

Next day
I feel glad that
I met someone that
Understand
Accepts
Me

I ignore my actual friends
To hang out with the
People I think
Get me

When really
The last day we
Meet
You treat me like an
Outsider

And we go back
To before

No talk
No text
No meeting

Just exclusion

You may feel
Sad
And want to
Cry

But it wasn't yours
you have no right

If they choose
to not greive

you cant judge
for it was some

others loss

the hurt mean
nothing to them
but being hurt
isn't the only
problem when
getting what you want;

you look
i look

you get close
i approach

your heart beat uncontrollably,
mine follows

you lean into me
and i let you

we share a moment of
happiness

then you step away
and expect me

to follow that also
but i don't want to

i was sobbing,

waiting to die alone
eat alone
dance alone
live alone


until i saw the light,
around you
as you walked towards me
and took my hand


everything changed
i would  eat with you
dance with you
live with you

until one day
you broke my heart
and left me
to fend for myself

i was sobbing,

you see me
next to
in front of
around you

but you choose
to look through me
and just have an
extra body
to make you feel
loved and cared

I can't do that anymore

i did for most of my life

trying to find people
to accept me and
not look through me

but it seems pointless
if you will never truly see me
as your friend

i am a daughter
from a father that wants to control me
and a mother who tries to be the best she can be

she wants me to be like her
and no one else
can tell me anything

i want to leave this protection
and go to a place
different from all the places
ive visited
in my life

i have gone to many places
europe, canada,latin america
but no place has ehat i need

i would like to find a place
that lets me read that i want
talk how i want
listen to what i want
eat what i want
see who i want

with no one telling me anything
and that they leave me at peace

but after some time
i will find myself sad
for wanting to be loved

and like i wasnt at home
for soo long
everyone hugged me as if
i never left the house

one little cut
can lead
to bigger ones

but if left
unatended
can get

big enough
to be dangerous,
but small enough

to not be noticed

It is fear that takes me
from my happy pasture;
that is all. I am happy in
all there is, except for what
I fear. Fear will reduce
the strongest man to a
whimpering child. People of
the world, do not fear
me. I am the
one who is always
afraid..

it might break
you apart
but that means
that together
you were both
willing to sacrifice
the same
and dont belong
together;

unhappiness
is a more common
side effects
after rising
alone in the
world;

because you
would both be
caught up in
your own
personal agenda
to care for the
other;

were people
could be pushed
to **** someone
or hurt them
to get what they want;

but the void
is also safe
from people
that would get
close to you;

you look at me
with love
but then
you ignore me,
as if I mean nothing to you

you expect me
to love you
and no one else
when you can't even tell
me that you want

im tired of feeling
guilty for you
and having to wait

tell me that
you love me
in some
way, shape or form
before I give
up on you
ever loving me

Home
where you Belong
with everyone!

but you still Refuse
to Apolagize
to your Birthgiver

I know That I
Can fix this
Even if I
get into Trouble

Some choose to isolate
themselves from the
masses,
Hiding from a world
that seems to have
no room
for them.

when rising
in the world
with someone
you experience
the highs and lows
together;

Hard is the road that
the nonconformers follow,
Under the pressure
of the people
of the crowds,
Gone are all lifes pleasures,
they must face
a life of troubles,
On the path among the
cruel and the dark
stormy clouds.

unless they
love no one
so they see
no risk in hurting
others because
they don't care;

how is it
that you and I
have almost the same
clothes,
classes,
extra curicular activities ,
stress level

but still you are
better and nicer
social and preety
skinny and popular?