So beautiful, so flawless
Every time I'm away I just think of ideas
Think of things to say when I see you
I'll think I have them all planned out
But once in your presence I choke
To scared to attempt a to make a move
For I am not worthy of a goddess such as you
But it is a start, and for the first time
I think I felt happiness
And it came from you
That is why one day I will find the right words
That could give you an idea about how I feel
You've given me hope, and joy
Simply by being yourself
For this I am forever grateful
And one day I will return the favor
Some day, some how

So because my mind works differently then yours,
You label me mentally ill
You want to take me out of society
You want to hype me up on mind blocking medication
Well I tell you this my friends
My mind is a beautiful place
Dark but beautiful
Who's to say I'm not the normal one?
Who's to say my brain isn't reaching full potential, and yours is not?
I'm no more dangerous than the next man
I will not have it
**** your labels
**** your medication
**** your judgement
Join me in my world
And you will see the beauty that is *schizophrenia

The only thing to bring me happiness
The only thing that chills the burns front his world
The only thing I can count on
You're not evil like society believes
Simply just misunderstood
Just like me
The only thing I actually love
In this **** up world I live in
You get be through the struggles,
Of everyday life
I would be dead by my own doings
If it weren't for your numbing highs
I envy you,
Because you are loved by millions
And you love us back
So I thank you,
I thank you for giving me life
For saving my life
I can never say it enough,
Even though you never reply back
I say it every day,
Thank you, for saving my life

There's nothing you can tell me,
That I haven't already told myself
I know it's all in my head
I know that ultimently I control my happiness
I know it's all my choice
But when nothing goes your way
It's just easier to be sad
It's easier to do drugs
It's easier to hate
It's easier to give up
It's easier to think about the negatives
Because in the end
I'll be sad again
Because life is full of dead ends,
And disappointments

So why waste time looking for happiness?
Why get my hopes up,
Only to fall in to a deeper and darker hole then I was in before?
Why bother living,
When in the end we are going to die anyway?
Everything you work for
Everything you strive to achieve
Everything you thought was important
None of it matters
Because we die
And we are forgotten

I have all the reasons to be happy
Yet I am still sad
I have all the teachings to do good
Yet I am still evil
I have all the signals to be found 
Yet I am still lost
I have all the support to be clean
Yet I am still getting ****** up
I have all the opportunities to make it
Yet I am still doing nothing
I have all the health to be alive 
Yet I am still dead.

"What are you waiting for?"
"Do it"
"Pull the trigger"

I am not sick
But my mind burns like fire
Contemplating the littlest things in life
Cold metal pressed to my temple
Trying to chill my mind
I have no control over it
As it runs a little to wild
A little to free
Hope that I can someday get a grip on my own thoughts
Keeps me from painting a portrait of my mind on my wall

But how long can one hope?

All I can compare you to is a cigarette
I know with every drag I take
I come a little closer to death
And I love every drag I take
I love knowing that I'm okay with it,
Okay with you killing me slowly
I can't shake my addiction
Even if it in the end it means death
I am destine to die with or with out your help
In painful memory of your cold soul
I ignite the flame
And put fire to my death
And take yet another drag
Waiting for it to **** me
One after another,
Chain smoking to speed up the process
Hoping that death is a happier place
Than being alive and alone