This time I swear to you
there are NO words
to convey my sorrow

I can barely make it
through today
Without you
there is no tomorrow

I am devastated
desolate
you could even
say i'm ruined

Perhaps you'll
read the definitions
to capture the
dark language
in which im fluent

Instead of using useless words
that will only come up short

I should just spill
my blood
right onto this page
to this I have had
to resort.

Every ounce of lonely you've pushed away
throughout the day.

Lines separating love and insanity,
oh how they blur frequently.

Trying to **** blood from stone,

will it ever bleed?

It’s hard to fight that
little teeny tiny voice
that softly whispers,
“Starve..”
and when I do fight it,
she ceases to whisper,
now yelling,
frantically screaming,
shouting through
her tears,
“STARVE!”

When I eat it’s like I’m,
hurting her,
killing her.
I feel guilty,
although
she is nasty,
mean,
with never a kind word
to share with me,
unless I listen to her.
Oh how she tempts me,
pretending to befriend me..
complimenting me
while I fight those
hunger pains,
she keeps me
going…

Yet I know I
have to end
our disastrous friendship.
Friend?
She is an,
enemy.

Ah but sometimes,
in the secrecy of my
own fragile mind,
I let her words,
linger…
I push her away,
and she crawls
back to me.
I wish she would
just… leave me be.

Oh Ana,
I’m sorry,
I cannot be friends,
anymore.

I can see you
standing down there
feet hidden by
the over growing
blades of grass,
I just can't wait
to get to you.
You're looking
up at me,
from the bottom
of the hill,
hands patiently waiting
in the pockets
of your blue jeans.
The smile you
so casually flash me
is brighter, warmer
than the sun itself.
I can't stand
not being by your side
for a moment longer.
Do I just,
jump, dive?
I close my eyes
and count,
1...2...3
And now im
tumbling,
absolutely falling,
for you

Slice open the flesh
of my abdomen,
to release the butterflies,
its all so calm now.
Stitch me up,
sew me shut,
make me whole again.
Maybe that’s what
love is after all,
knowing you still
hold that scalpel
and trusting you not
to rip open my
stitches.