Delusional
These delusions
My delusions
Control me.
My demons
I thought they were
My friends.
My only friends
But there are none
There is no one
No one to tell
No one to yell
That I'm going insane
That these delusions
Are controlling me
My conclusion
Stirs confusion
Confusion in a mind
A messed up mind
Of the woman
Who can't sleep
She can't sleep
She can't dream
For they roam
The walls before
Nightfall
They follow her
They're stalking her
But yet they're the only ones there
They're only her guests
They're only her friends
Her visitors
They keep her company
When she's in despair
Whispering things in her ear
Oh bare me
The lecture
My delusions
They keep me alive
Even though they scream
For me to die.

Let me speak to you
I'll cling to you
Don't let me be.
Don't let me go
Let me be here for you
Let me treasure you
Cherish you
Because I believe in you
This is my honesty to you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
Could do
For you

You were quite pretty.
I  would stare at you forever
If you were around that much
And the way you shone
Like a lit firecracker
On the 4th of July.
But no one ever saw you
They didn't appreciate you,
Not like I did.
At least not until
You were hung on that tree
For everyone to see
Like a glass bulb
On Christmas eve

Drip..
Drip..
Drip..
Slowly,
Drop by little drop,
The coffee falls into it's glass ***.
It's rythmatic sound soothing me,
Soothing me to peaceful sleep.
I grasp the handle tighter,
Reaching for my mug.
I'm desperate.
Desperate to stay awake.
Even if only for a single day.
Just one more day.
The heavier my eyelids get,
The heavier the coffee *** seems.
It's weight unbearable, I let it fall to the tile.
The ring of its shatter
Echos off the walls.
My head slowly,
Very slowly,
Falling to the sight of my lap.
Faded, ripped jeans,
Covered in nearly black coffee.
The scent seems almost magical.
I keep the scent with me,
Drifting off and away .

Spilling across the paper
From blue,
To red.
This ink is my heart
And I'm pouring it out to you.
My happy,
My sad.
I'm putting it all in your hands,
So if by chance,
And merely chance,
I will get a glimmer of what it's like
To be truly
And absolutely
Cared for.
If I'm lucky
Perhaps I'll receive a piece of hope
From your heart to mine.
I just need something,
Honestly anything,
To keep me going.
To keep me marching along
In a battle that isn't to be won.

Smile,
Whether you've got braces,
Or not.
White teeth
Or possibly yellow.
Perfectly straight
Or crooked.
Whether you're happy
Or sad.
Even if you are hurt,
Shattered beyond belief,
Please Smile.
Pretty  please smile.
You can wear it everyday c:

Tick
Tick
Tick
As seconds turn to minutes
The Sound becomes empty.
Empty, hollow, and simply hypnotic.
Tick
Tick
Tick
Merely waiting
Even if for no specific purpose
How can this simple sound of a clock-
The Sound that is echoing off
The walls and into
My ears-
Hold so much meaning?
Every little sound,
Every tick
Brings us closer to death
Yet we still take so much for granted.
Why not go the distance?
Live life.
Tick
Tick
Tick
Because life will go away fairly fast,
And you'll never know when.
Why?
Because life is shor-
Tick
Tick
Tick
-t...

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
If I wait for you
Could you love me too?
Time and time again,
I've lost my own war
But things are changing
This I am for sure
I'm tired of losing
Of gaining all this pain
I'm done with choosing.
Choosing meaningless sides.
I'm done with you saying that I've changed.
I've merely grown up
And grown old from all this waiting.
For a love that's never to come.

Thinking of what to say,
The numbness invading your being.
You look for a number to dial,
Perhaps the number of hope.
However that name is not found in your contacts
Only despair
Distraughtness
And Desperation
Are seen.
What ever happened to the contact
"Trust"?
Oh yeah,
It was taken when they left.

I could be flying free
Like a bird with its wings spread wide,
Soaring in the wind.
Instead I am chained by my thoughts.
My irrational habit of constantly over thinking.
In the back of my mind
I know I can forget the world
If I only tried.
But then I continue.
I continue to think on the matter
Until I begin to once again
Irrationalize.
Until I decide that I will not fly.
I will stay inside my box.
Because my mind refuses to let me.

A boy loves a girl
How touching.
A boy loves a boy..
How disgusting?
Why don't you dig down
The bones.
Everything's the same.
You say,
" It's complicated "
How can you be repulsed
By what you don't understand.
I beg and plead
Don't be scared of what you are not familiarized with.
Embrace it.
Just because the bones are alike,
Does not mean the heart is.
Let the heart be free.
Be one with itself.

I met this girl.
And I fell in love,
But did she fall?
It's like being scared of heights
And looking down from the empire state building.
I constantly wonder
If she fell too
If she feels this too
Does she even need me too.
The thoughts swirl around in my head
But when it hits me.
The breath leaves my lungs.
Most things that fall break.
I wish I could be like the leaves
Mellow and happy.
They don't break when the fall and hit the ground.
So why do I..