my life is a deep hole of naught
no friends, no family, no love
just emptiness filling a vast dark space
lined with hatred, immaturity and selfishness

a long time ago, the hole was once filled
with friends, with family, with love
everything was good, and everyone was happy
and the hole was lined with diamonds and smiles

but then something disastrous happened
and the hole was exposed to eliminating toxins
and suddenly the good became bad, and the happy became sad
and the lining burned like acid on the skin

the girl couldn't do anything about it
she just watched as her guilt ate her away
as the words of enemies and foes beat her to the ground
until there was no girl, just a bubble floating away

the sun is beginning to come out again
but it still burns to touch
the rays of heat glistening from afar
grazing the shoulders and scorching the fresh eyes

everything turned to dust when the light hit
particles of memories and personas leaving on a whim
caused by the fruits of harsh brightness
lasting until the devil went to sleep

but when the moon arose the world cooled
the blacktops didn't sizzle and the benches didn't burn
life froze when the moon came out
into a peaceful state of harmony

but the peace cannot last forever
and when it does, life becomes corrupt
the world grows quiet
time runs out

sometimes you're left there
just thinking about it
about your life with it
about your life without it

tears stream down your face
you reach out, aiming for it
grasping that piece that has been
missing for so long

but it loosens your grip
it eases your fingers and tickles your palm
teasing you for falling for it
mocking your lack of reality

how could it be
that something once so close to the touch
is now so far away?
a distant and fading memory of change and hope

how could it be
that something so good, so sweet, so tender
could beguile you into thinking you actually had a chance.
a chance to be something new, something fresh, something beautiful.

she thought that when she closed her eyes the world would be better
she thought that good would fill the bad
that happiness would fill the sad
she thought that the world would glow with smiles

she thought that if she closed her eyes the hurt would be sweet
she thought that the beatings wouldn't bruise
that the names wouldn't sting
she thought that her lids would shield her from pain

she thought that imagination could overcome reality
she thought that if she told herself everything would be okay, it would
but her eyelids didn't shield her
and her words didn't heal her

and the world remained untouched
and the beatings still bruised up
and for the first time she saw
the ring of fire encircling us all

alone i sit in peace
alone i sit in forgiveness
alone i sit in love
alone i sit in harmony

alone i sit in hatred
alone i sit in betrayal
alone i sit in confusion
alone i sit in denial

alone i sit in silence
alone i sit in sound
alone i sit in darkness
alone i sit in a crowd

alone i sit today
alone i sit right now
alone i sit forever
please get me out somehow

like a blue bird on the first day
she sits and stares at her prey

snow falls gently on the wet sand
the wind and the water hand in hand

she screams and scowls and gasps for air
with strands of long flaxen brown hair

floating in the waves she forgets naught
closer to shore are the memories she fought

then she remembers the times that she hated
and not too longer all was faded.

trickling up the spine
slipping down the throat
consumed like sweet candy
when really a suicide note

unaware of its power
unaware of the threat
it is misunderstood and ignored
its meaning never met

swimming in the stomach
burning through the mind
pulling at the ovaries
its the only of its kind

shredding through like paper
bleeding past like wine
the lost are now forgotten
the lost are now mine

the beauty of youth melts
it doesn't break and it doesn't shed
it leaves hot wax down your spine
and molds to your form

its there to remind you of what you're missing
like a second layer
invisible to others
but like a hollywood sign to your eyes

it mocks you with its crisp fresh eyes
it laughs at you with its plump lips
it points at you with manicured fingernails
and haunts you with every light step

it will be there forever
like a bad bar of soap
you will try to scrub and tare at it
but its yours, its yours

I was born and raised in cement.
only slightly porous and pigmented grey
with mold and mildew seeping into unsuspecting cracks
and flowers and lilliputian trees sprouting here and there

the sunshine caused the heat to rise
and my skin burned soles and souls to touch
making me undesirable
making me poisonous  

the snow caused my skin to freeze
causing backs to breaks and people to die
making me hated
making me alone

and yet I cannot escape my home
I have grown to love its lethal walls
its sinister and dangerous pout
its hard and familiar structure

I am one within the cement
I am stronger than bone
I am indestructible
I can survive and I will outlast all

beyond the furthest mountain
but aft of the nearest star
there lives a young fair maiden
oblivious to the world so far

she sits and combs her hair each night
untangling each knot with care
but little does she think with fright
of the bombs that blow and scare

so there she sits and sings her song
a merry little tune
swaying a little here and there
lit only by the moon

but when she looks out her window
not much does she see
only piles of coal black ash and rust
a present from her family

and so she sits and hums along
waiting for the chance
to leave her red wooden chair
which she falls into nightly to rest