You wonder why I left?
It seems you've forgotten
All the time that I was there

Those months you dragged me
Through all your confusion
You pushed and pulled;
A balancing act
Keeping me by your side

It stayed that way for a while
But your ability to push
Has ******* your ability to pull
It threw me away for good

So you wonder why?
I'll tell you:
Ask yourself
Why you pushed so hard

you told me i should paint my nails red
as you studied the dark shade of gray
they were painted at the time
so dark they were almost black

it wasn’t me you wanted
to change her nail color
it’s the girl you thought i could be
perhaps the girl you wanted me to be

so i guess it’s fitting
you moved on
i bet her favorite color is
red

As he pulls me closer
Squeezing me as if to reaffirm my presence
I couldn't be further away
Further from him and closer to you.
His arms are big and strong
Warm and soft; arms anyone could get used to.
But they will never be yours
The ones I wished would never let me go
How I wish his would loosen their firm grip.

He kisses my cheek
Warm soft kisses
The kind that every girl wishes
A man would tenderly plant on the rounded softness of her cheek
But those kisses are quaint at best
And I never wish for more than that small tenderness
Instead I wish for the passion
That crackled the air around you and I

Miles away
I'm sure you are
Sharing a similar moment simultaneously
But instead of my touch boring in your memory
As the absence of yours runs my skin cold
You're thinking of just how happy you are
To have new, never thinking of the old

I'm sorry I can only be friends with you
I regret to inform
We can't be the perfect two
If only you knew me better
You would know why

But to you, my friend, I cannot lie

So many feelings inside my soul
No longer allowing me to feel whole.
I promise you that this is true
I'm sorry I do not feel the same
About you.

These feelings keep and hold me back
So mutual feelings, I seem to lack
So many a time I've been hurt and defeated
And I'm so very scared of having the same
Repeated.

A relationship with me is not what you want
These feelings inside me still constantly taunt
And hold me back from being free

So for now, I beg you, let me leave.

Maybe in another time we can be
It's not to say there isn't a time
For you and me
But because of current situations
Current feelings and more
Other people and relationships
I encourage you to explore.

Lips swollen
Wrists hurting
Pain between her legs.

What happened last night?

She wakes in a foreign room
Her clothes disheveled
Scattered on the floor.
A thin sheet barely covering
Her aching body.

They took her pride
They took her dignity.
They commanded control
Of the body she could not
Control herself.

Hazy with alcohol
Uninhibited by intoxication
They used it to their advantage
Stole her pride violently
Ravished her body.
And did so proudly.
A barely there girl-
They stole everything from her.

Bruises stamped along her body
Pain between her legs
Swollen lips
And empty chest
Are what she is left with.
While they are even more prideful
Full of her life
That they eagerly stole.

It still hurts.

But not in the way that it used to.
I do not love you like I did
You know, the "in love" sort.
I love you in your being
The person that you are.
But the romance faded with the years
That have passed in our separation.

It does still hurt
In seeing you with her.
Seeing the way you love and cherish
The way at one time I thought
You might still do me.
I watch the way you two just work
You fit perfectly side to side.
I wonder if maybe
Through me
Is how you knew she was for you.
Maybe what we shared
That was once so special to me
Helped show you that she
Was what you needed
No longer legitimizing
What we used to be.

You wanted the sun:
Bright, strong, undying.
But even the sun can only shine for so long.
So when shadows covered some of my light
You settled for that small bit.

My sunlight could only burn for so long
So when I turned to moon
Still giving off light
You supposed that different shade
Might still be okay.

But the moon goes through cycles
Time shows its different shapes.
By the time the new moon came
And all the light had dissipated
That's when you decided
That you could no longer stay.