I feel my heart thumping in its cage,
I get sticky palms with age
The drums vibrating in my ears.
I’ve already wasted so many years
My eyes following droplets of water,
Too much time spent a martyr
They cling and stream down the thick glass,
Can’t let any more time pass
Against a grey and gloom background.
Finally got my heart to come back around
The world outside perfectly mirrors,
I want to be the one everyone hears
What is going on inside
*Gonna set my worries aside

My meds **** me up and put me down.

They fight my pain but pull me to the ground.

Then, left lifeless with my open wounds,

I'm forced to dance around

with the rest of the mindless fools.

Oh how I wish I could let you inside my mind.
So you can try and untangle this mess I’ve created.
To comb through all the feelings I have toward you.
So you can hear me tell myself,
"You are stronger. You’ll be fine"
And I am certain I will be.
You can be there for those moments when I really am fine without you.
When you don't even cross my mind at all.
I want you to see that I don’t need you as much as you think.
Its my want for you that hurts me most.
My want for you that pumps through my vien's and attacks my heart.
Its rooted deep in my soul and still grows everyday.
You made it blossom and it was beautiful.
I want you to see it in full bloom.
I want you to feel it in you.
If you could untangle my mind,
you would see that my future is still beautiful without you,
but theres an ever vacant space waiting your return.
You would notice that I’m not filled with anger or hate,
but with love and hope for myself.
If you were in my mind you would be there for the constant battle that goes on.
My want for you vs the sanity of myself.