Gabby O

Gabby O Jan 2014

Perhaps it was a slip of the tongue
a mistaken word, a misplaced pun
but the syllables were defined
pronounced so clearly
that I almost didn't hear it over the sound
of two hearts beating
yours and mine
in tune with each silent breath you took
as the air between us softened
at the touch of your words

Gabby O Jan 2014

Shallow

One
Have you taken your meds today?
You're drinking your anxiety like an alcoholic swallows gin
And I can see the panic in your shaking hands
but the only healing is filled with anti-depressants and sleeping pills
and numbness makes you feel like a corpse

Two
You've gotten a new scar
you show me with wet eyes
And I pretend I don't notice
Because I might just end up shouting
Because I hate that you can't stop
Because I hate that I can't understand
And you think that I didn't care

Three
You look so alone
and I try to come closer
but you've torn a gap so wide between us
that my screams sound like echoes of yours
and I couldn't find a way to reach you
so I stopped trying

Four
You called me heartless
not with your voice but you screamed it in your movement
I felt it in every corner of my mind when I stopped spinning
and all I could think about was you
and I couldn't hate you for your cruelty
because you don't understand what you've done to me

Five
I felt you crashing
not right beside me but a million miles away
and you fought so hard
but couldn't keep up
you said you'd handle it
I should've known you were lying
and now I can't hug you like I used to
and you no longer show me your scars

Not quite towards any one person, nor about any one thing.

Gabby O Dec 2013

Valuable

What of the broken
the dull
the old

What of the useless
the few
the dim

Do we call them gems?
For their vintage is value
or are they garbage
their rust is their death

but it's only ever
one or the other
and I wonder if we
are the same as the broken
the same as the dull
the same as the old

Perhaps we grow useless
and few
and dim

and we someday become
one or the other

Gabby O Dec 2013

Metal Man

My darling
how I wish you loved me
how I wish you felt for me
how I wish you knew me
and although I hear your words
echo in me
and oh how sweet they sound
how I wish I believed you
how I wish those were your words
how I wish those words were meant for me

But the sky grows dim my darling
and your eyes
shining mirrors
seeing without showing
a mere reflection of nothing
and mine
slowly fading
as I can simply die
and you can simply forget
but your honesty saves you

But you will try
by god, you will try
my Pinocchio, you will try
and I cannot say
that I was not warned
yet I still fell
and you still caught me
and the fault for this dance
one I know I won't finish
is mine alone
and your beauty saves you

But my darling
my love
you tell me to leave
because you know you cannot love me
because you know you want to love me
but you let me hurt
and I hate you
and I hate you
but your innocence saves you

And when I look at you
I wish I could save you.

To the man that has no feelings, yet has so much heart.
Not about Pinocchio.
I'm so sorry.

Gabby O Dec 2013

Arrogance

Call me arrogant
and before you pull out
the bible verse on humility
let me save you the trouble
I've read it

so call me a Pharisee
but I've paid my dues
and the damage is done
but arrogance
I'd love to call it my friend
but it's a lie if it's anything
other than my mistress

There's no name for the trials
the errors and successes
no name for how I feel
when they surround me
consume me
and my whole life
becomes the comparing
and contrasting
of two human hues
of win and lose
because when I win
I see it in bold colors
shining brighter than the losses
if only to dim their light
if only to wipe the record
because arrogance only works
if there's no one to notice the flaws

I thought of this in a car while I was both sad and filled with caffein so. Have my brain ****.

— The End —