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560 · Mar 2011
The Dancing Human
Freds not dead Mar 2011
She, wild like society
And as hungry as Nature
Equally as involved and caring,
Touched
Him, as gray as Everyman,
As backwards as time
Not so wrapped up in language,
Shuddered.

She, the color of life
And wrapped up in nothingness,
Waiting for a biblical excuse
And stayed,
For him, tattooed with mathematics,
Never more than a balancing act,
Like a male Cinderella
Like a broken mirror made of steel,
Looked like looking through the ashes
Of history,
In a feverish need
To find the pendulum of
Good and Evil
With equal lust.

She says,
I know you dream
Trailing after cloud
And trying to breathe the world-

There is no such thing
Just chemical formulas

-with that she was pleased
And fell asleep
Dreaming only in pictures
With no sound
or music

And outside
Some kind of wind must have
Become real.
551 · Mar 2011
For People
Freds not dead Mar 2011
People will love it
               When and if they can relate
I wake up and force oatmeal down
Drink the bright lights and orange juice
Press my fingers in my face
Mold it into whatever I am that day
Jump of the balcony and start anew

People want to see themselves in it
Your hair is all over the pillow
You’re light years away
Your clothes hang like vultures in the morning noise
I grab the heaviness of evil deeds
And force it into your mouth
Swallow and disappear

People want it to be universal
We are giddy trapeze artists
We can burn the house down with our hearts
We can blow the candles out
Wish for a flood
Wish for rain, a baptism forced
Wish for tomorrow dressed in its best threads
Wrapped
up
lightly.
542 · Mar 2011
April 13th: the bursting of
Freds not dead Mar 2011
Alone he woke. The cold bed meant nothing. Real fingers, real light cutting through the real denseness. Today will be marked with an X.
Wide eyed, blood turned to kerosene.
531 · Mar 2011
I Can if I Can’t See
Freds not dead Mar 2011
I want to know
My negations
(as everyone does)
but I can’t
and to deny demons and devils
is to feed them
to negate the life-angels
is always in need of them
(and in want we are)
you know how arrogant you have to be to think you deserve them?
You know how much effort it takes for them to come down?
Do you know how heavy you are?
     ?
     ?     (victims of victims)
             (victims of victims
(victims of victims
(victims of victims)
Everything these days is brighter
And clearer and people bloat in it
Stuffed to death with laughter and
Harmony and the real world
             (where)
There are shadows of/and thin saints
Who dwell in emptiness and blue tears
In drugs and ******* /chemistry
In rented rooms and inhuman anatomy
of/ and mouths covered in duct-tape
(Regard-less)
I want to reach the meaninglessness
Between yes and no which is eye-open and eye-shut
I want to fall
In love with you but that’s a bad wish at a cheap funeral
(we go struggling back and forth on living)
460 · Mar 2011
Most Days
Freds not dead Mar 2011
I just close my eyes and
Wait for people to appear
Vines entangling me
Letting me stay right where I want
Most
Of you
Go upwards
Striving for beautiful things
Like happiness
And virtue
Christmas Gifts
And big big candles

But I sit making my own light
To line up the long shadows
In theory and in thought
And I can’t desire
Blindly
So most of you say

I need movement into or out of
And in and out of
But I am more virtuous than you
In my filth and my invented songs
Than you ever will be
In your pink houses
And your green roads

Because I have found something
That doesn’t lie inside me
(or all of you)

I have found
That every time I open my eyes
Everything is there
Open-wide and ready to be
Taken
419 · Mar 2011
Seeker
Freds not dead Mar 2011
There you are
               The warm whiskey falling off your forearm
                                       Falls into her mouth
                         It will transform her
  You’re already done changing
                                  Her hair will turn red
                                  Her eyes green just for you

There you are again
                        All you ever wanted was
                                 The un-devouring fire
                        The amber more black than crimson
  You pick your skin from under her nails
               You suffocate the burning in the sink
Oh god

There you are
             And you meant to tell her
                      You’re sick in the head
            But instead you scared her away
                    While cooking breakfast you cut your hand
And lost even more skin

— The End —