because sadness keeps me awake
when i should be asleep
i couldnt close my eyes
to see a crystal clear picture of what it would be like
when i held on to that burning heap

didnt know that burning heap was hotter
than the coals my feet would touch when something was slaughtered
over something that i didnt quite understand
which melted my heart to keep sobbing
into porcelain glasses that were precious
like my heart that kept throbbing

tears fall down like the window pane sound
when someone would come home
dreaming and thinking if i was ever gonna be
with someone or will i be left all alone?

chasing dreams was the reality of life
didnt know it would tire you so much
until it eats you up
like you were the last carrot on the table
which no one else wanted

but it didnt look like that
it was more than sounding flat,
or looking super fat,
more than how long you sat,
or if you looked like a rat.
but what was inside
that distinguished
who you are
and no one else would dictate that.

so much things may slap you in the face real hard
like a giants nest hitting the illegal settlers cage
until it crashes down to pieces
never gonna be put back together in its original place
but it had its chance to reinvent itself

go back up
go back up
stand on both feet up
and up up up
you are bound for something greater than the road's bump

I wish the butterflies,
That made my stomach rise,
Came back to life
Again

I wish those moments when
I hadn’t plan my agenda
To love
Again

These moments are sacred,
Though it might have been wasted
Not truly taken care
Of those memories
Hated

Cause I try to run them back again
And I hope that my tummy
Still felt like this with you

I remembered greeting you that day
When my heart felt astray
And now I cant think
Of moments
that would rise me above these ashes

I feel like
I have been
Trying
To set the doves that was once trapped in cage
And now being set free
Like it was once filled with rage

But now I feel
Like the moments once wasted
Is now being truly cherished

When all we ever had to do was stay
Pray
And slay

This is the first of the many
Times I will try
To hide what I'm feeling

I may be like Taylor Swift
As I write down every giggling moment to
Every heart ache
Maybe it's just cause of you

I'm not gonna lie
This is not the first time I've fallen
Head over heels someone
But this is the first
Time i actually tried
Writing what it feels like

Showing the world isnt that easy when
Everyone knows everything
The best treasures lie flat on the secrets of the earth
And in that case
You have been my secret
And no, its not because of your face

Today
I saw you
Do something
That shocked me
It was a first

The confidence that heaped
Coals larger than heavens can phathom
It was a first for someone to actually
Sweep me off my feet
With an uncontainable love
That made me shake everytime
I would think of you
As i watched you
Perform

It was magical
More like euphorical
With every dimension
You twisted the entire universe
As i was the tornado in the middle
Getting twisted with every whirlpool of emotion
Bringing comets and asteroids breaking apart
Cause of the power
That fueled me

It was nice to see one guy
Show complete sincerity
With that oness i feel
Calms me
With every look
Brings me to tonight's serendipity

i dont know the feeling
when i get all itched up on the inside
maybe im just looking for a place to destress
even if all the feelings are making me hopeless

no, i dont mean to sound suicidle
tho my hand holds the knife that's nearly left with all blood puddle
but i tend to understand
in what this might be

will this ever just pass like the month of october
or when september ends never leaving
a decent address to what it was left
hanging on a cliff
when both ends meet in the air
like a high five left in despair?

There were three reasons why
I had this hang up on you

The first?
was when i saw you
not knowing who you were
but the beauty my eyes gasped on
was a thankful beginning
for this thirsty old soul

It was a glory day to remember
when i remembered i had no chill on or whatsoever
but it turned when i knew i had to share you
with someone
who had no clue
i guess it's not really meant to be boo

but then the second one came
when you allowed me
to be a part of your man's game
to be one of the guys
if i can call it the same

there was me and you
but you still had no clue
sometimes i would feel blue
thinking
how will i get this through?

but it was fine until
the third
knocked on my door
and made me climb uphill
like i was being devastated
or clearly insane
was
those
every late night
talks that
scares me

what if i dont get to reply?
what if you wont answer?
what if maybe we will just get tired
of being like this with each other

then i slam the door
like how i slammed my computer
when i knew who you used to like

but hey
three
comes when all you had to do was be free
three
assaults you like it was just some mindless gaming
three
breaks when it found out it was just you and me

Two is
the number i can call you and me
Two is when one is weak
enough to hold you
that's why here comes another one
to stand for the truth

Two is the pair
not on how i'm in such despair
but how i fall into infinite collisions
that brings my eyes unto
the one who's inspiration
keeps my self stable
with no question

Two are you
when all i had to do
was hide
from the moment everything seemed to collide
when my eyes agreed to snap ties
with someone i did not apparently want to incline with

Two marks how many hands i have
one to hold yours and the other for me to keep
both to clasp for me to pray

Two is the day
You tagged me along
to pray
when my faith was hanging
like a needle lost in the stack of hay

hey

i didn't mean to bargain
or intrude
but praying for the truth
is it really you?

sudden questions appear and take over
when finally answered
i jump quickly into conclusions,
or maybe that's just me

but i realized
two
two is to take time when things aren't meant to be rushed

two is when i just needed time
two is when all i had to do was be totally fine
fine with all of this
not for me to throw
something that doesn't actually need to be thrown away
in the dusk
of the sunsets,
is when i know
that tomorrow the sun will rise
like how my feelings will
when i see you

talk about the perfect price
the price to be with you
is enough for me
sometimes i can go on and on
but i realized
two
is
when
im
with
you
and all i can be is just
stay true?

or

Hey you,

The zone you brought me in
didn't make me feel that bad
being in this zone was actually better then being left out
but everything takes time
and effort
and patience
and so much more
but i imagined myself in the shoes of someone waiting

When waiting for a taxi cab when no ride home,
waiting for your order to be taken when your so hungry,
waiting for the time you'll finally say those three words,
yet are said too much, as they say.

Trust was something important to you
as it was for me too.
To hold that delicate precious thing you've been keeping
from everyone,
and for me to get somewhat hold of that,
made me realize it was all bounded by a relationship
made to last
but nothing in a malice way.

I was bitter yet i did, want to learn from my experience,

Was expectant yet i didn't want to assume.

Was hoping yet I did get what i wanted.

It was all about the friendship

Saying this side so you'll understand.
Not to try to make things worst
but to prevent things from crashing down.

Thanks for being the one who would make me laugh,
when you were the only on who was capable.

Thanks for the times i'd tag along with you
when i just wanted to be with you.

Thanks for sharing those quiet moments with you
when i was being killed slowly by the noise around me.

You will always be the bestest friend
loui can ever have
maybe it is also better that way, and im happier that way.