She, wild like society
And as hungry as Nature
Equally as involved and caring,
Touched
Him, as gray as Everyman,
As backwards as time
Not so wrapped up in language,
Shuddered.

She, the color of life
And wrapped up in nothingness,
Waiting for a biblical excuse
And stayed,
For him, tattooed with mathematics,
Never more than a balancing act,
Like a male Cinderella
Like a broken mirror made of steel,
Looked like looking through the ashes
Of history,
In a feverish need
To find the pendulum of
Good and Evil
With equal lust.

She says,
I know you dream
Trailing after cloud
And trying to breathe the world-

There is no such thing
Just chemical formulas

-with that she was pleased
And fell asleep
Dreaming only in pictures
With no sound
or music

And outside
Some kind of wind must have
Become real.

Life is a thing to drag around
The same one that sticks in your throat
Let’s you spend the night in jail
Sometimes life wakes you in the night
And let’s you know you were dreaming
The crooked smiling moon too
The bottle emptied
Life is roaring inside you
It is painting your inside
Cutthroat colors
It’s telling you to fear the shade
It’s telling you to be light-obsessed
Scared of substance

Life is that balloon tied to your wrist
It stays in abeyance
It floats, but never away, it’s yours and red
And shows itself in transparency
Life changes with the wind
It lives through
Even shot through with bullets
The inside leaves
But the skin remains

In the veins of all
It is found in tiny portions
You can't see, hear, feel, taste, smell it
But ******* you know it.

Tamed not
I cannot believe in this beating so much
Let rot
We need to calculate this, we’re *******

You Lady Laz-
No, you my Plath
With your heart in reverse
Your hand on mine
On the relation gears
Your lover and his shadow’s near

You cruel shrew
You insatiable cage of bones
******* like a goddess at daybreak
I do love you.

This, my confessional
This, my pornographic revival
Eat me
**** the air out of my
Thin second coming
**** the miracle marrow
Of my bones, make a soup
Say a spell, yell, melt.

A mouth like a witch
Hands for my itch
Bit chiseled by bit
Us, lower in an atmosphere
Hidden from the house on the hill
Hands full of placebo-***-pills
Tiny wrists shaking in fear

Tamed not
The muddied housewife
The war plot
The trapped door trigger shot

God is love
Love is biochemical
Love is the bathroom stall

Holes everywhere
In the walls
In everyone
In the suspension
I cannot believe
In at all

With my hands on the back of your neck
I see the crackling raising erecting
Of your swan skin
My thoughts are gasping for breath
       Going upwards in the
            Filling shame
War and city battles, apartment bullets
Motel room fiascos, jigsaw pounding passion

With my body cutting you down the center like a diamond
I’m breaking you into formlessness
Jagged like clean glass
I’ll pray to your white scars
              I’ll reinvent myself
Come out of the still lake
             Cleanse myself in black oil
Lips like razor blades, teeth like wet wings
       Innards on the pillow case, on the
Boring walls, on the idols

With your hands around my neck, your fingers in my mouth
Cheating life out of life
Taking it out on one another
                    Bruised peaches bleeding on the ****** scene
Dead red balloons left over, molding cake
Boot marks on the white rug
I want you puritanical, *****
We’re finished
We’re glowing
Lifted up waiting
for the floor.

Please let me fit inside your paintings
The ones where the telephone wires are
Standing like towers over the burning orchards
Naked lovers wrapping themselves in picnic blankets
Holding white wine.
Make me last.
Let me be a fossil in the dust of your bones
So they can date me back to this ice age
They make fake snow you know

Remember I dented your car that night
Pushed up in metal your tiny
Thighs reflecting our disturbance
You dared

Please let me fit inside your whitewashed molds
Make a cast of my head, fill my eyes with lead
Coat my organs in liquid plastic, make me your favorite piece
A real beauty of a dead man
Display me in the store windows of history
Make vulture that can’t eat me
Make worms that can’t get to me
Make me famous.

We dug holes in the night
The earthen wombs trying to hide
Our dead futures. Make these tombs
Swallow faster. We dug holes in the light like blackholes
In the blackblue.
Make me antimatter
Make me matter.

People will love it
               When and if they can relate
I wake up and force oatmeal down
Drink the bright lights and orange juice
Press my fingers in my face
Mold it into whatever I am that day
Jump of the balcony and start anew

People want to see themselves in it
Your hair is all over the pillow
You’re light years away
Your clothes hang like vultures in the morning noise
I grab the heaviness of evil deeds
And force it into your mouth
Swallow and disappear

People want it to be universal
We are giddy trapeze artists
We can burn the house down with our hearts
We can blow the candles out
Wish for a flood
Wish for rain, a baptism forced
Wish for tomorrow dressed in its best threads
Wrapped
up
lightly.

Everyone around me
      I guess I’m at the center
Is coughing, coughing in the warm sunny day
                        The blue bright happy day
They cough like they dig at life
They cough the toy-factory worker’s cough
The cough dressed in summer dresses
In high heels and red shoes and tuxedoes
Cough up wine cough up cheers and congratulation
Cough out their
“don’t worry about it” sickness
cough out pop songs, cough up boppin’ along
cough out vows and Hallmark poetry
cough deathbed knock-knock jokes
“it’s me, Death, coming for your blue-eyed boys”
cough out laughter like phlegm
cough up black bile as a party trick
cough up recollection of stuffed animals
(you and I are in there)
gasp for breath, their faces filling up with blood
going from apple-red to royal purple
eyes dishing out tears
a pat on the back
and everything is okay
people are wrong
about the center holding.