I risked it all just to watch it burn. I thought this house of cards would never fall down, you were the breeze to knock us both off our feet.
My stomach hurts and I feel sick, it's probably just this empty feeling I seem to get, when I'm up at 5am. This summer air just got to my house, the king of hearts is blowing out of bounce. My body feels numb, this pit feeling in my stomach is starting to grow old. I've had too much doubt on my mind. It seems unfair to think this was even, I was clueless to see I was the one left in the past. Hang me up to dry when the storm hits, I’ll find a reason to keep you till this is all fixed. Your breath smells like cherries and I’m sick to my stomach wishing we were alright. I still see the same girl from the other night. Your face cuts deep and leaves marks in my veins, maybe I cared too much. Maybe I don’t try hard enough. I still find pieces of you in the books I read. Your face fills the empty pages, I'm left with a bittersweet feeling. I want to find a new home. I find myself leaving my problems behind. Looks like I was the one you left behind.

Nothing is the same, everything has changed. The window seal in my car seems more familiar then the feeling of acceptance and I can feel the distance when she tells me she loves me and she'll half fake a smile so I'll think we're okay.

This isn't fair to me, when I'm having difficulty breathing someone will pass by and kick me in the lungs and I'll have yet to feel the same amount of pain from when you told me you wanted a break. No one could see that we could not try and I've never felt so lost and alone but I still manage not to cry.

The weather is getting colder and my body is getting more numb, so I'll light a fire and hope I don't burn down these bridges we built so high. These reoccurring cycles of feeling up and down have made my stomach weak. They say old wounds tend to show, well my bones aren't getting any stronger and my body is starting to break. This feeling of bittersweet love has taken a toll on me these night. And I'm left laying alone in bed getting caught up in these late night thoughts that destroy my mind.

I've been through self infected pain to try and feel alive again, but really these scars leave the distant memory of when I just tried to find myself again. My reflection tells a story if only you would listen you'd see I'm just as broken as the day you left.

You're an abandoned home in the late Fall. Your walls look like the veins in my eyes. I've been awake this whole time. Last night I stared at my ceiling trying to fall asleep but the pain in my chest kept me up again.

I haven't slept well in half a year, I started seeing things. I don't want to be awake anymore. I want to lay on my floor and I want to feel myself drift into a deep sleep. I want to nail my eyelids shut so I know they'll never open again.

You're the abandoned home I took shelter in. You keep me up at night. The closest thing I get to sleep is my daydreams of these arms I held her in. It's winter and I'm still not winning this fight.

Tonight I will lie awake and stare my ceiling trying to fall asleep. The nails in my eyelids pierced my ambition and I watched as it bled on my pillow sheets.

You are the abandoned home in the summer that found comfort underneath the ground. Your walls are as shattered as my head. That was when I knew she had been found. That was when I knew no one wanted me around.

I had myself convinced that we were going to be okay. I know it's fun to pretend. Just please don't wash me away, I'm not the stain on your dress and I'm not the mess in your head.

I still hear your voice in the back of my head, and it eats away at my soul every time I try to go to bed. So I just lie here in hopes that some day comes soon and my bones begin to rot and my body sinks into the earth so maybe I'll finally start to feel alive.

I can feel you forgetting me, and it hurts more than the wounds I cut open when you said you'd always be there for me. And I can feel you in my blood, so I let the blood from my wounds spill on the floor hoping I could get you out of my system. I guess this is what it takes to get over you. But I still find myself enjoying you, even though you're not around.

This isn't as easy as it seems, your smile left scars in my head and I wish I could forget you but I don't want to. I want to hold on to the times we had because there all I have. You gave me a beautiful life and I wish I could grow from this but I will only fall from this. I still have your letters hanging on my wall, they're a constant reminder not to fall in love.

I'm sorry I'm so sorry all the time, maybe being nice isn't as nice as it seems. I'm so hopeless it may seem, I wish I could take back all the words I said but you left and now I'm the one alone in this bed and ******* it hurts my head to know I'm still alive when I said to god, "I wish I was dead."

There's an empty space in the chair you used to call yours, now I'm alone in a home built for two and here's where I'll stay incase you decide you want to be apart of it too.

I felt the memory of you fade away and I forgot what it was like to have so much pain be washed away. You are the stain on my shirt, you are the mess in my head.

There's an empty feeling in my stomach and it's making me sick. I've got a bad feeling about the end of this week. I've spent so much time trying to burry my sorrows down deep that I forgot to pick myself back up. I must have gotten stuck because I haven't been able to sit straight since I last slouched down, it's probably just the weight of my emotions pushing me to the ground.

What will I have to give in order to place my head above the clouds? My arms and legs are worth nothing when I'm not capable of getting out of my own bed. I've said a couple fake prayers hoping that maybe someone will hear me cry. It's been a crazy week and I haven't gotten much sleep, I'm just ready for it to pass by. So I can say goodbye to my demons that tend to follow me when I'm trying to sleep.

They pick away at my head, but maybe I'm just scared to let my demons go cause they're the only ones I have left and I'm not ready to be alone. I'm not ready to let go so I continue to let them in and ruin me. I'll destroy myself if that's what it'll take to be fine again.

There's an empty feeling in my stomach and it's starting to feel like home. I don't know where my heart is, but I know my demons won't let me be alone.

I watered the roses in your garden and gave them the life you and I both wish we had. The sun shined bright that morning and I swear I saw it pierce a hole in my skin. You could see right through my hand and I could see right through your eyes, we both lied to make ourselves feel alive.

I saw a bird break its wing and fall to the ground it reminded me of the time I broke my arm. The thought of breaking my bone gave me a rush and made me think of the time we broke this love we so willingly give away. This pain cuts deep and so does pretending I'm still alive, but the sun isn't gray so until that time maybe I'll find a way to get by.

There is a fire in my stomach that doesn't tend to leave, it sparks and burns and whines while I grieve. The roses in your garden died and so did my insides. I guess this is what being hollow feels like.

This grief adds weight to the pain I hold, at some point in my life I have to stop trying to be so bold and take a hold of my life. The sun doesn't seem to shine so bright anymore, the hope I lack came back and tied a rope around my neck, so now I'll let my weight do its fait and set me free.

Fill the space between our skin, you fill the void inside my head, I’m catching up with my breathing. I’m starting to remember when I used to wish I were dead. We’re all dying so please don’t make me beg, I want to spend my nights in bed with you staring at my ceiling and get inside each other’s head.
The weather is getting warmer but my body still feels cold. I’m stuck in this city I no longer wanna be inside, when I’m with you I don’t feel the need to hide behind these four walls built by pride. I miss hearing the rain hit the window in my room, at least then I could sleep. I’ve spent my nights watching time to go and I’ve spent this time alone. I can’t bring myself to eat, my stomachs grown weak from feeling up and down this past week.
Bash my head into the wall, I’ll remember the start of it all. When I was just waste of space, being destroyed by the demons inside my head. Back when I wished I was dead, I know I’m not alone cause these demons follow me everywhere that I go. I’ve covered up this hurt and I’m ready to go, spend your nights with me and let me get inside your head. I always see you in my sleep, you made a home in my dreams. Don’t be another demon haunting me in my sleep