The West is drowning in vanity.
The East is lost to greed.
If only the middle was a content place.
But if the Mississippi drowned me, I wouldn't be surprised.
Just another place where I would lose myself in a world that doesn't know where to put me.

I've had the hardest time trying to be a man, the one my father taught me to be. I never understood why he was always so tired, but now I've been searching for sleep for the past three years. The bags under my eyes are the same as his, and I thank him every day for the pride he's given me in a world full of distances and disrespect.

I've laid tracks in my head that will take me anywhere.

Anywhere

But I can't bring myself to take a step.
I have nothing packed in a bag,
and it's not that I need to many things.
I just don't know what I have that's worth the trip.
I have fears that hold me back.

Next to me are people clad in black,
lost in a reverie that you gave us.
There are strong women doubled over,
and men who can't hide their drowned eyes with a stern face.
They've all known you and have
shared memories that I'll never know.
But one thing I do know,

I met a man once
in a field of chaos.
And he taught me about happiness.

Every few years I feel the need to see what else is out there.
In the past, it has caused my friends to grow up, while I reset and spin in the same circuit redundantly.
Every time I hear about their lives and success, I smile and shed a tear.
Every single one of them has deserved the respect and happiness they have found.

I don't live in regrets, and I'm not jealous or green.

I just know my life is different, and I still have things to earn.

I don't care if it takes years away from me, I've always believed that the end didn't matter.
Live every day not for the future, my father always told me.

And everyday I spend here, I've never been happier.

You remind me of the fall, when I don't mind spending my days sitting in the shade. With my coffee and smoke, I spend all my time thinking about all of the days to come.
With you, I can smell the leaves that fall so the trees can get ready for winter.
The amber, melon, and dusk rainbow that blows across our view.

Most think it's a time of dying and fading glory.

But to me, it's renew. When everything starts again and you can leave the wrongs behind you. You can shed the worries off your shoulder as you would bad dandruff.

I think about the next year and what I can do with my time. It always seems like I have as much time as I need. Too much time, almost. I don't worry about overbooking or time constraints.

That is when I am happiest. When I'm sitting in the shade.

With you.

I've never held any stock in aesthetics.
What mattered to me was the sweat and tears that I bleed that help
push those I love to higher ground.

I'd take on any storm, cut or break any bone to make sure
others can see you.

I haven't been a kid since the 90s,
because my life just didn't work out that way.
It has caused me to think too much.
But if you knew the burdens I carry,
then you'd know why I'm timid, broken and careful.