I spend my time alone, aimlessly wandering around
Observing the trees, and the way clouds move through the sky without glancing back.
I spend my nights surrounded by darkness
Except for the remaining embers of a lit cigarette, my cigarette.
I've never quite understood
Why what I find comfort in, always tares me apart.
All I know is I let you effortlessly break me above all things,
And I knew deep down you couldn't be trusted
But I guess it's the thrill of being broken that keeps me coming back.

There are mornings when the windchimes remind me of your voice
And all anyone else hears is a meaningless noise

I can feel your presence linger no matter where I go
It's hard to believe that you're no longer here with me, at home

I remember when you'd sit beside me and listen to me sing
You wouldn't speak until every
Last note had stopped to ring

It's hard to believe that your every
last breathe has ended
There is no way my emotions and thoughts could be mended

So now I sit out staring
Staring at the mournful moon
If only you could've lived a little longer
You left too soon...

And these are the nights
The nights spent in silence
Overwhelmed with discomfort

And these are the days
Full of nothing
But the thoughts flooding

These are the years
Left with constant pain
And remorse to rely on

This is life.

A routine
That is far too familiar.
Far too **wasted

Something about the eyes
The "window to a person's soul"
The truth behind a disguise
A mystery solved.

Eyes have importance
A purpose
Not just sight, but to reveal
To express
To connect.

Eyes convey sensuality
A sign of tension;
Of lust
The vulnerability of letting someone in
Letting someone care.

The trust
The bare emotion and thought
Left out to dry
To wither
Until water comes again
Comes to quench the thirst.

This thirst
Thirst for "love"
Thirst for sight.

The thirst of **eyes

I finally reach up for a gasp of air
but something drags me further down into the blue abyss
now too much space separates the water and the surface
and all that's left is a life filled of remorse and
my worthless body
floating aimlessly through the sea.

Thinking there was nowhere left to go
With tears streaming down her sickly pale cheeks
The torn threads she will not sew
While much needed help she refuses to seek

She plucked each pedal with frigid fingers
Ingested the sweet scent with a nose much too pink
Yet the smell of unforgiving acetone still lingers
Further into loneliness she begins sink

As if she were being lured by an anchor
Down to the bottom for eternity
Now numb, the heavens will take her
And return her endangered sanity

After a while that fictitious smile would drift
And she’d soon realize that no one gave a ****
So up went her hands, trembling with a fully-loaded gun
As agonizing thoughts flooded her mind to the point where she drowned, and there was nowhere left to run
But little did she know darling that life goes on and days get brighter
If only she were still around to show em’ all a sincere survivor,
a hell of a fighter.