Trying to define yourself.
Through other things like art that you like.
Or music.
Or books.
Somehow.
Everyone finds a fit.
They can describe themselves
through these mediums.
I can't even describe myself
through my own words.
I can't even speak clearly.
I trip. Trip. Trip up on what I try to say in everyday conversation.
Anxious. Anxious. Anxiety wells in my throat.
I'll draw a blank.
I feel empty.
Like a nobody.
Worthless shell.
With nothing to say.
I just don't really have an opinion.
I am one of those.
But who are those?
Is there more like me?
Stuck without a way to express oneself.
Except through acting like others?
I'll take on your face.
Your hair.
Your walk.
Your motions and mannerisms.
Let me wear your mask.
I am the ultimate sponge borrowing your books.
Listening to your music.
Eating your foods.
And finding your favorites to be mine as well.
I am the ultimate façade.
A faceless leech with nothing to say.
I will bring nothing to your table because you do not accept me.
I am too easily bored to stay long anyway.
So there I'll go.
I'll just wander around.Soaking up your life.
And leaving a trail behind of every mask I've worn.
"I am just a copy of a copy of a copy."

When petals fall and leaves are dry,
I weep for their ending.
When birds don't sing and deer won't prance,
My heart begins to ache.

Try not to worry so,
Rebirth will come and life will grow,
The earth is only sleeping.
Through the slumber deep and tender,
Nature does her workings.

For time will pass and sun will shine,
Moist soils open proudly.
Through their holes and demi souls,
New spirits dance with life on their backs,
And carry honey promise.

Dear distant lover,
You are my strength.
You are my hope.

The dark seems to be closing in,
I find your shapes and colors.

Bring me from my hovel
To your castle.
Be my savoir and be my lover.

It's been years
Since I've felt
your admiring touch.
It's been ages
Since I've felt
your rapturous love.

While your fingers wrap
Around another's heart,
Mine is pulled
From the still attached strings.

Don't forget my love.
Don't forget my face.
Don't forget my touch.

I crave your touch.
Just rub my nose.
Show me I am loved.
Just give me a pat.
Placing my muzzle under their fingers,
I wander around to different hands
Like a dog reprimanded
Looking for validation.

You are my rising and my setting sun,
but also the moon shine of my night.
Without your love I am lost
Gripping the ground, hoping for direction.

You are my thorn but also my water.
An unquenched earth without you.
And when your love shows upon me,
The ground breaks forth with rich blood.

Looking for validation
Like dog that was reprimanded
I wander around to different hands
Placing my muzzle under their fingers
Just give me a pat.
Show me I am loved.
Just rub my nose.
I need your touch.

jingle clank jingle clank
Money in the bank
more like in my pocket
because I don't have a wallet

clack tap clack tap
The shoe ******* my shin
makes no noise,
but my soles
have their destined doles