A substance within is not felt
Is not touched
Nor smelt
Or heard.

But lives in our lives upon the day.
Stronger than radioactive assailant
Eroding everything unto its demise.
A conspiracy not seen.
Yet traveling at the speed of itself.
The speed of time.
A victor of all battles.
Is accelerating.

'Twas such an iridescent masquerade
Upon the gestures all,
Flower guises floating freely about
This mansion chamber's ball.
Medieval castle tapestry dwarfing them
With the lofty hall,
And there arrive and vacate portal
Fading unto the wall.
A gateway whereas such events unique
When arrivals call
And departed bid final farewell from
This mansion chamber's ball.

Values grouped and danced entwined
All over the chamber floor
Gaggling, babbling, in glorious glee
Ever since eve silence tore.
Yet, one lonely soul biding his life
Blended within the wall decor.
Scanning masks inefficiently in the chamber,
Electing in mind to who adore
Then a rapping of energy is heard around
Tapping at the mansion door.
Spiriting masqueraders slide inside here
Ever since eve silence tore.

Inevitable capture of the silent statue
No longer blending of absent joy.
Given assortment of masks to be as play,
And being the ball's brightest decoy.
Wisping to and fro he goes to furthermore
Echo his mask and employ
Silent cartographers of party unto the wild
Festival masqueraders enjoy.
So this Napoleon of dance and sing aware
He twas nevermore of coy
Stunned as struck to his guise hiding inside
And being the ball's brightest decoy.

The accursed mask pried off at last
Hence he carried his glee
And surmised so to unhide inside feelings
Selecting the costume every wisely.
Those who fight of ownerright cause,
Grasping back unrightfully.
To amass the mask unto the masquerader
So inside they cannot see
Nevertheless, grasping suppressed he philosophized,
"Why hide the face? Let them see.
Life here today is an entire masquerade.
Select the costume ever wisely."

What a fool I was
To let my heart play
The game of love
Mounting stress day by day

The winter chill freezes my resolve
Dousing the heated summer lust
Time sulks slower than ever
Replenishing glaciated rotten dust.

Incubus shield blocking the warmth out
Of the rays of light the sun bounces about
Winter's sickles stifling every route
Letting the tears while crying my heart out.
All for all with nullification for me.

It's getting harder to breath, harder to see.
My lonely soul cries for love you see
It's now in the game of love
Existing with a condemning glee

Frozen inside are the tears but wait,
A warmth may lift me to the light
And breathe the cooling breeze of life
Thus rescuing me from this frozen blight.

Yet within this glorious reef
There is risk of certain grief
That is traveling past the belligerent shore
Just to obtain the deeply wished core.
Calling memory from back awhile
Dating then unto thy chosen isle
Where the reef lay hidden inside
And her true triumph let unhide.

In fear of blowing the engine once more
The forever vessel sulks by this shore
Then adversely sails onto the blue sea
Where there it may always be.

But undoubtedly, the memory shall not fade
When the nervous Cartographer's mark is made.

Five years hast vast seas chartered.
From beginning and on.
This sea long voyage,
Commencing at every dawn.

The rocky bay claimed its lives
In the first forty moons.
Navigation without a map, into
Thy yonder blue
But lessons will be attested to
So there it would be found.
By how much it grew.

On thine forty-first moon
A turtle embarked upon
This voyage forever long.
Yet by the forty-eighth
It was sought out for gone.

Then on the fifty-sixth
That trodden on vessel
Found a love rift
A night in heaven deemed untrue.
Leaving a precious memorial gift.

Thus leaving my chosen isle
From the altogether sea
A search was sought out
To follow flight of a dove
Clearer than a breaking wave may be
Then floating in innocence
The pearl dove dost found
No longer pure yet in a pool
Of blood in which shot down
Tears nought wiping unshiftable wreckage
A broken body engine finds its way,
Again.

Another isle I hath come upon,
But the terra dost not captivate me.
Yet the reef around it encircling,
I think of what it could be
It strikes my thoughtful mind
To realize...
Such a color I hath ne'er seen,
Except in her eyes.

This virus will destroy me
And not my love for her
It begs to differ
But why would it destroy itself?

I need the aid of alien game,
A virus fights a virus
Only one will take hold
And the last standing
Will be cut down
Into the abyss.

If you fools only knew
How much I'm fooling you.
With a silent stubborn thought cloud
But sometimes silence, can seem so loud.

A persistent torture
For one moon now.
An insane mind
From no know-how.

A field of grass
This sea of green
An azure sky
Then sudden scream.

If you ever want to see,
My thoughts they by God ask me,
You'll never find the way I think
Until you pour up my thoughts and take a drink.

Time has started
And our destinies have parted,
But it's a shame
That our past was disregarded.
If only I knew
That you needed to know
I didn't know where to go,
So I could flow into
The rivers of your heart
Where our love would grow.
Now life's unstable
Making modern fable,
From which I learn
That now I'm able.

'Cause I don't want to live without your love,
All I want is to make you happy
Look at me when I smile from above,
Smile back and I'll see you're happy.

If you and me
Had gotten together, baby,
Things wouldn't be
The way they are
We could have gone far
But not so fast
That it would put our lives
In a cast (like now)
And now when I look back
At the possibilities
With the present responsibilities
I smile at how much
I learned from you.

How could I ever live without your love
All I want is to see you happy.
Maybe you're willing, be my white dove
Then someday you'll make me happy.

The human race has a flaw until life is complete.
Every soul holds their own personality puzzle.
One side used for the life's learnings,
Another inducted into the physical health.
A part with the socialism of the minglerr,
And to last, for deep loving love.

My puzzle missed an entire side.
And the edges there curved off,
As it nothing belonged there.
A fact difficult to bear.

Love's piece does not fit,
Into my puzzle.
Thus life will never feel above
Because its made in vain to love,

Only for me.

My love for you was so strong
I had to lock it away
Because I was afraid of inflicting
Any interference with you,
Who had another life besides
The only one I did see.
I waited for a time to release
Until I felt a stab of pain
And I look back at my love,
To discover shock and awe
Something never expected, I never foresaw
And I still can't believe
You have to take or leave me now,
Because my love is perishing
Don't ask, why?  I don't know how.

The mind and heart wage war
Just how Enigma said
And with their persistence,
Trying to get ahead.

My mind holds in the feelings
Of the one I do love so
But when my heart takes control
It lets these feelings go.

Stronger than any other force
Pulled in by the gravity of love.
Afraid to lose the precious charm,
To some other underling heart.

I make myself ill, thinking of you,
In reality and inside my dreams.

But then granted to stop caring of the past.
And look forward to what's to come.
I will continue to fight for love,
Until the same is echoed back to me.

Manifesting reticence of the engine of life
Is the gateway to emancipation of adoration.

If I myself am glorified by a refined opposite,
Exclusively shall I reverberate that passion.

An eye in the sky
By the moon does spy
Zooms in down to earth
On a boy wondering why
In  leisure he sits
In open window sill high
Of the school's west wing
On the band hall side.
Feeling the wind passby
His face and through hands
Smell the flowers nearby
And gazing into the sky
Where the eye dost lie
But outside the obvious
Of beautiful blue sky.
There is a tornadic storm
Where in the mind does lie
The gravity of love
And he still wonders why
He waits window sill high.
Staring into azure sky
Waiting for the one he loves
Wondering if their fates will tie.
While he lounges day by day
As the yellow eyes passes him by,
Either to love or die.

Stuck in a world of love
This one cannot move on.
He loves this girl you see
Tormenting dreams til dawn.

He waits around this one
Waiting for her love.
He watches her give to others
While he watches from above.

Feeding a lack of love
From a journey life long
He waits for her to love him
Or his love to be gone.

Every time I gaze upon you,
The sun rises and my heart starts.
Turning the ignition, ready to roll
Blazing down the road after you,
Knowing I cannot keep up with you.
But my mind stays on you
Every second thinks of you.

Yet when the clouds take the sunshine away
I feel hurt, unloved, and alone.
Deprived of this photosynthetic warmth
And ripped into the clutches of depression.
When the eclipse is done, I'm relieved.
I see my sunshine who teaches me much
About the love I pursue every day.

You've become a living segment of me,
Providing life force for survival or my heart.
The very single love you radiate
Warms me to think of you time and time again.
But if you ever fade from the skies,
I'll lose my warmth and be struck down.
The the death spawning frozen hell of sadness.

Then I lose sight of you until time.
I stop and wait for you again, hoping,
That I picked the right star to chase,
Before I never knew what I was chasing,
Or why I could never stop looking for you.
Now I know you and your brilliant radiance
Comprehending to never give way.

When the anger deep inside my heart
Is released unto the world
It makes bonds between my friends part.

Only those few can stop this anger of me
It's those not directed at.
And my chosen isle from the sea.

Al well as the radiating light
That you give when you smile
Anger dies at your beautiful sight.

Come rain,
Come storm,
Unleash my wrath upon the ground.
Come thunder,
Come wind,
Strike the trees down pound for pound.

A silent agony which holds a mask,
Too much to bottle in a thousand flasks.
Come lightning,
Come storm,
And throw fury upon those who hurt me.

Education within my soul
Is understood as quick as I know
When it strides in my eyes
And my ears and makes a home.
But inside socialism and love
I might as well drop the course.

I'm dying from the inside out
None of this makes any sense
Left alone, as I scheme
Then I break out for the fence.

Sprinting through the narrow halls
Knocking many people down
Sorry, but I only did
Look back with an unfeigned frown.

Blazing through the corridors
I'm tired of the friendly light.
Let me hide in my agony
And think within the dead of night.

I blast the door off its hinge,
And ride into the azure sky.
Yet fall back down to the green earth
Heading for the fence raised high.

I gallop through the springtime fields
Past all the people staring,
Some point and laugh, some surprised
Mocking, chanting, yelling, glaring.

I scanned the coming high wall
That I wished to overperch.
Then behind me I heard them roar
I was the object of their search.

My eyes were straight, my mind was set
As I advanced toward the edge
So what about insanity?
So what if I jump from off the ledge?

As I began to scale the wall
They chase and grapple at me.
Let me settle my affairs alone.
For I leap, and thus I'm free.

I look back at them through the fence
A face which asked, "What's this about?"
"I'm not coming back to you couples,
Until I can look from the inside out!"

Spring Blossoms, Flowers Bloom
It's the start of season's beginnings,
And the end of winter dooms.

The beginnings of life
Terminations of death.
The birth of many loves
As well as its demises
The peace is subsiding
And war is dawning.

For in the fields of nature
Every blade of grass,
Every flower pedal,
Counts for every minuscule effect
That nature has on our mind's eye.
But every ray of light
And all the drops of rain
Mark the rise and fall of life
And the journeys within.

There is a voice that speaks to me.
A voice that is not afraid.
A voice who speaks only truth.
Which pledges utmost loyalty

But this voice refuses to speak
With an absence of peace.
Yet the presence of evil.
And it makes the human soul weak.

When this voice speaks so clever
It guides me through life and love
Tells me not to be afraid.
For this guide shall never sever.

If only I could be awake
To see myself sleep.
In this frozen frame of time
Counting the sheep

A heart is only so strong
To care for all
The mind one day sleeps
And next will fall.

No matter how black or blue
No matter how brown or green
Between creation and destruction
Our heart is an open door
With arms wide open
Always welcoming you,
To our hospitality.

I'm ashamed of this game
Every time it plays out the same.
No pity, no sympathy
For my cries.

Yet I always learn for that
I do love most.

Father, on my knees I pray
The strongest and deepest ever.
A cry to you, the tears roll
From my shut eyelids and fall
Unto my repose.

A student of Darwinism,
I fall to the floor
Hoping, praying to God
Obliviating all surroundings,
Obsessively calling to
"Please give me Grace."

I arise alone,
Having less time than yesterday.
Suppressing the urge to idle
I forsake my repose.

I unbolt the drawer
And make a selection.
Preparation in silence for the day
Sustaining my hunger to last the day.

I set out from the door
To burn my legs upon nature;
No hand recognizes my presence,
For the wind stands still.

Stopping but journeying through life
An unrivaled struggle resides ahead.
Then I am challenged here,
And stoically fight through fatigue.

I alternate my room
To practice what I preach
And labor obsessively to breed a seed.
A hand sails past my window at twilight.

Then confidence finds me
And guides me to orate the answers.
For I know these matters,
Presiding at the peak of the caste.

The roots of my seed dig elsewhere.
I glide into the brisk wind
Hearing trillions of hands applaud me
As I amble home again.

I was entrusted a rose petal
By the Grace of God
A singular peculiarity

Fingers stroke its creases
From magenta borders
Fading unto blooming sunshine.

Feeling the beauty of it,
The smooth silk
Of tantalizing luxury

Pocketed for a charm
Later to ascertain
All the hue soaked away.

But held close,
The rosy scent
Still forever lingers.

I once knew a dove,
Gliding into abysmal heavens
Upon a blissful dream,
Lived once in time.

When I jolted its eyes open,
The wings shuddered;
No longer did the dove bounce
Everything its wings buoyed
Through the abysmal air.

Something's amiss,
Just listen to this.
I'm not all myself
A value to miss.

The foundation of mind
Has an invisible gap,
A missing lock key
Letting all unbind.

Piece of Puzzle gone,
Personality wrong.
Feeling so lost,
To dread the dawn.

I wish everything right
With happiness too.
Yet reality supplies
Another sanity blight.

Suppression disallowed a chance
For my heart to speak aloud
No faint voice ever lived alive
In reality, this exists true,
Without a choice.

I lapsed myself in silence
Just to give a chance to listen,
To my soul, to my heart
To listen and only be heard
By myself

What do I hear, of the pain
It echos within inside myself
A cry of tears, of anguish
Dying and drowning in perpetual,
Salty blood.

The only shriek whispered out
Shudders through a quiet sigh
I'm dying from the inside out
My heart vibrates its chord of death
Evermore.

A wave sent to my limbs
Feeling every feel, living every cry
To find the machine stuttering,
Telling someone to listen to it,
None do.
Not even myself.

Mental Insanity
Creating imaginative hallucinations
Of true records
Within my brain.

Consisting all of the one I love
From recreation until lust
Yet one sends me
To hell and forward.

This of the main ingredient
With the one she loves
On top of a bed,
Underneath the fireworks.

He, whom I am not, her lover.

I hear a cry from deep inside the ashes
Behind the rubble, within the dust
Under bars of cold hard steel
Rotted away from rotten rust.

A scream of confusion out loud so loud
Dying to know what possessed this soul.
Of a thousand evils, they're passing through
And spinning me a depression hole.

A voice honest, loyal, loving, just,
Unlike the raiding evilness inside me.
My real side, which seldom comes
And rescues what tormenting day would be.

It takes control of my life
And is confused as for what to do.
Not knowing if that year-old virus
Is proving to myself very true

Considers the options,
To wait one last time,
Or to throw that out,
For an entire new chime.

It knows what to do,
With its own mind
But there's this heart
That makes the past bind.

If it's not my time,
Then when will it be?
I'm sick of waiting
While I watch what I see
I'm left alone
A lonely fish in the sea
I wish my white dove
Would just come back to me
No girlfriend to have
No use for a knee
I want my time now.
I don't want to be
Single anymore.
I feel lonely.
Cause nobody look
In direction at me.

If I do walk around
With my love for you,
Will you turn your head?
And stop ignoring me?
Like you did before,
Never giving a chance
To a guy who once liked you,
But now loves instead.
Please turn your head
Don't turn your back on me.
I hate to be ignored
There's only a year left,
Don't make me feel
As if I loved you,
For so long in vain.

Oh, how I ever do love you so!
Perhaps more I shall recognize...
Such a strong love for a young body,
As mine, a love of insanity
It's what I've been waiting for; true love.

Your love I yearn for,
A kiss from thine lips
And your warmest heart,
Beating to my own.

Through my crystal cradle of life
Does the light shine,
Yet in the shadow of darkness,
Appears the black light and shatters
My precious crystal cradle of life.
Losing what thought mine,
A reality check deemed heartless,
Sprouting an insanity of what to me matters.

Of thine crystal cradle of life
The ground meeting knees
Rampaging to gather lost shards
Uncaring of the blood-stained grass
To know my crystal cradle of life
A crystal collection disease
Of which defying all my guards
Just to comprehend my blood dripping glass.

A doll tossed around.
In a world of fantasy
For twelve moons of love.

Then loudly ****** back,
In another world unnoticed
Spying my ****** pearl dove.

Lost back in reality
Rambling headless amiss
For the upper hand above.

Souls lying on the ground saturated
Of anguish, hurt, lovelessness, or more.
Thanking God one especially matter,
In which agony never brooded blood or gore
From its own existence.  In my eyes though,
Wishing to take pain unto my core
Because a bit more than what's there
Never really matters if it knocks on my door.

Do dwell on the past pain,
It's part of the game
To plan for the future.

Lives are changing,
But the world remains the same
It's mass confusion
Unless we play the game.

Win or lose
They're all just the same
Except for Order
Within the Engine Brain

There sifts sands in the hourglass
A mended old antique
On the darkness stands the strong
And in the light of the weak

Within the common parallax
There's a universal truth
Which exclusively discovered,
When we're fresh and in our youth.

We are the future...
Understand,
While you Can.

He dances with dames and dresses all
Donning the tuxedo to shame the penguin
Whisping in mystery in coattails around.
He's the talk of tycoons, bumble of business
His scalp itches with flakes of gold.

Above his pristine he is true genuine
Motives pure with a smile of pearls
His benign benevolence abounding in love
A voice of warmth, soothing and true
Many a hand will lie upon his chest.

And even upon conclusion of clamber,
This mask remain affixed upon him.
Jealousy overwhelmed the raccoon at sight,
For the drive of desire for his mask
Runs parallel to seeking honor of a medal.

Yet when the moon is nigh at repose
This masked man, the valiant benefactor,
Dares to die and dance with the devil
And be consumed with torment in dreams
Waking to don the mask, hiding again.

Touch is out of touch --
The smell of perfume, foreign.

I miss her smile.
Whose smile?
Her smile.

No words can fill the -- exhale.

My heart cries out around the sound of time standing still
My eyes well up because of how tender You make my heart
My dreams are filled with the sweet aroma of her presence.
My hopes hold fast to my dreams with eyes wide open

Shall I stand still for many moons while waiting?
For my trust is in You, O Lord.
From repose to repose, my mind endures torment
For this is the path, the road less learned.

And so unto the repose,
To waft the scent under my nose,
A scent of beauty.

Upon the grass of Eden I lay
Away amidst the light of day
For you are the creator -

So to sever my skin,
Not quite yet next to kin
And sacrifice of me a rib -

Nay from near the feet,
To cast prolonged defeat,
Of forever being ruled over.

Nor robbed of the skull,
Thus make our lives so dull,
To be driven in sweat to the ground...

Alas my rib, taken from me
A blessing as a helper, for thee -
As close to the heart where love resides.

Why, oh my father?
Why, oh my friend?
Shall I cast my flesh into the lake of fire...

Why, oh my brother?
Why, oh my mother?
Shall my soul be so tied unto such desire...

Somewhere deep is the heart of David...
Somewhere near is the lust of the flesh...

You, creator, shall you harden my heart?
What misfortune of Pharaoh shall burn...
I pray and pine in time of dismay,
And when the plague dissolves - I return

Shall I wash in the Tigris, merely once?
For these spots will not vanish from me...
Whilst my ears cease to hear silence,
And my eyes, too open to see?

When shall you send your hand out,
To strike fear of the almighty upon the wall
So shake my very soul within the flesh
To tenderly call me lest I fall...

Commence the finale, mark as the Alpha
Thus by Omega, unto which shall end?

Do you know you're bleeding,
Before you see your blood?
Does loneliness burden the heart
When about gaggles of babble?

Yet where is my tourniquet?
Oh sweet tourniquet...
For the taste of iron,
Is too much, often.

Shall I come upon the chance
To ever know your heart?
For it has been scores of moons
Since mine searched out yours...

In that time, groping through darkness
Within that lofty cavern, water dripping
Searching for my flint upon the damp floor
Amongst all the stalagmites,
Never reaching stalactites.

Fondly how I remember those times,
And its warm nostalgia
Just as now there resides a flutter
At the thought of your face.

So now, shall the distance remain?
Over the arc of the earth my heart wanders
Desperately, yet cautiously
Afraid and hopeful.

Every night walking to the door
I have gazed upon the heavens
Seen the radiance of the moon
Unless the rock beneath my feet
Has extirpated all its light.

Nine times, over these last nine moons
I resisted the lonely howl
Lest the moon cry out back at me
Lest would it grow arms to embrace
Lest its craters could catch my tears

Nine moons, have I opened the lock
And entered into my repose
Shaking until the morrow dew
Learning to forgive those who wrong
Forgiving myself to move on

Nine rainbows, have passed through my tears
Yet, now, the tenth shall not be mine
Let the river drain to the sea
Let this heart sow up the open ****
And thus become the servant heart.

Here is my heart
Held in my hands
Not upon a pedestal
Not upon a throne

It resides there, still pumping
Provides life, gives blood
One side takes in blood
Alas, the other pathway ejects...

Tears.

Where is your heart?
What you've guarded so soundly?
It is of pure redness
Health and beautiful
What pain has ever beset it?
What tragedy has ever strained it?
Has it ever skipped a beat?
Forgot to pump, to breathe, to live?

I show you my heart
Upon my outstretched hand
Looking upon you with an angled face
Out of the side of my eyes
Looking with contempt and jealousy
Because your heart knows not of strain

So look!  Into my heart!
The blood and tears dripping!
Through my fingers...
The stitches down and around,
The patches all over
The large portion of it missing
The part of it that's blue,
And green,
And black...

You cannot look at my own heart
And tell what pain and strain is...
I have felt rejections
On all levels of love.

I have never guarded my heart
It is true:
It is better to have loved and lost
Than to never have loved at all

And yet you'd dare not look inside it
How could such horror contain benevolence?

Yet there is more there
Than anyone has ever seen.

It's the message left,
The light blinking on the answering machine
The buzzing of the lonely phone on your dresser
The offline message ne'er received
She's whirling about the world
Living to make a living
Often becoming invisible to all others

Here I open my heart to let you read it
For I do not pester without a point
Many moons shave been used to consider
Now I wish to climb down from my pillar

I dare to sacrifice proximity for distance
I consider the reward worth the costs
For over three scores of moon I knew your heart
Yet, now, I daresay seek to meet it again.