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gabrielle boltz Oct 2013
i let the water
wash away          
what was left of you -

scrubbed away at
indignation and denial
until all i had to hate was
  
the truth.                                                    


the blow drier left                      
my hair frizzier than usual,  
so when i caught              
my reflection,            
even that seemed
foreign.          

different.
wrong.


broken didn't apply
until the              
implications
of that truth    that i so hated
sank through layers of
brunette curls and
rigid fingers,  
that could have been better
at holding it all          
inside my head.
gabrielle boltz Oct 2013
i use big words that you
     sometimes don't understand,
          and i'm sorry.

this time i ran out of words,
     (thinking you might be thankful) -
thinking it might be easier
     to say nothing at all.

               cleaner.
              simpler.

so the words left,
     chased away by shock
          replaced with soundless
               undefined tears
that did not reach
     your flushed cheeks until
          too late.

today i realized that not only
     do you misunderstand my
          words,

but you misunderstand
     the lack thereof as well.


next time,
     if the answer is silence,
          
          *ask again.
gabrielle boltz Sep 2013
the midnight morning light
spills through
what would be blackout curtains
if
a lack of sun
would have helped anything.

the stripe glowed -
crossed my room as
i searched the ceiling
for some semblance of
sleep

until
with leftover insomnia
ringing in my ears
i pried myself from
dream drained sheets

grabbed my key
and an apple
and ran out the door
gabrielle boltz Aug 2013
there is a train that
blows it's whistle at night
while i'm in bed.

when i was little,
i cried naive tears
every time i heard it,
because i thought
it was a
cruise ship
taking other children to
disney land
and leaving me behind.

i was not too much older when i
shouted groggily
out me window
in the mornings
at the city workers
cutting Ys into our trees
because they thought it smart
to put power lines
in the way of
two innocent maples.

i told them they
were my trees.
i watched green leaves
carefully grow back in,
until those men returned, again.

it's been a long time
since my groggy, tearful mornings,
but
the Ys are still there,
and i've never been
to disney land.
gabrielle boltz Aug 2013
the telephone poles
are lying to me
their shadows tell stories
about the sun
leaving me wondering
at the endings
skirting around the lessons
and dodging my glances
spinning
spinning out of
sight in the dust blown up
by the wheels of your truck
that could use some air themselves
but you can't find a quarter
and there's nowhere to turn around
and the telephone poles
seem to get taller

the farther we go
gabrielle boltz Aug 2013
i saw a spider
eat a june bug.

it was
impatient,
not wrapping the
shell in silken thread

driving down the road
in the passenger's seat -
i killed a gnat
on the windshield
with the ball of my foot.

i think it's still there.

at least the spider didn't get it.
gabrielle boltz Jul 2013
three eggs
lemon
milk
sugar
anger
oil
coffee
heat

watch it rise

cut off the top
so it's even inside

cover it in
a smooth crystal
coating,

because the pan
harassed the corners
and the
batter is full
of salt

and i think
maybe the oven
is just as broken as
the baker
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