secret rendezvous in a truck bed
gazing at the stars and at each other
watching and waiting
for whatever
pure and warm.
our fate has been decided and
we are doomed from the start but
every day with you is a new
adventure
mystery
spontaneous burst of life
just how they do it in the movies.

all i have ever been, all i will ever be
is a warm and hollow place for
lonely boys to find refuge in;
a meaningless shell of a girl
accepting any momentary sliver of light
as love, as meaning, as purpose.
there is no glory here, just a
disposable nighttime fix,
a backup plan,
a momentary euphoria that means nothing
once it its over.

i wasted my
first poem
of the year
on you.
****,
there goes
the second one,
too.

love sputtered,
burnt out too soon;
it could have stayed so beautiful.
blonde curls fall left and right
cheeks stinging red
uncovered
unmasked
lashes flutter over four blue eyes
and the love only exists there
in one pair.
an unrequited ignition
of old flames
and your car is cold
like your hands
and your heart.

words get trapped in my throat
but they flow fluently
through my finger tips;
i would rather get carpal tunnel
than die of asphyxiation.

in a world of winter cold
you are fire,
warm and quiet
but vital.
unsung but crucial.
speaking lightly,
whispering to me
through sparks;
warm, just for me.

that day
nine months ago
when you held my hand
in the sand
and my dress blew
with your hair
and with the waves
is an echo now.
the echo is deafening
and rings in my ears
and in the back of my mind
and it keeps me
stuck on a fishing line
dangling dangerously,
delicately,
precariously,
above a raging fire
clinging to you.