It started with quiet sobs
Into my pillow every night
Next thing i know
My loud screams are fading into the same pillow
With my face buried in it

It started with tears streaming down my face
Three deep breaths and I'm calming myself
Its okay

I'm boiling with rage
Everything, anything I could get my hands on
Are splattered across the floor
There's glass every where

Three deep breaths
I calm myself
It's okay

I wrap my lips around him,
I set fire to him, I take a drag.
His every kiss leaving me breathless. 
Over and over again,
to burn from a love that isn't yours.

Knife after knife
twisted and turned
inside of me.

It's quite exhausting you see
being constantly
ripped apart.

I fall in love with
the cigarette between their teeth,
the messy hair,
the void in their hearts,
the empty words that spill from their lips.

I fall in love with
the white lies,
kisses on my neck,
promises they cannot keep.

I fall in love with the darkness around them
like the nights I break down and cry.

Maybe one day I'll understand why
I chase the things that tear me apart

When I saw you
amidst the clouds of colour  
my flesh, my bones, my soul
yearned to know
the vibrant hues of your soul

And when my green stained hands
touched your cheeks,
I knew I had touched them before,
in another time, some other life.

Red-rimmed eyes
from sleepless nights,
Shoulders heavy
from the weight I carry,
into the shadows I will soon fade,
along with the demons inside of me.

Would I be missed?
I won't sit and wonder.
I'll call my last breath
a sigh of relief.
My soul will rest easy
when I'm ten feet  under.

Raging waves crash at my feet
taking me away to the great sea.
With no energy left in me to swim anymore,
I drown, I sink, I float back to the shore.

I walk around drenched and cold,
above me are the grey clouds that never leave.
Thunder claps near my ears,
lightening strikes straight to my heart.
You'll never find a rainbow in me,
for the storm never ends with me.