I sit and then wonder, then i wonder some more, mind slowly drifting from my life’s shore. sitting and staring at the welcoming door, yet can’t decide to walk this inviting blank floor.
Is the grass greener better growing and tall, jumping the fence and just leaving it all.
do i answer the appealing inviting loud call, is it my heaven or to hell my last fall?
my cloud in this sunshine, so warm and divine, holds the peace captive and locked so behind, hurricanes and earthquakes in control of my mind.
what am i looking for, i really don’t know, feeling so empty to the pit of my soul. i have no objective with a set goal, only the hope to one day become whole.

everything  was perfect not a thing was wrong, next thing i know and hear now you are sad gone.
my heart started beating to deaths sad timeless song, tears kept falling how i tried to stay so strong.

filled with such grief it can’t be but yes it is so true, it’s changed so much the life i once happily lived and knew, i’m filled with sorrow every moment what now can i do? sitting here alone and i can’t stop missing  you.

yesterday was so different then there was no such sorrow, i cry so much tears today you have no more tomorrow.
my life seems now so bare and sadly feel’s so hollow, in grief with so much suffering in loss and pain i wallow.
you to me were everything my only one best friend, such happy memories i will keep in heart of way back then.
i will try to carry on though it seems pain has no end, i will cry a few more tears….until we
meet again

my body’s done my soul has gone unto the spirit world, no more pain or worry now i’m free as summer birds.
i know when i left you’re broken heart was hurt, the suffering so unbearable for it you have no
words.
every time  i know you cry when you remember me, this is life though very hard and how it has to be.
everything must turn to dust even the old trees, one day we will meet again you just wait and see.
please believe of what you hear because its really true
as long as you remember me, i’m always there with you

i maybe your nightmare, you think i am a dream, i can even walk you, right down in between.
i distort reality, make you not know what is real, i can even make you, not know how you feel.
i will promise heaven, while bringing you to hell.
the sacrifice you make now, you will never tell.
i’m the venus fly trap, i catch you in my spell, i know all your secrets,for to me them you must tell.
you know you can have me, we know very well, you will pawn the pride to me, your soul you will sell.
i got you i have, you i’m never letting go, you want me you need me, you can never just say no.
leave your children and family, and closely follow me, my dark cloak surround’s thee, my prisoner you will be.
i’m sickness the quickness, the source of your affliction, in blindness and thoughtlessness, your feelings under thick skin.
mindless and pointless, no regret for friction, i own you i thought you knew, for i am your addiction!!!

you can see what lurks beneath the cover, a hint of danger or potential lover.
can send a message quickly over, shows what is barely under the cover.
a smile, a frown or just a clown,
blue or grey, green or hazel brown. the sight in which you can drown, the feelings show barely kept down.
is it happiness, grief and sadness? are all the feelings mixed a mess?
do you miss me, and do i miss you, do they speak what’s inner true?
i’m i feeling sad and blue?
and this is what does show through. but are my feelings stuck like glue?
I will not say but you may  know, the feelings just might barely show. they follow me to where i go, these lonely eyes are my windows......

You don’t know me you never did, go ahead and act like a little kid.
I’m not one to do your bid, who I am from you I hid.
put me down now and call me names, while I laugh at your childish games.
I was never meant to tame, you thought you could and what a shame.
you can’t define my inner feature, you can try you poor sad creature.
such a hypocrite talk like a preacher, i’ve given you a lesson i’m your teacher.
strategize with your words well placed, but i had your plan already traced.
with venomous poison your words are laced, but I laugh in your faces because i’m unfazed.
i’m uncontrollable this is no lie, so just give up don’t even try.
and i will tell you now just why,
don’t bother whining do not cry,
this is hard cold direct truth reality, you never once invaded my inner sanity,
you thought i was caught by you home free, but i never gave you what you thought was me!!

I look at this one picture, oh so many times.
For it brings a clear memory, so fresh in my mind.
it feel’s like that same day, is right here not behind.
when i close my eyes , the happiness i do find.
i may be foolish, to breathe in the past.
childishly wanting, joyous feelings to last.
but i wish so truly, it didn’t end so **** fast.
but i hang on so stubbornly, to this memory hast.
yes you are gone now,  my broken heart knows.
the saddest of all, of my sad spirits woes.
you’re no longer here,
my soul in pain throes.
for wherefore thou are, is not what we chose!!