I'm trying to survive,
But I'm still deeply in love with you.
I haven't seen you in a month or so, it tears me up inside.
to know you're with him and not me,
you tell me you love me, and that you did it to protect us.
maybe I didn't want to be protected.
maybe I just wanted you.
you degrade yourself, when I see only your beauty.
you hate yourself, when I can only love you.
I want you back, but it would be different,
you hate your self more then ever and i'd just be picking up your pieces.
I honestly wouldn't had made love to you if i had known this would happen,
if I was to know that night was the last night i was to see you.
I feel like a cheap ***** every time i think of it.
you wanted me to hate you, like you hated you,
I couldn't.
you wanted me to find new girls,
I wanted too.
now were just two people,
deeply in love
and completely unable to do a ******* thing about it.
it tears me apart.
I'm surviving,
at least I'm Trying

Forever and a day,
Don't hide your love away.
Standing by your side,
I picture myself as your bride.

Although forbidden love we share,
I've never felt so true and fair.
With every thought of you,
My dreams are coming true.

Before I cried just tears of sadness.
From shouting words and fits of madness.
Now they're filled with happiness.
I know I've found my one true bliss.

The day we say, "I do,"
Will be the day I know it's true.
We'll rejoice as one.
A love that will never be undone.

The love we share,
Will create beautiful herds.
I can picture them now;
Unique, brown-eyed, and proud.

There's no way to tell,
How fast I fell.
It must have been that first kiss
By which all others from my heart were
Forever and a day,
Our love will never fade away.
Forever and a day,
Well, that's all I can say.
:)


My ex girl friend wrote this while we were going out. i had always intended of keeping it to myself, but i don't see the point anymore.

what does it mean?
what does it ever measure up to?
most of the time,
Nothing.

what have you done
in the name of love
it's name is *****
i dare not speak it
not worth the breath needed to say it

here comes the snake
slithering up your arm
waiting to sink its teeth into you
it's name?
love

so what would you do
in the name of love

its a sickness
i am the cure
we all are
it survives off of amature intentions
its all a lie

choke the snake
and let something real grow in its place
something real...
that would be nice

havent written for a while
didnt have a reason
i was hurt, but nothing that hasn't been said before.
she hurt me,
i went back for more
and more
and more
recently ive learned to stand on my own,
this time for real.
ive met someone,
someone real.
someone i can really connnect with.
someone that will let me love them
someone who can love themselfs instead of just ******* me over.
yeah, i still care about you on some level
but not nearly as much as i use to.
so im happy
rebuilding
youre gonna be alone
you just have to ask yourself
"what now?"

What the **** is inside of me
Pain, Desire, agony
Scratching at the surface
clawing at the flesh
ripping out the hair again
and lapping up the rest
leave nothing for the vultures
leave nothing for the ******
spreading your disease on me
all of you are ******* ******
singing the same ******* songs
as a million times before
all of you are ******* usless
it's useless to resist it
I'm drowning in this ocean of lies
i just cant reach the surface
i just cant ******* breath
why the **** are you near me

die, die, die
i want you gone
i want you dead
you are not a victim
you are a pig
a ****
a disease
i am the cure

get the **** out of my head
out of my dreams
i just cant seem to get away
i cant breath
when will the light come
when will i stop hurting
stop hating
stop feeling your touch
long after you've gone

Build your self up
stand on your own two feet
rise above
born again
the hatred still seeths
it emerges when she's near
put on your mask
hide your pain
your darkness
darkness within
dont tell me you care
there is nothing inside of you
is there?

I will never find peace
I will never find happiness
I will never find solace
I will never find a moment
to simply relax.

I did everything for you.
I believed in you when you couldn't believe in your self.
I was the one you ran too.
Now I still get your problems
while he gets your best
so I get the ****, but I can't get your love.
"hey, here is everything I'm not willing to drop on the new guy."
*******, *******, *******.
I was so willing to spend the rest of my life with you.
I was ready to keep every single promise.
seems like you weren't
seems like when it gets real
you run.
I saw the end coming, I saw it coming miles away.
I kept telling myself is it was something we could work through.
you fault is running away,
while I believe in love.
I guess we both have defects.
I'm starting to hit ****,
walls,
furniture,
You bring out emotions in me i never had before,
Anger
Utter contempt,
Blind rage.
I lay in bed yelling at the celling,
"*******, *******, *******"
you broke me like i've never been broken before.
creativity,
emotionally,
you've broken me.
you say you are sorry.
then fix it.
fix this damage you've done to me.
don't just say sorry and go on your mary life.
Sorry doesn't make everything better.
what kills me is that you can lean on him,
and I have no one.
you dragged me through hell.
seems like it's gonna get harder before it gets easier.
even though you've put me all of this,
I still love you.
I still love you, and it kills me I can't have you.
Because you gave me something no one else ever could,
and I don't even know what it was.
it was something I feel like I can't get anywhere else.
you were my drug of choice,
now I'm having withdrawals.
I don't even know how to feel
I just know I'm broken.

It's been months
I can't write a single word
riffs are easy
explaining feelings
complex emotions.
Not happening
useless.

it use ot be easy
i could woo women with a few chords
now its silly
i feel silly
its all *******
these fingers cant seem to write
these fingers cant seem to love
i deserve no one.
nothing
**** it

She's different then most
that's what I like
she's odd
that's what I like
she says and thinks things others would never ponder
I wish she was mine
I wish it everyday
she's such a major part of my life
I would be withered without her
I would do anything to remain by her side
I want to express my feelings
feelings,
what a horrid thing these are
blinding us from reality
then making the impossible
possible

She will see
my affection
my desire
everything
I have taken her good and bad
and her me
I wonder if she knows of this blinding desire
growing
every day
every second

You are the dream
with all your faults
in my eyes you are perfection
complete perfection.

I would trade it all to be yours
and you mine
it all means nothing
compared to you

Compared to you
heaven is hell
light is dark

Every moment I spend with you
is the single best moment of my life
every smile
every laugh
priceless
you are priceless

You see threw all my *******
and see the true me
the one I'm scared to show
the one I frear the world will reject
you see it
and accept it
you accept me

I will never be able to repay
what you've given to me