My desire pushes everyone away. I don't want to push anyone away. I am attracted to people who do not want anything serious. They only want to play. I care so much that it becomes desperation. In attempt at love seems missed and I am left with regret and rejection. So what's the point in looking when there is no one there for me. Only that of some cocky, better than me man. Missed opportunity, missed chance but was it ever.

I come to work to be greeted by a bunch of prideful people. There superior gazes make me uncomfortable. I asked one what is for lunch? the response classic "Puh, I don't have time to respond to that" I looked at them disgusted by the answer provided. I have to remind my self to be calm and be respectful even when someone test me. At some point in mid life people seem to get grumpy. I have to work really hard to stay joyful.

Sometime's when I am Here. I can't stand it, but lately you bring me joy underneath this tree trunk and roots that fall from the sky, it is a wonderful place at times and at times I want to escape. When I am gone I slightly dread the drive here but once I am here sourrounded by all this magic and all these complex characters that are flustered and that are joyful  or emotional. I will truly miss it.