He blew a kiss.
A filthy, nasty,
leaves your skin crawling,
kiss.
In his hand,
was his wife's hand.
I quickly made my way down the street.
But my mind stuck to that moment,
as if it was a child's chewed up piece of gum.
Left alone at the side of the curb,
like a washed up actress from the 90's,
who just sort of lost her flavor.
I loathed the moment that had just occurred.
I know I am a woman,
and that I have a larger than average-sized chest,
and maybe even a decent face.
But treat me with respect.
Or at least make sure your own woman isn't watching you,
violate my existence.
Please just make the filth that runs through your veins,
a little less noticeable.
Think about me later while you're ******* her.
But don't acknowledge me in the street,
if anything but a small smile,
is what you have to offer.
Because I will not accept your ***** kiss.
And no,
I will not climb into your bed.
Just because the pieces fit,
doesn't mean I wanted the puzzle in the first place.
Because I know,
as that woman with a larger than average-sized chest,
and maybe even a decent face,
I deserve better than **** off the streets.
I deserve respect.
So keep your kiss,
for a ***** with no self-respect.

There is a place I go,
that swallows me whole,
when I allow my eyes to rest.
In this place,
my mind thrives,
and I have no say,
as to what use my thoughts are put to.
Here,
I am small and feeble,
swallowed by darkness,
and drowned,
in the hues of shadowy black,
and morbid red discoloring.
In this place,
my writing comes to life.
Wrecking all in its' path,
including myself.
This place I speak of,
is simply my imagination.
And it takes hold whenever it is given the chance.

My mind is sometimes a dark,
twisted place to be.
With monsters that make the human race
look like the church-goers they pretend to be.
I find it easy to rhyme with my words.
I get along well with my adjectives and verbs.
But ask me to use my voice,
It won't be heard.
My mind is sharp and quick,
not my tongue.
My mouth fumbles all the words inside,
the words that fight,
to catch a glimpse of the daylight.
My voice just isn't cutout for my cranium.
I am not built out of Titanium.
Just blood cells and muscle tissues,
and within my head,
world wide issues.
Laugh if you want to,
but you all know it's true.
This countries blown its' nose on the other half of the hemisphere,
Including you and I.
Now all we get from them is oil and overworked sneers.
Bad business for even worse businessmen.
It must be the environment,
that is poisoning my tongue.
In this country my mind does not belong.
Let's make a move on the board,
take a risk.
No airports though,
they tend to frisk.
Just you and I,
and a couple of novels,
we'll be good.
It's you I want to float in this ocean with,
as the city's burning.
It was awhile ago that these children
stopped learning.
In this world,
we each had our moments.
Look what just fell,
the monuments.
So, put your hand in mine,
we can be what's right for each other.
Won't ever need another.
Let's make a trip around the axis,
in a brand new Lexus.
I'm not paying though,
gift of the previous world.
Guess my mind's not as twisted as I pretend it to be.
I am with you for one reason,
You always know what I am thinking.
So I don't have to speak it.
You're so understanding,
It's terrific.
You're my other half,
no doubt.
You are what it could all be about.
Now let's watch this Apocalypse together.
We will float  here forever at sea.
You are a reoccurring dream,
that I never want to leave.
There is  nothing to worry about.
Just you and I.
And this vast sea.

Youth.
   It is pretty, naive, and innocent.
Death.
  It  is grotesque, wise, and tainted.
However, both are equally
  
   beautiful.

Be careful!
             they may spill!
And ruin your nicely shined dress shoes.
    
My insides have been turning for quite sometime.
     So to me it is no wonder,
that they are about to unwind.
      You see I always have lived
in a state of worry,
It's been the same old story,
       My heart is weak,
       My intuition is bleak,
       My mouth hardly wants to eat,
       My soul is nearly beat,
       My body can't take this heat,
My mind is slow,
And my feet won't go,
      But I haven't much time left to complain,
My insides are falling out,
      So I am kind of in a lot of pain,
I swear I am not insane,
      I still have a story to tell,
So let me begin it.

       It all started when I was yo-


                          SPLIT...
                          SPLASH!!!
                          SPLATTER...

The way sunshine looks good on you,

the way words escape your mouth, even if it's just a few,

         The way you touch me,

sometimes causing me blindness,

         It's hard to see,

The way I stammer,

         The way you are harsh,

Like a hammer,

          The way I naturally back into corners,

You are tough,

           I am not strong enough,

You are my opposite,

           yet, you seem familiar to me.

The way I fear talking to you,

           afraid to turn you blue.

The way I am to shy to fully give myself to you,

            In fear of being turned away.

Not taking the right cue.

I am the only one left.

I am the only one left, at the end of the fight.

Past your drunken Friday night.

That really remembers and feels the insults,

That are later etched into my burning skin,

That moments later will release a near frozen blood stream.

I am the only one left, at the end of the night.

That remembers the yelling of a drunken man.

“****.” “Evil.” “Hate Her.”

These words sting I know, as they hit my mothers face,

And slip under my door.

And yet not a word comes out of her mouth.

Because there is no point in fighting a drunken man.

Because when the sun shines the next morning, and father is sobering,

The fight is forgotten,

Until.

Until there is yet another night,

Like this one.

For each shot thrown back,

And each cigarette put out,

There is a hurtful word,

“****.” “Evil.” “Hate Her.”

“****.” “Evil.” “Hate Her.”

After all of it I say,

And say over,

And over again,

I do not care.

I will be the only one,

Who has left.

I will be the only one,

Who has left.