You are my biggest yes-
and my strongest no.

One day
a million miles,
a million years,
a million thoughts,
and a million lessons away,

We'll see one another again
We'll bump into one another on the street
Or Ill drop' my purse
and you'll help me pick it up
or you'll hold the door open
not realizing at first-
the very person-
you are giving favor too
is the one person you owe favor
to the most

and serendipitously,
or auspiciously,
depending on who's
window
you are viewing
this from
your's would be the former
and mine the latter
we meet again.

And this time its sweet
but its aftertaste is
faintly bitter,
as if the ingredients
are just not
quite,
what they should be
because-
in your eyes is the sorrow
and finally the understanding
of the million glimpses of me-
I gave to you,
and how you never really took the
time to appreciate
any single one
and so in this moment
all the things you wished
not to see
became all you could
see

all the little doors
i granted you access to
were blown wide open
in realization
of the we
we could have been
and the
effervescent regret
bubbled beneath your surface
and in what seemed to
be
a last attempt
to access those
hidden pieces of me
you lay the pieces of you
on the cement
in the middle of the street
unknowing-
that those little whispers in the dark
those sparks of veracity
i gave you so swiftly
a lifetime ago
were no longer yours to behold

and in that moment
in the middle of the street
a million miles
a million years
a million thoughts
and a million lessons away,
you looked into the eyes
of what very well could have been
your future
but then I turned away
and looked into the eyes of my future,
a future I never would have
had the chance to find
if I was the the future
you had chose.

The name leaks like mercury
as it falls from their lips,
Twisting me up in treacherous vine
my soul takes the hit,

There's a thunderstorm inside me,
A violent ocean in its wake
The waves keep getting bigger,
and the emotions hard to take

Theres a wolf deep down inside me
Howling at the moon
Giving fit to sorrow,
relief comes none too soon

There is a blackness inside me,
waiting to release
The dark clouds keep gathering
never seeming to cease

While I am left with inner turmoil
you are greeted with none the same
You are gifted with a calm indifference,
at the mention of my name

Dear silly boy,

As sad as I am for me, I am more sad for you
I don't think you understand what you had to lose.

You won't get it today and probably not tomorrow
But time will teach you a lesson and you'll fall victim to true sorrow
You keep yourself estranged from every real emotion. For you Actual true love- is a preposterous idea and you a victim of it- is even more so.
But-
One day you'll see- All I had to give. All i was willing to share. The value of that love . And when you do it will be too late. Only then will you understand
all that was in your possession-

the crux of it is
it will no longer be yours to possess
And by denying yourself that you'll recognize you did the very thing you thought you were protecting yourself from:
Being Vulnerable.
Being able to be hurt.

That was the true difference between you and me.
I gave in. I was hurt.
It did break me. But I learned how to pick up my pieces. I learned to fix myself.
I felt that grief, I evolved past it.
You never allowed yourself to do the same.
Because of this- I feel more sad for you then I ever will for me

Sincerely,
The Girl You Should Have Loved

do you ever see a glimpse of someone
or just a flash of personality
or a habit
or a gesture or a thought
and for a fleeting moment you're like wow I'm so attracted to you
Maybe those are just pieces
just pieces of all the things that you will someday come to love about a person
and each fleeting moment of attraction will just hit you all at once
right when you find the person you're meant for
like everything has added up
and voila- here you are,
Ive been seeing you all along

We are perpetually stuck
In a game we both made
Both changing the rules each time that we play
Hoping to win but knowing we'll lose
Keep losing each point we're trying to prove.

You hide your emotions behind a veil of deceit
Wanting me to surrender and lay at your feet
But if I give you what you think you want
This game is over before it really got to start

You're afraid to show how you really feel
I do the same, It's part of this deal.
If one shall win, then both shall lose
So we dance around pretending to use

Playing this game is all of the fun
When we lose our fire we're really done
So you fake left and I fake right
Holding on for one more night.

She lays her heart-
in the palm of his hand
Hoping he will not crush it
Yet-
knowing he can

Little does she know
His hands are stained-
by blood of others
Those who have done the same

The saying is play with fire you get burned,
but why does the temptation have to be so great?
I'm the moth and your the flame and we know how this story ends.
The flame burns on and me? The moth? well its never seen again.

Brave and fearless in each step she takes,
heads turn to catch a glimpse of her grace ,
Blinds you with one glimpse of her tantalizing gaze,
Surrounded by peculiarity she goes far to amaze,
She knows all the secrets that bring you disgrace,
So you must bask in her beauty and delight in her tenace-
Always her victim in this inescapable place-
Fate is the ***** that wins this race.

why in this world when there's such a promise for good do we make such a strong commitment to hate?
Why do we shakes our heads at an opportunity for positive change
yet remain firm in our dedication to negativity?

I have my whole life in front of me.
While this should comfort me, it doesn't.
I know my passions.
I know my convictions.
But will I maintain my sense of North as I continue to the future?
Will I be able to find that place within me  where my values and my passions meet?
Will I be able to use this place as a foundation for the rest of my life?
Theres no absolution.
No security.
I'm at the mercy of life and-
I hope along my way
all of these jumbled pieces of me will somehow all fall into place.
But until they do-
Here I am.
Stuck.
Between who I am now and who I will be.

you'll hear no more than yes in your life,
a sad fact but a true one,
so my god why do we hold on to those no's?
sometimes we have to realize the things that we think are good for us-
aren't.
And those that we always thought would be there to lean on-
won't be.
The only person you can depend on is you
and the only person who will help you accomplish what you want-
is the same person that you know won't leave your side-
You.