We are all porcelain dolls,
Living in doll houses.
So don't be alarmed if you end up with a few scratches,
Or a few cracks,
Because it is impossible to remain intact,
Through it all.

I am the Saturday evenings and the Sunday morning hangovers.
I am loud laughs with friends on the weekends and silent numbness alone on the weekdays.
I am jealousy on a friday night, when my friends would rather spend time with each other than with me, and I am forgiveness and understanding the day after, realizing I don't blame them, I wouldn't want to hang out with myself either.
I am a heap of heaving sobs and aching limbs every night.
I am self-hatred every hour of every day.
I am fear, I am sadness, I am desperation, I am a mess.
I am my worst enemy and my best friend all at once and I am still trying to figure myself out.

We
sat there
smoking cigarettes
at
5
in the morning