Listen to me quite carefully.
There is an abomination of love
Blinding love for miles around.

Hearts hidden behind this red haze
Trapped in a world of imagination
Not registering reality, not seeing
What's actually there.

Looking at nothing but the future of love.
With great and utmost optimism
You, a healthy outlook to hold
But when it blinds, disastrous society.

Cease abuse of that love red haze
The heart will spark the mind to raze
Otherwise caught in love's passionate gaze
And untrue to the truth or reality daze.
So open the eyes to the actual blaze
That lies along the line of time
Downstream in boiling oil.

Once open you see the lovers truth
To see true friends and those playing game.
I myself 'twas caught in the haze
And have finally widened my eyes to see...

The ashes.

It's just 3 short of 12
And the death knell is no more.
The grave is clear now
Soon building where light takes its place.
As we recall our memory,
Almost as if, it were yesterday.
When in the blink of an eye,
Existed the flames and fire of horror.

Seeing those in air, falling
And bouncing back up to heaven
Or going straight through
Because of the evil they held.
Sorrow influence millions
While others far away cheered
The cloud covers that
Horrible image of what stood no more.

Those who caused this
As well the others who harbored it
Have payed dearly
And lost their prideful foothold
Yet there is more
That which we are moving on to.
Perhaps just to prevent
Another day of infamy elsewhere.

We will never forget
And the death knell is no more.

Marooned on lovelorn isle
Many a tear over our misunion
Waiting for a loving rescue
From my first immortal

Thus the story a dozen moons
Wasted time of summer lust
Trapped myself within iron pillars
Hidden away in rotten rust.

I surmise now childish ways
Envying your loveful life
Not accepting myself inside
Killing myself within my heart.

I took away from myself
Trying to be with you,
Crying being without you.
Now I realize unfairness.

I was childish to you
My only friend, unable
To accept issue that
Forgot my utmost desire.

I'm truly sorry my friend
I don't want to be cold,
Anymore.

Deep inside me, yet where I not know,
Is the truest of all, the heaviest sorrow.
    I know not why, I know how,
    A great thing in me, at right now.
Wishing my eyes shut on this dimensionality
With worries of nothing, just in the reality
    When I return, along with my worries
    They'll be lessened, along with my furies.

I remember... those days when we were happy with other.

The days I would pick you up and spin you around,
The nights I would walk with you to wherever;
The first kiss that took both of our breaths away.

The days when you were the happiest woman on Earth
We were in deep love with each other.

But what happened, o blur, what did you do?
Will this well of tears not dry up?
For my love for you is still so very strong.
But alas, it has no outlet anymore.
How great is the pain, the pressure of this,
What happened to ruin our happiness?
Where did things truly start to go wrong?

My heart is bleeding, for I am alone again...
So, very, alone.

Oh Lord, what discipline have you wrought?
Will you not comfort me anymore?
Do you not hear my despairing cries?
Every prayer I give to you only ends in sobbing.
Father I am impatient and in pain.

Can you not touch my feelings?
Can you not heal the wounds?
Can you not remove the salt from them?

For now, I have no more questions, nothing more to ponder...
All I can do now, is wait for my heart
To stop bleeding.

To finish pouring out the excess love that fits nowhere.

I was entrusted a rose petal
By the Grace of God
A singular peculiarity

Fingers stroke its creases
From magenta borders
Fading unto blooming sunshine.

Feeling the beauty of it,
The smooth silk
Of tantalizing luxury

Pocketed for a charm
Later to ascertain
All the hue soaked away.

But held close,
The rosy scent
Still forever lingers.

Every night walking to the door
I have gazed upon the heavens
Seen the radiance of the moon
Unless the rock beneath my feet
Has extirpated all its light.

Nine times, over these last nine moons
I resisted the lonely howl
Lest the moon cry out back at me
Lest would it grow arms to embrace
Lest its craters could catch my tears

Nine moons, have I opened the lock
And entered into my repose
Shaking until the morrow dew
Learning to forgive those who wrong
Forgiving myself to move on

Nine rainbows, have passed through my tears
Yet, now, the tenth shall not be mine
Let the river drain to the sea
Let this heart sow up the open ****
And thus become the servant heart.

She ran away from the unleashed dog
Who doesn't seldom whine
Would never harm a heart
In the name of love.

I read one another's
and I ponder so.
I thinks it a clue,
To what I yet not know
A decision of two
Pushing to and fro
Whether to shine light,
Or search and go
And pull into the light,
What I may yet not know.
Or is it what I fear?
My outmatching foe?
Going here and there
And giving sorrow
Of failure again?

Something's amiss,
Just listen to this.
I'm not all myself
A value to miss.

The foundation of mind
Has an invisible gap,
A missing lock key
Letting all unbind.

Piece of Puzzle gone,
Personality wrong.
Feeling so lost,
To dread the dawn.

I wish everything right
With happiness too.
Yet reality supplies
Another sanity blight.

Souls lying on the ground saturated
Of anguish, hurt, lovelessness, or more.
Thanking God one especially matter,
In which agony never brooded blood or gore
From its own existence.  In my eyes though,
Wishing to take pain unto my core
Because a bit more than what's there
Never really matters if it knocks on my door.

Do dwell on the past pain,
It's part of the game
To plan for the future.

Spring Blossoms, Flowers Bloom
It's the start of season's beginnings,
And the end of winter dooms.

The beginnings of life
Terminations of death.
The birth of many loves
As well as its demises
The peace is subsiding
And war is dawning.

For in the fields of nature
Every blade of grass,
Every flower pedal,
Counts for every minuscule effect
That nature has on our mind's eye.
But every ray of light
And all the drops of rain
Mark the rise and fall of life
And the journeys within.

A wretched curse fallen upon me
A virus that lives inside me.
I shall accept it no more.

My heart cannot be mended
Further than it has been broken.
Back then, oh way back then
Touching you gave such warmth.

Now you feel cold to me,
And my limbs freeze from your touch.
I cannot touch you further,
You freeze and shatter my heart.
You hurt me, torment of total anguish
Stay away from me, quit breaking my heart.

I cannot stand you anymore
Quit touching me.
You're so cold.

Stirring in my repose
Of you again.
With unconscious smile
Sweetening dream.
Twas just a sun ago
I smiled before
Return to reality
Lonely again.

What is it that brings my mind
Back to you?
Is there something we can't see?
After two score moons,
What is this telling me?

Stronger than any other force
Pulled in by the gravity of love.
Afraid to lose the precious charm,
To some other underling heart.

I make myself ill, thinking of you,
In reality and inside my dreams.

But then granted to stop caring of the past.
And look forward to what's to come.
I will continue to fight for love,
Until the same is echoed back to me.

Stuck in a world of love
This one cannot move on.
He loves this girl you see
Tormenting dreams til dawn.

He waits around this one
Waiting for her love.
He watches her give to others
While he watches from above.

Feeding a lack of love
From a journey life long
He waits for her to love him
Or his love to be gone.

Suppression disallowed a chance
For my heart to speak aloud
No faint voice ever lived alive
In reality, this exists true,
Without a choice.

I lapsed myself in silence
Just to give a chance to listen,
To my soul, to my heart
To listen and only be heard
By myself

What do I hear, of the pain
It echos within inside myself
A cry of tears, of anguish
Dying and drowning in perpetual,
Salty blood.

The only shriek whispered out
Shudders through a quiet sigh
I'm dying from the inside out
My heart vibrates its chord of death
Evermore.

A wave sent to my limbs
Feeling every feel, living every cry
To find the machine stuttering,
Telling someone to listen to it,
None do.
Not even myself.

How I wish the blade upon you
Your lips are benign to all
Yet your heart, malignant.

You believe that you know my pain
That you think I deserve it all
So should I gouge your heart?
To give you a sample of it?

You had no shame to embrace
One committed to another
Your selfish ambitions are the death
Of you.

You're not even worth the dust of Earth
Your touch of cold
The steel of Brutus' dagger,
Into Caesar's back.

Oh how your statue has evolved,
You never cared about me
Brutus.

For if I am true of your intentions,
Then God's judgment will rain upon you.

Here is my heart
Held in my hands
Not upon a pedestal
Not upon a throne

It resides there, still pumping
Provides life, gives blood
One side takes in blood
Alas, the other pathway ejects...

Tears.

Where is your heart?
What you've guarded so soundly?
It is of pure redness
Health and beautiful
What pain has ever beset it?
What tragedy has ever strained it?
Has it ever skipped a beat?
Forgot to pump, to breathe, to live?

I show you my heart
Upon my outstretched hand
Looking upon you with an angled face
Out of the side of my eyes
Looking with contempt and jealousy
Because your heart knows not of strain

So look!  Into my heart!
The blood and tears dripping!
Through my fingers...
The stitches down and around,
The patches all over
The large portion of it missing
The part of it that's blue,
And green,
And black...

You cannot look at my own heart
And tell what pain and strain is...
I have felt rejections
On all levels of love.

I have never guarded my heart
It is true:
It is better to have loved and lost
Than to never have loved at all

And yet you'd dare not look inside it
How could such horror contain benevolence?

Yet there is more there
Than anyone has ever seen.

For my eyes shall not beget another tear.
Whilst I twirl my thumbs I reside not on fear.
Now, oh what pain you invoke unto my heart?
It even bleeds for you, though we last apart.

This feeling, reminiscent, I know too well.
You see, the last keeper of the key could tell,
That whilst she held the key, so did my heart pain.
A vicious cycle, regretful to no gain.

I foresee the sounds of lips and tongues proceed,
In dismay, relation limits shall exceed.
The strain of breaking fibers shall hurt us all,
So many a ****** fist will pound the wall.

So though you may still hold the key to my heart,
The locks have been switched to nullify your part.
I will remain cold and distant 'til the day,
When once more, I bestow my new key away.

I arise alone,
Having less time than yesterday.
Suppressing the urge to idle
I forsake my repose.

I unbolt the drawer
And make a selection.
Preparation in silence for the day
Sustaining my hunger to last the day.

I set out from the door
To burn my legs upon nature;
No hand recognizes my presence,
For the wind stands still.

Stopping but journeying through life
An unrivaled struggle resides ahead.
Then I am challenged here,
And stoically fight through fatigue.

I alternate my room
To practice what I preach
And labor obsessively to breed a seed.
A hand sails past my window at twilight.

Then confidence finds me
And guides me to orate the answers.
For I know these matters,
Presiding at the peak of the caste.

The roots of my seed dig elsewhere.
I glide into the brisk wind
Hearing trillions of hands applaud me
As I amble home again.

The end is here
And a beginning shall follow.
I hear the lady singing,
So beautifully it might
Bring withheld tears.

I have come from being fresh,
To the ignorance of the next,
Only to meet the challenge
Of my life.

I have survived and preserved.
I have gun what will not end,
And now I leave only to return,
Knowing what I have accomplished,
I shall reinstate myself,
With seniority.

The human race has a flaw until life is complete.
Every soul holds their own personality puzzle.
One side used for the life's learnings,
Another inducted into the physical health.
A part with the socialism of the minglerr,
And to last, for deep loving love.

My puzzle missed an entire side.
And the edges there curved off,
As it nothing belonged there.
A fact difficult to bear.

Love's piece does not fit,
Into my puzzle.
Thus life will never feel above
Because its made in vain to love,

Only for me.

A single soul lays on the corner
Abandoned, lonely for the time.
Its vessel has left it there to cry in silence
For that soul has no medium, no outlet to use

These words are before perfection
A monotone within soulless mind
The toil of the environment would be enough
For if the soul were present to weep the tears

No joy or pleasure, desire lacking
A constant dredge through swamp
Eyelids flutter unsynchronous to the sun
Behold life of instincts and irrelevant singals

Written: March 28, 2006 @ 9:33 AM CST

The mind and heart wage war
Just how Enigma said
And with their persistence,
Trying to get ahead.

My mind holds in the feelings
Of the one I do love so
But when my heart takes control
It lets these feelings go.

They're all afraid
To speak of the unspeakable.
Afraid to approach,
Or do they really not know it?

Others make discovery,
And send their condolences off.
They bake cupcakes,
And ice the cakes.

Their past shows a similar knot,
When we look at the ropes
Of our lives.

Light sheds that in time two ropes,
Were tied together twisting freely.
A fortunate some, the fibers make one.
The rest, the knots were false, loose...
Giving way at unexpected tugs.

My mind travels over oceans...

Her hand is never there anymore,
There's nothing to keep my balance.
No more a sweet embrace.
No more taste of beautiful lips.

For now all that exists is a one-way street.
I will come but she will not.
And I wonder...

Oh Lord, what is the future?
My humanity desires to see into your looking glass.
While your glass is true,
I am a mere child in your eyes.
Simply crying of my wishes.

In this universe
There are two kinds of people,
Being locked or not.

Emotions built from:
Anger, envy, pride, and greed.
Having a locked heart.

The feelings born from:
Fear, sorrow, and sympathy
Own an unlocked heart.

Then you are able,
If you have, just the right heart,
To begin this quest.

There is a voice that speaks to me.
A voice that is not afraid.
A voice who speaks only truth.
Which pledges utmost loyalty

But this voice refuses to speak
With an absence of peace.
Yet the presence of evil.
And it makes the human soul weak.

When this voice speaks so clever
It guides me through life and love
Tells me not to be afraid.
For this guide shall never sever.

The time draws nearer,
The end of the beginning
Looms over the horizon
Speeding ever closer.

Fatigue installs within
And reigns times in time
My impetus shares the throne
Several total confidence.

When the end is here,
Where will the beginning be?
My conscious proves nervous
In times of eternity.

I imagine then
At the end of the end
When it comes
I'll exist alone.

Here's the pen --
Forget the sword
Let your judgment cloud you not...

Let us swim
Through the sky,
Parting clouds within the eye.

Ride the stream
Just go with it...
Nothing impedes you with nature.

Draw a boat
That sails the sky;
A majestic beauty -- with many a mast.

At the wheel
Is the captain
And sails evermore to the sun.

Let its warmth
Take dear hold
Of your heart and encourage it anew.

Connect the pen
To the heart,
And abolish the tyrannical mind, once more

The years flashing within my head
Only the latest two
First in peace but now in question
On my timeline of you.

All the memories blazing past
Lost nostalgia once evermore.
I came to love you, love you strong
Conjuring intangible blood and gore.

In our fresh acquaintance, I thought you so
With unaltered personality
Defiantly I have seen you change
By reaction to reality

Your back has turned, unattending
It looks from here to be so far
Tell me why please, oh please I plea
Cause I do not know who you are

Anymore.

This virus will destroy me
And not my love for her
It begs to differ
But why would it destroy itself?

I need the aid of alien game,
A virus fights a virus
Only one will take hold
And the last standing
Will be cut down
Into the abyss.

Through my crystal cradle of life
Does the light shine,
Yet in the shadow of darkness,
Appears the black light and shatters
My precious crystal cradle of life.
Losing what thought mine,
A reality check deemed heartless,
Sprouting an insanity of what to me matters.

Of thine crystal cradle of life
The ground meeting knees
Rampaging to gather lost shards
Uncaring of the blood-stained grass
To know my crystal cradle of life
A crystal collection disease
Of which defying all my guards
Just to comprehend my blood dripping glass.

So I ponder an empty box,
Of brown and a simple ribbon,
And I contemplate its contents
For when I bequeath it to you.

Betwixt jewels and valuables,
I leave within a mere mirror.
And fill the box with my essence
Wrapped with forever loving care

So when the gaze enters the box
There through the box’s essence, eyes
Meeting themselves through my own light
Open up to another’s world

There she dives into the mind’s eye,
And submerges into beauty
Of mind, body, spirit, and soul
Inside an angel in disguise

A potential unknown hiding
Behind her deep blue sea eyes
In knowledge, in love, in caring,
Deep sea of everlasting warmth

For every gaze into this sea,
Warm smiles grow across my face,
And every laugh, embrace and more
Brings supreme happiness within

My heart and soul.

Time has started
And our destinies have parted,
But it's a shame
That our past was disregarded.
If only I knew
That you needed to know
I didn't know where to go,
So I could flow into
The rivers of your heart
Where our love would grow.
Now life's unstable
Making modern fable,
From which I learn
That now I'm able.

'Cause I don't want to live without your love,
All I want is to make you happy
Look at me when I smile from above,
Smile back and I'll see you're happy.

If you and me
Had gotten together, baby,
Things wouldn't be
The way they are
We could have gone far
But not so fast
That it would put our lives
In a cast (like now)
And now when I look back
At the possibilities
With the present responsibilities
I smile at how much
I learned from you.

How could I ever live without your love
All I want is to see you happy.
Maybe you're willing, be my white dove
Then someday you'll make me happy.

Amongst robes of satin and gold,
Stood three men of stories told.
There a wise man, of no reputation
Holds before them, behold! Such elation!

In his hand thrice a curious box,
So the men exchange in outrageous talks.
"What joke is this? Off with your head!"
And forcefully arrest him in his stead.

But this man of origin ignoble,
Without struggle of position immobile
Surrenders each a box to these bureaucrats
For each in size of one cubic inch at that.

And before the sound of earshot fades,
"Beware when you open of what cascades!"
So the man is silenced into his tomb,
Leaving mystery lingering upon the room.

Each a man such such ferocity,
Inquires upon the box with curiousity.
Without caution the first man tears it agaze
So the mind's eye bursts into bountiful blaze

And so, what **!  It is with your haste!  Your pompousness, your distaste!
I shall pry your sight to show you light, yet ne'er a way into your heart's blight!
So much so even the sun's fusion surrenders in succession to stiffly cold ice,
Forever forgotten, forever forewarned of your fervent fear and greed and vice.

So his mind comes about, facing reality
Shrugging his fate of ultimate finality.
Such the second man tosses it aside,
Yet it flies open, where he cannot hide

So you, your apathy, your content in nothing!  Shall you idle forever true.
Knowledge has tainted you, pride stricken you, you stand tall a pillar of stone.
For stone you are, and stone you shall be!  So much a pillar of salt of the the sea.
Tossing aside the weak and the encumbered to cares of yourself outnumbered.

Fear is struck in the heart of this,
No longer for such a heart in bliss
And the third, the final acutely aware
To open the box with everso care.

Thee the third, the final, your pleas!  Absorbed and plowed by evil's devotee.
Hold your heart true, all prayer endue a baby's flesh shall imbue thine heart!
For I know your deeds, and you unlike no other!  Yet let them smother you not.
For seek and you shall ascertain, knock to make the truth before you naked.

So fallen in reverence upon the knees
A chill rendered without cold breeze.
And the three transformed by man ignoble
Yet not simply here, but to judgment global.

Alas, remember this time of year,
A time to hold dear and cheer.
The time to recount first breath,
Yet a time to celebrate death,
Defeated.

I have strangled the child
Since you left it to die
To keep it from suffering further
To relieve my ears of its wails.

For we fostered this child together
And promised to nurture it.
Let it prosper into great beauty,
Into mighty strength.

Yet then, you change its diapers
With such fear and disdain.
For you were jealous of others
Supposedly in their superiority.

So it was left for me, alone
The cries were endless
No joy was due to last
The next tear was just around the corner.

Within my own despair, I hoped
That I could provide on my own
And prove its worth
But you never turned your head.

So then, I found my belt
And fastened it around the neck.
Through its wails and my tears
I tightened until the silence came.

Trapped here in an icy vault
Freezing my shattered heart
Chilling my body and soul
Through every throbbing vein.

Frozen limbs cannot grasp,
What the frozen pump does yearn.
Lost, so lost, so far away
From every touch of warmth.

Truth shall ever be contained in the mind
The decider, debater of life
Collaborating with the body's output
Allowing the face with lies and truth to bind.
But power is described among some
To deceive the ****** risks,
Extirpating all traces of truth to find.

'Twas a single kiss that stole me away
And all thought taken with.
Gazing back at you with a face of wonder,
Then catching myself breathless.

I was caught off gaurd by astonishment,
Not knowing what to say at all.
Then like a broken dam come rivers of love
And happiness at how far I fall.

With worries razed and hopes held high,
I came back for another daze.
Remember every second under the heavens
And your every passionate gaze.

Then our hearts came back and met again
And once more for a time thrice.
Sadly departing, yet I determined to live,
Perhaps another time to entice.

As I rode and went on with the night,
I thought of nothing more but you.
And even as I climb into my warm repose,
I dreamt of you til the morrow dew.

Thy fantasies of a twilight cold and brisk
Wishing so to see your face.
That no chill breeze could rend us apart
From our forever warmest embrace.

I see now my intentions
Of life, of living
I consider a first step
To why we are here.
A question that is asked
Left unanswered
So I will start learning
Yet so far, not near
But where as better to start
Than at the cosmos?

Upon the spring of a time once past,
An introduction was conducted by one
To another where the time would come.
And meet later to make acquaintance last.
He dwelt upon the memory, held it fast,
Kept its contents from seeming numb.

In repose he lay charmed once more,
By her charm, her smile and hair.
For he gave a smile to his lady fair
Unconscious to his thought at the core.
And the echo through his ear evermore.
"Hello, stranger" with amicable care.

He then aged threescore days.
Never forgetting his memory.
Reminding always will there she be
With physical absence and spiritual craze.
Storing the face in a foggy haze,
Gaping into the void in reverie.

Upon the tides of sea
There agreed upon an armistice
And impossible reconciliation
Between mind and heart.

Thy Immortal Voyage travels on,
And another isle is found
One of purity, and clear skies,
Just is the last.
Only the way shimmers.

Now the alliance
Is torn from ahead,
And behind.

What a fool I was
To let my heart play
The game of love
Mounting stress day by day

The winter chill freezes my resolve
Dousing the heated summer lust
Time sulks slower than ever
Replenishing glaciated rotten dust.

Incubus shield blocking the warmth out
Of the rays of light the sun bounces about
Winter's sickles stifling every route
Letting the tears while crying my heart out.
All for all with nullification for me.

It's getting harder to breath, harder to see.
My lonely soul cries for love you see
It's now in the game of love
Existing with a condemning glee

Frozen inside are the tears but wait,
A warmth may lift me to the light
And breathe the cooling breeze of life
Thus rescuing me from this frozen blight.

I remember the scene, although I've never seen it.
It was the night and quiet. Sobbing surrounds.
For the weight was too much.
The setting, not right.

I want to pour out this pain,
The many droplets that remind me
The thorn in my side
A constant heartache
To remind myself.

Let my tears be acid, falling from the wells of my eyes
Burning through the floor of the bathtub.
The water on my back will never wash the stains away.
Yet only follow the holes through which I cried.

I remember my denial. I remember what I knew, but didn't.
How all along, your tears, ones to quench a dove's thirst
Were falling from your heart. Onto a shoulder, not mine.
And then your hearts met and embraced, for the first time.

When the anger deep inside my heart
Is released unto the world
It makes bonds between my friends part.

Only those few can stop this anger of me
It's those not directed at.
And my chosen isle from the sea.

Al well as the radiating light
That you give when you smile
Anger dies at your beautiful sight.

Whirling...
Whirling...
A hear the whirling of the wheel
Air escaping and entering cavities
In the whirling wheel.
Gold becomes goal
And the fingertip needle
Puts me to sleep
At the whirling of the wheel.

Would you be my friend?
Yet in time I gripe with Plato
Could you be my friend?
Socrates and Gorgias spar.

These bandages can only be shrouded
Underneath grains of sand
Falling upon this dune.

During every heartbeat
One thousand grains augment this mound
Within every heartbeat
The earth spins away from days' light.

Time shortens between friend and foe
Their pearls are rusty now.
I simply wait for sand.