I can hear your thunderous eyelashes
pummel that strip of purple above your cheek.

Their echo tags along behind you as you drive
past fleeting carrion on the freeway.

But it's me you mourn for,
as you struggle through a knot in my hair.
Your already lost in our frosted-glass shenanigans.

A sticky smile trickles down your chin
and I can tell you found something familiar.

Your eyes tug at my sleeve,
Begging to drop it into my lap.

But that intimate hum we used to keep in our throats
slithered away through the low grass.
        A long time ago.

So I shake my head slowly, and you know;
That this night won't last either.

The Earth tilted its axis
when I asked you
how your day went.

I could see it in your eyes-
You knew Atlas' knees had buckled.

You pulled yourself back into your head
-Like you were bracing yourself-
before shrugging.

I just rolled my eyes
and Marveled
at the sensation of falling

Sweet creature,
your wasting away.

Did you sleep?
Or did you die then?
Did you sink into his heart?
or dissolve completely?

Rejected, you are caught;
tangled in his hair.

And although grief
has unlocked your throat,
you are no louder than
the milky chatter of pearls.

So let Karma twist your body
however he likes,

May his greedy blue eyes
     protect you.

Born of the earth;
He is a feast for the human soul.

His father is a velvet fungus,
who invented the cult of domesticity.

His mother is pregnant
with crisp autumn nights,
and speaks to him in
the language of the
sun and the moon.

He lives in ancient waters,
with the singing oracles
of passion, pain and pleasure.

He drives the heartland express
and his air freshener smells like musk.

He collects squished whispers from your ceilings,
and feeds them to you until Sunday morning
comes to take him back.

Those Ray Bans I begged you to get for me last summer. The ones that were always lopsided because I sat on them every time I threw myself into your passenger seat.

The nozzle we used to ***** onto the hose to fill up water balloons before we rode around in your car and hucked them at all those ******* bikers.

That glass pipe we bought at Amazing Adult Express. The one that changed colors every time we got high together.
...Not to mention the plastic pink **** you found in a bathroom at college and told me I could have.

My eyeliner pencil that never came off my face even with make up remover because I charred it with my lighter too many times.

The squished pack of Marb Menthols you plucked from my back pocket and wouldn't give back because  Smoking is for ***** girls.

My virginity.

And the ironic 'Thank You For Not Smoking" sign you stole for me from the Comfort Inn the night after prom.

That last glass of wine at your family dinner you drank for me because It would have been too much.

The purple lace bra and ******* I cooked you dinner in last Valentines day. The night I let you do me on the kitchen counter.

And that Needham Football shirt I love to sleep in. It used to be yours but I think we would both agree, it should be mine now

When I was little, my Mumma taught me
how to make perfume from the rose petals
in my Nan's English garden.

The grass out there was always soggy
but I never wore shoes, never wore anything.
      Flowers are best picked in the ****.

She gave me a wicker basket and said,
Watch out for the thorns and the slugs.

She picked her petals slow;
only took the nice ones.

But I didn't care about wilted edges
or gnawed worm holes.
I grabbed them all in rough fist-fulls.

Mumma tossed petals above my head
and let them flit down around me,
so I could parade threw them and pretend
I was the Queen of everything.

When our baskets were full she filled a deep ceramic bowl
with hot, cloudy water from the temperamental sink.

We pushed the petals in and broke the torrid surface.

Now, She said
It's time to let them steep. 

So she gave me Hasbiro milk bottles and chocolate buttons
while I helped her hang the linens outside
on that revolving white rack,
and we waited for our Eau du flor to brew.

Your toes are cold in just slippers
as you stand outside and watch

the ardent orange tongues,
lap up your tangibility.

They squirm through crevices in your floorboards
and kiss your clothes to ash.

They kneed and scream and crack.
You know you lost.

Before you can stop it,
The North Wind cups the fleeting embers in his palm
and tosses them into the molasses sky.

He whips them around tall buildings
and lets them settle on street signs.

He nestles ash in old, abandoned, pizza boxes
and in the fur behind the ear of a stranger's cat.

And you still standing there, shivering.
with bleach in your diet coke
and rocks in your pockets.
and I'm scared.

I wish I were there,
to wash that shirt
you've had on for days,

To braid your hair
and fix your make-up.
To make sure your still real.

To make sure you don't burst into dust,
and join the fragments of your
favorite Bob Marley poster
between the cracks of worn-out cobble stones.

Young
hurt,
Sear.

paced.
pangaea.
paisley.

swollen.

Run
Away.

I am from a big red door
that could have been bigger.

I am from the dust bunny colony
under my bed.

I am from chipped nail polish
and hastily crimped hair.

From the nine O'clock curfew,
From the first-born throne.
The tripping, wandering, hands-out-in-the-dark, throne.

I am from the tall grass.
The kind that has no paths waded through it yet.

I am from the lost, the loud, the longing.

It's bad metaphor Monday
and the fluorescent lights
are still pulsing.

My hair is tangled and matted
and I ran out of cigarettes
       hours ago.

Deep pools of purple
are welling under my eyes
and a knot in my stomach
is chewing on my insides.

There's an acid slug
slinking around my head
and liquid candy drops
are trickling down my spine.

I picked off all my fake fingernails
because there was an itch underneath them,
and there's a clammy moisture
gathering at the bottom of my brainstem.

I haven't slept in days
and I'm still lost in last­ night,
because the sun don't shine
in a drug-cluttered mind

I remember tottering
in too-high heels,
and rolling through
the Hollywood Hills.

I remember the tide,
pummeling the pier,
as your saline lips
pressed against my cheek.

I remember coffee
and candy apples
and cole slaw
and swisher sweets.

I remember
mellow-minded sugar drops
and static-energy power pills.

I remember your smell
on my skin
and your tingle
on my tongue.

I don't wanna do this
sleepwalk dance anymore.

I want to sit
in the gutters with you,
and sing.

I want you to kiss me clean.

Because I love the way
you love me.

I think you might have
tripped on my kiss
and fallen into love
Because
Your eyes get real quiet
when you look at me.

You know I can't even
remember love's name.

But I'll let your smokey lips
travel down my stomach anyway
Because
your exactly what I need.

I was wasting away
in sugar stuck days
until I found my
infatuated Knight.

You crept up behind me
and grabbed my hips tight
and asked me what I wanted to be.

A little piece of you
must be stuck inside my veins,
Because
I don't wanna be anything but
here.

I have your rosary beads
in my mouth.
But only God can judge me
as I lie underneath him.

Your worn-out hands
trickle down my thighs
to trace the bruises
you left there.

Your whispering something
in my ear.
But I'm not paying attention.

I'm too caught up
watching a bead of sweat
dance down your
jaw line.

Your not paying attention either.
You just wanna be
all tangled up in me.

And all I can think about
are the little pieces of your heart,
stuck up under my fingernails.

Your standing there
in tattered Lucky jeans
with sweat-drenched hair.

You have my scratches
dancing down your chest
under sacrilegious rosary beads.

Our eyes are waltzing
as you set your cigarette,
and my want, on fire.

Because you know
our infatuation comes
from smoke and lust
Compounding.

Your too damd hot to touch.

So come slow your heart rate down with me,
and let the cold water give you chills.

I can still see his hand
resting heavy on my right arm
and every night I hear him
begging me to stop the harm
to my own sacred body
warnings ringing like a smoke alarm.

But inside my mind is rocking
and my body's shaking free my soul
I can see myself sleepwalking
like my mind is set on cruise control
and once again I hear him talking
guiding me through this black hole.

I know he's here protecting me
I see his shadow in the dark
I can feel his love caressing me
and helping me embark
on this life-long journey
tryna' find the angel's arc
and I get a little closer
after every blunt I spark.

So before I roll another game
I'll step back from the brink
and I'll open up my mind
so I can hear him think
'*** if I listen carefully
I'll find the missing link
I'll write the answers on this leaf
before I burn away the ink...

Dirt keeps jamming
under our fingernails.
We've spent hours
digging through each other.

Were looking for a lover or a friend;
an ancestor and a relative.

We tried to sink our teeth
into each other
but all we found
was chipped porcelin.

One day I'll learn
how to hold nothing
and love the way it tastes.

One day ill leave the place
where lovers say,
If for no other reason,
*My pants are already
grass stained.

You spoke to me in bubbles
and smelled like rose petals.

You asked me how it felt
to be a war-time novelty?
I said I wasnt real.

You took me to a place
where there was nobody left
to remember our names.

You told me stories of great kings
and showed me pictures of dead lovers,
until I lost my sense of time.

We sat in pools of arsenic
for centuries,
but we never got any older.

A velvet fungus always grew
between our palms when
we held hands for too long.

But the vibrations between us
were too organic to define
as we sat together,
watching summer's carcass fade.

A golden moon sat in the sky;
a changeling of the sun,
and leaked down
sticky drops of indiscretion,
into puddles at our feet.

The lady tempest
sank her silver heels
into the stratosphere
as we laughed at
how hidden we were
from the world.

We were two dead souls
babbling at the edge of a dream
as I breathed you in
like a congested lullaby,

and you whispered in my ear:
*Wait until the wind blows,
take a breath and You'll be mine

I'll be the fake eyelashes
crawling towards you
on bruised knees.

I just want to get there
faster.

I'll be anything,
that keeps you here tonight.

******* need.

Fill me with delusions.
Store your nightmares in my skin.
As if I ever mattered.

Just give me what I want.

Words skinned and numbed
by too many bricks,
slip out past your hollow tounge
and through your silk teeth.

Your words fall to the earth like milk;
creamy and assuring.

They flow over sticky cobblestones
and gather in puddles around my feet.

Gently, they wind around my ankles
and slip through my belt loops
until they are snaked around my waist
and teething on my lips.

Your words smell like you:
The sweet saline smell of tears.

They tug at my eyelids
until I close them,

and stick to the inside of my skull
so I can enjoy them later.

The last time i danced
I couldnt remember the steps.
I was too busy leaking injustice from my pours
and looking for something to burn.

Your hands were on my hips
as we failed in style,
like tired machines.

You held me close
and whispered gently,
*In the sleep of death,
  you may find dreams.

You smell like smoke
and the bonfire left ashes in your hair.

Your rough hand is on my knee.
I hope you never move it.

Your eyes aren't focused
but neither are mine.
Sleeplessness is dragging us down.

My toes are numb from cold
but my heartbeat is fervent from overwork.

Your heart is the same
I can hear it.
Banging against your chest,
even from all the way over here.

The dawn is coming
but shadows still hold your face.
Your lids are half closed
and there are bags under your eyes.
Your the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

A thousand street lamps
run past me,
as I sit in your passenger seat
with my feet on the dashboard,
and hug your letterman jacket
a little bit closer.

The gentle hum of the engine
and subtle vibration of the tires
are all I can hear
before I drift into dreams,
with your hand on my knee.

We've been up
and we've been down.
Down is defiantly better.

You've picked me up,
you've kicked me around.
My butterflies never went away.

We learned to speak to each other,
but we forgot it all.
Our best times never had words.

Sometimes we get by
but mostly we fall.
Let me on this sinking ship.

It happened sometime during the night,
when the black sky turned to dawn
and when you covered my eyes
because I was dizzy from the light;
everything fell away.

Promises made with India ink
leaked down your wrists
and stained your hallow hands.

There was a static in your skin
that mixed me up with you
in the right kind of wrong.

One time darling,
my heart cried domino
and I was deafened
by allure's sweet song.

Please know,
your just like me.
Collecting addictions.

I'll come find you
next lifetime.
We'll be perfect.
Lovers until we meet.

We can mourn our way back home,
to watch our years burn,
before we swallow the ashes.

Don't let me crystalize on the way out.
Fossils are so easy to deny.

Don't let me slow down,
drag the miles out of me.

I'm the face in your ***** dreams.
I'm your prayer;
your infinity.

You can blame yourself
for wanting more.

I'm your black psalm.

You know your too young;
too imperfect.

I'll disarm you while you want me.
cut you with a smile.
you can watch
my grenadine lips
turn to neon back,

until I'm out of reach.

I've died a million times.
Slowly.
Like mercury.
But you know I'm not dead.
You know where I've been.

You watched me while
I blew bubbles
and smoke rings.
You knew.
I was strung out on old stars.

You saw my dandilion addiction,
my sugar sickness.

You followed me when I lay down
in magic poppy fields.
You traced me while I slept.

I made everyone else believe
the vinyl storm swallowed me whole.

But you knew I was still here-
swallowing strawberry pills
and dropping kiwi acid,
under the crust of the horizon.

She's a rubber-head ******
stepping out of the oxygen tent
with a smokey smile
to hide her oil-spill tongue.

Time keeps tripping
as she sends letters home
from the Garden State

Her third eye was high
when she broke all her favorite laws
and built herself a sinner.

She's a self-destructive soul assassin
who could go all day
and never make a sound.

We met as soul mates
but too old to still believe.

You filled me with delusions
and cracked my third eye.

You dragged me in with maybes
and said we could buy the tide.

I wanted to be on your sinking ship,
I wanted to see you bleed.

I wanted to hear you promise me
*13 seconds is all you really need

Again and again
and we'll do it again.
I hate you.
I want you.
I hate you, I hate you.
Again.

Say my name, say my name.
Say my stupid name.
It's stupid how we always seem
to do it again.

Back and forth,
here and there,
back again.

I hate you again.
I want you again.
Creep under my door
And we'll do it again.

“Just like sparrows,
You'll never see one dead.
Must be millions of them,
but you'll hardly ever see one dead.”
What happens to them?
“They get over it.”
Over what?
“Over being there.”

They simply lie with stale fear
reaking from their skins,
for death cannot heal them.

Slowly, they let go of
each others fingers
and sink, numb,
into that thick silence.
They drown there.

A thousand soffacating creatures,
choking in a bombed-out town.

All the candles in their churches are out,
and death is a bone that stammers.

And suddenly,
they are guiltier than hell.
History counts every smudging thumbprint.

I'm listening to him again
I guess thats why I miss you.

I want to turn this river
into an ocean.

I want to throw my heart
back on your floor.

It's too damd hot
and I need something to lose.

But life is good enough,
like lipstick on your skin

Because I cant imagine
tasting anyone but you.

Why is he kissing that girl?
The one with the peppermint hair
and apple-dipped nails.

Doesn't he know
her eyes are too sweet?
and her lips will go sour
when she feels the heat,
of another flame tugging her sleeve?

You spit cold like you mean it,
but your too numb to repeat it.
Digging holes that you sleep in
and you can't wish them away.

Fleshy webbing rots separately
from your polyester core
which quietly crackles sad goodbyes.

Your falling into abandon's tricky arms.

And as you crawl back
to gutter girls and cigarettes
tell me, are you o.k. with what you've got?

The day the starfish were high,
we were swimming towards the sun
and nirvana was only a stroke away.

We carried stories in our stomaches
and let them bubble up from our throats
until we could see them wrap around
the waists of street venders.

The merry-go-round music tangled in my hair
but I never wanted to shake it out.

Your breath was in my lungs
when the citrus-******* sunshine
made your heart skip a beat.

Our feet burned black on the board walk
when we walked too far,
looking for where the ocean herself was born.

When the mermaids called our names,
we waded through tide pools,
let seaweed grow around our ankles
and promised never to uproot them.

And finally the seagulls brought us
aphrodisiacs from the Gods
so we climbed the lightning bolts
and became a new constellation.

As if we were just old friends;
you'd ask,
How are you baby?

and I would reply:
It won't stop raining.

You'd want to know
if time ever mends?

and I'd tell you:
that time alone,
brought Babylon
to her knees.

Then you'd ask if maybe,
I missed the fever
that came with the North wind?

and although I've missed it greatly,
I'll answer plainly,
that I no longer care
for such silly sins.

Nettles sting my feet.
I'm wearing too much perfume.
Humidity is making me stick.

Your shirt smells like ***.
Your left shoe isn't tied.
Anxiety is making you bite your lip.

Sleeplessness makes me a liar.
Your vision is slipping south.

Youth and heat
makes summer sweet
and the lock on my door goes click.

I'm under your fingernails
with lipstick cries,
  Give it to me again.

Like Saturn's seven moons,
your falling feet make circles.

Your skin's tucked in
to the subtle grace of gravity
and my breath is in your lungs.

Please show me slowly,
what I only know the limits of.

Run me down,
while I'm blinded by the sun.

Your white trash beautiful;
take me while I'm young.