i love the way
i can take off my skin
i  spread glue over the surface of my hand
and tear it off
and right then
it isn't glue
it's my very own layer of skin
to start anew with

we're all professional cage builders
we build them for ourselves
say 'i can't do that'
and we don't
we never do that
not until we become
professional cage breakers

i'm in therapy now
and it's helping
but it's not.
i am so aware,
so aware that i feel anxious
so aware that my leg is moving at amillionmilesperhourandicantstop
so aware that i have just s
                                         c
                                           r
                                            a
                                              t
                                                c
                                                  h
                                                    e
                                                      d   my face
so aware that my face is red
and i also know what to do about it
but i'm too anxious
too aware
to do so
andmythoughtsaremovingsofast
sofasticantprocessthemallatonce
i­needtoslowdown
slowdown
slow down
s l o w
d
o
w
n
stop.

beauticians say
that we shouldn't sleep in our make up
but one day we'll be sleeping forever
and then
morticians will say
makeup is what we need
for our eternal sleep

when i really think about it
there wasn't anything we didn't get to do
we told all the jokes
jumped from a bridge we shouldn't have
listened to all the songs on all of our ipods
but yet
we're still missing that something
we're missing out on doing everything
more than once
and that's all i need
is to do something
just for old times sake

can somebody please turn down
the dark
tone down the shadows
I can't even see
the flash behind my eyes
anymore

all my poems are about you
and I can't ******* stop
until this can all make sense again
an endless loop of the same feelings
and no matter how much I write
it just doesn't feel like venting
it feels like you're gone
and I can't do anything about it