you can show all your emotion and secrets in the night
the music in the light
i cant control my life inside
two glances isn't enough
take another look before you judge me
love is in danger and it is gonna die
i am a victom to your smile
tell me why you treat my feelings like a toy
my hearts disapointed, i will love you forever
but this can be never
i dont want to believe in love anymore
ill keep you to remember so deep in my heart
but you're killing my love

She's here but out there , I tried to hold her she didn't have this feeling inside of her .. Sometimes u have to think about someone to make  her feel she deserve the best but she don't  know what's inside of you towered. I don't believe when u told me that u want to go out also take a step far away and your not here anymore even in front of my eyes so u took time to remove everything and now u have things to do in your life but I guess I have a life that u were there in that life then I take a step in life so I can make the best you deserve but all u said to me Nd u want. To leave me in an in direct way 

Later what came in my mind and u said to my self " things  change " but all I can say now I'll give your space. 

After that I heard  u still have feeling  for another person and ur afraid u get me in pain but didn't know how this hurts that u don't want to be a part of me and in the same time u have things in the back that u still care about it ..  But all I can I told u from the beginning  I'll make u feel better not because I want something from you  but decisions  u took ... Make u different and made me far away from u and u took a step back 

So I guess u don't feel me anymore but u want this and the face u asked for it u thorough it away but ur space is all u need .

How many times I told u I wanna leave and you don't care  to hold me so close to you but you ******* away  you can't take me to your heart & show me that u want to stay as long enough ..

If you ask your self how much you want to make the best of u also there's something you didn't ask how much I want to see you the best &mak;; my best to make something !!

Sometimes I tell you to dream with me & how much you will see a different world.. 

Second how can I see you walking  in front of my eyes & you look at me in the eye suddenly something came into my mind  that I lost everything & how much I see your a different person I never knew you  who you are ?

You found another heart &  you blow my heart away from your soul but don't worry i'll find another soul who can hold me in her chest ...

But Trust me or not  it doesn't make  any sense me at the end.ask your self how much I gave things to you & I tried so hard that I don't wanna break you & my self  in the end I found something that can help me to go to another world who have things to look at but at least I'm through with you

Even though you don't know how much a person can give care to a person also hold me close to her what ever happened ..

It's seems to me u didn't give me anything u have inside of like min..

I wish I could tell you,
About the depth of my pain,
It’s almost never-ending,
And hard to explain.
I wish I could tell you,
How broken I feel inside,
My body just hurts so much,
But it’s easy to hide.
I wish I could tell you,
I can’t function very well,
Difficult to get around,
But no one can tell.
I wish I could tell you,
But you wouldn’t understand,
That I often have to ask,
For a helping hand.
I wish I could tell you,
How I honestly feel,
But you wouldn’t believe me,
That this pain is so real…

Pain, please leave me,
Please will you just go away?
Quit haunting my every moment,
Stop bothering me every single day.

Pain, this horrible feeling,
What did I do to deserve such pain?
Why are you punishing me?
Why do you have to remain?

Pain, leave me alone,
I will not be consumed by you,
What did I do wrong?
What do I have to do?

Pain, will you continue,
To afflict my every moment?
For the rest of my life,
Or is relief being sent?

Pain, leave me be,
What will drive you away?
I don’t deserve this,
I did not ask for you in any way.

Pain, I wish I could,
Banish you to hell forever,
I will not rely on you,
I don’t believe in you ever.

Pain, stop the torture,
Release your grip on me,
Will you please stop?
All I want is to be free...

Everything behind 

Now.. I left everything behind me I won't look back again 
Life won't stop I have to move on with my own life with my own soul 
So who ever made some pain or even make me feel I'm hurt it won't be there anymore . 

I won't change everything I guess I tried to change things around me but in the same time I won't do that I'll be who I am & I know myself 
A close person told me once that while your walking never look back and never make your self  get hurt cuz I as a person learn from my mistakes & I knew my mistakes . 

I know myself 

All these days I have been a fool & I have so many pain inside of me that I have been carrying it for so long it's time to leave this pain and start over with a new  one 

I have been thinking a lot about many things around me & I never think once for myself . I believe in something that the person who wants me & who really care about the person who will deserve the best from me but for the people who listen to other people & judging me for what they listen from other people won't be in my life anymore or even I won't care about them at all . 

I am who I am ....
I know my self 
Won't make too much effort for people who don't want to make an effort for me . 

Everything behind I won't look again .

I feel a pressure on my chest It has nothing to do with the sobs
Raking my body
More so the pain I feel
That just never stops.

 Isn't it easy to put on a happy face
For those who you thought
Loved you?
But once you learn the truth
The pain just never stops
I've cried more this last year
Then my entire life put together
Because once you've been betrayed
The tears just never stop.

 Right now I wish
I was all alone
for good
To find my reliefe in a sharp knife
and then,
finally it would stop.