I'm not insane,
I'm just in pain
not the kind that hurts, however, the kind that stains
and washes us away like blood in a heavy rain
but we all go on pretending we were born to reign,
to forget our life is meant to live and die in vain,
a truth made all too plain
by Adam's sons, Abel and Kane

So see, I'm not insane, for it's all been written,
from the beginning, we were born beaten,
and the powers that be, the big fat men,
they all laugh and call us heathens

Is it any wonder this is where my years rests?
Gathering words to uncover my best,
whilst I lie to myself that I hold no regrets.

In truth, this is my cry for help;
a silent wind carrying my yell,
a yell that every ear would have repelled.

So I banish my hope in a heroic's depth,
for every hero I conjure, an angel to save myself,
and every villain, a demon to take my breath.
And to this grim reality, I surrender what's left.

I never wanted to be me;
My skin, it kills,
and my glare cuts deep.

I never wanted to reap,
whether to oblivion or divinity.

all I've ever wanted was to be free,
to make my own path; to be just me.

But life has ****** me to see cruelty feed,
to strip me of mourn, to strip me of fear.

So I pray and hope when end is near,
my fate as death will disappear.

I am like a crow without a ******,
fated eternal nights to fill with wonder,
My wings are not weak, but I cannot leave the ground,
it is my mind that is the weight that holds me down.
I am stranded in a realm I will not survive,
and the locals, well, all they do is criticize.

They will never understand the sights I've seen,
the great heavens above, like mount Olympus that makes earth obscene.

All I ask for is to again fly,
with red feathers bleeding from the sky,
but I am alone this night, and every other.
if this is punishment, when will it be over?

My story began in an old world, where I fell in love for the first,
I remember exactly the time when she quenched a thirst
I didn't know I had until it blinded me,
and from my fantasy, she set something unbelievable free

the world shifted to bring us to a collision course,
everything she was, her smile, her hair, her eyes, were the like of which beauty is sourced

We fell in love on Christmas eve,
and did what love commanded-- a promise never to leave
but her words were weak; they eventually broke
so I did what rationality had me, and hung from a ***** rope

In hell, where I thought I would meet the Devil,
instead, I met Ariel,
the arc angel of love,
"You denied life; you denied love," he said, with thunder roaring from above,
"You denied me"
"In place of eternal misery, You will be heaven's comedy,"

For my blasphemy, I was cursed me with the name "Cupid,"
I am to spend all walks of life spending love, but never feel it.

Dear, son
You may be nothing like me,
Or you may be my copy,
But always remember, you are not me,
And you should never aim to be

I'm sorry I had to choose your name,
And for that alone, I'll take the blame
But everything from here, whether my contrast or the same,
That is yours to claim.

But I do hope you are kind,
And I do know you are one of a kind,
and that is why your last name is not mine,
Don't fright, I am yours, and you are mine,

the sole reason is to give you a chance to be your own person,
Something of your mother's,  something of mine, but an entirely new version:
Your own thoughts, purpose, and vision,
Yet, with my instinct to make understanding the world a prime mission.

Take care of yourself, if I'm not here to do it for you,
Until then, I'll be waiting, and I know you will, too,
For you are my son, and if that means anything, it means you are no fool,
Be yourself, kiddo, whether the world think it's good or bad, alway be you.

Romance looks to the moon as an enticing goddess,
a figure of light, and a mysterious likeness,
but I know her for what she truly is;
she is devious,
an enchantress,
and a mistress,

she has robbed the sun of Gaia,
from the shoulders of Atlas,
as she takes what she claims, to leave my mind in blackness
her presence may be soothing and it may be calm,
but offers no more but struggle and war,
with the yawning in the west, the other side roars,
with the strength of a billion, maybe two, maybe more

for ideas, you may know, are far from secret,
and the thoughts of your days are, too, not sacred,
so enters the moon, the pale enchantress
to take what is mine, and what I created

I hate nothing more than a human that mistakes sickening delusion with power.
I could be wrong, and so could they, but their arrogance is strongly manifested.
What's worst, they react like children when their logic is backed to a corner;
believing they were chosen from on-high, with purposes to our bested.

...stepped into the masquerade of life, the masked chaos we write, with message that we'll all be okay, all we really need is faith,
all the while keeping their truest honesty banished deep away.

But when the sun have given enough to earth's creatures,
when our only option is to give audience to Lethe,
will they finally respect nature,
or will they call onto their savior as the world ends their breathing ?

I know I promised I would call,
but i'd rather you believe me a liar than a coward,
and I'd rather have you hate me than control me.

I read your letter;
I could hear your words in it,
they were beautiful, as usual,
but no longer enchanting.
I know your game:
you're scared to be alone, so you cast a spell to drag me along.
But I broke it, your intoxicating...
your addicting taste.

I still have the collar,
the one you had bound my neck.
I guess some venom never leave the blood,
some memories never leave the mind.

If you're worried about me,
don't worry about me.
you see, I'm almost home,
and I've grown an addiction for being alone.
When mistress love draws too close,
remember, I was baptized in fire to cleanse my soul.

I poisoned my mind to think clearer,
I stabbed my heart to see the meaning of deader,
so no, let's not play the game "who's crazier,"
cause whatever you do, I promise you, I'll do better.

When your lips begin the words, "I miss..."
allow me, it was you who left me dismissed
so don't worry about me, love
even when it seems I'm falling from above
I'm not, I'm just flying upside down,
so you don't see me frown

In bullying noise, I was forced to grow into a boy.
There, I learned that truth and lie are the same,
Like the great Sphinx-a beast with my face.

That's the kind of world we are left to live in,
where to survive another day, we must hide deeper what's within:
the faceless smiles on the face of servers; the fake words spoken to make clever, and the grand gestures to buy favors.

I am not perfect, and I hate the word,
but at least I'm honest; at least my visage reflects the world.

We are all being hunted,
so, we run through time,
tripping who we were behind.

quickly, we stretch  our existence,
with foolery to save what's weakened.

But even then, even there, the rider follows,
gracefully hopeful to fill what's hollowed.

She is a reminder that all things, even pain, fades,
and we... well, our turn is long awaited.

Why is your love built like a Jenga tower?
Why does it fall when my perfection cowers?
I'm just a stain in time,
crafting the best of Prometheus' crime:
his fire, his wisdom, his immortal life,
this and more to make you my wife.

Why wouldn't I?
Why wouldn't I try?
I always hated goodbyes,
so i'll say hello in the sun,
and i'll smile, even if your answer leaves me stunned.

Talk to me loud; talk like you're not stone.
Let sing these words cluttering your bones.
Talk to me again and again and again.
Play that song in your heart til god see it banned.
Dance that dance you dance,
that smile under the moon that makes me want to sin.
Fill my heart with this danger.
Make love not my stranger,
and I am yours forever.

What should I compare you to?
Should I be Shakespeare, and compare you to the seasons?
Should I compare your eyes to the life of spring?
...your hair to the poetic autumn?
no
It's been done before.
So I'll compare you to memory,
because I will never forget you,
Though I know I will.

I remember war
I remember the last step from the door
I remember the bird that flew me by
and left me pondering the sky
I remember this feeling
The sun, the air, the smell I've been missing
I remember the sound
and the scream of my hometown
telling me I'm finally home
and I can rest these war-torn bones

I've tormented myself to stay afar
I rode the night with nothing but the stars
and a current of pulsating regrets
those I deeply fear I will not soon forget

I'm growing weary of this immortal loneliness
But everything I utter is rendered a mess
May I hear a last song to cure my strife?
your sweet melody, your divine light

Tell me I have lost
show me how much happiness cost
make me a soulless corpse
and I will forever flee from your thoughts

They say when your heart is broken,
the heart dies,
that is just a lie to heal a moment,
the truth is, the heart is well alive,
it sprouts like a tree, oozing blood, pain, and torment
you pretend you don't feel; you pretend you are petrified,
but you feel it: every stab, every burn, every torn tendon

So is Cupid's trickery,
so is the curse of love:
an immortalized heart to spend eternity in misery.

once upon a time into the heart of blindness
left an arrow at your behest
be you tiny Cupid or Artemis
your truest mark was not a miss
I felt your breath move in sin
and in weakness, I fear the descend
in more where eyes are baggage
where strong hearts are to be managed

Swept up beyond all clarity
my mind drowned in insanity
the more I resist the fight;
the more I valiantly suppose I'm all right;
the further away drew my life
you've impaled my innocence
and I have not been the same ever since

Have my appreciation for your beauty ruin me
Have my heart melt only again to freeze
Whatever the aftermath, whatever the cost, will you pay it with me?

If I promise to love you tonight and tomorrow, will you do the same?
Or will I again fall to the old ways

It doesn't matter
Or maybe I'm too tired to see what comes after
Maybe the fire will have me again
But to you, to love, I must attend

I will meet hell and the demons that homes it
I will pay the river shade in the tunic
Like brave Dante and wise Virgil
for your love, I will best the devil

When time stood on a minute
We were at last united
She looked up into the sky
where my face placed above a mile
and showered me with a smile
"Are you scared?" I whispered
my faith dreaded the answer
"Yes. I fell in love with you way too fast,"
she said at last
Another minute past
but I held it in its track

"I'm scared, too" I delivered uneasy
"You are," she said quickly
"Yes, petrified"
And another minute flied

"Promise me something," she moved closer in me
making my body her sanctuary
"What?" My emotions took care not to exclaim
"Whatever happens, we will always find a way,"
as she said, and I wish she stayed
"Look at me," I said with bravery,
"When I speak, you hear my voice; when I look, you see my eyes; and my face is naked of trickery."
She smiled with me
which we were both in need

"When do you leave to move in to your dorm?" I asked and ignored caution
"Tomorrow at nine," she said. "Tomorrow we start the beginning of our lives. Excited?"
"You start first. I won't see you for a month. I'm going to miss you so. But yes, I am ecstatic."
" I'm going to miss you, too. I love you," she breathed her last
and with her, the final minute, the sun collapsed

life is unified husks on a spec of dust
In all, no bigger than a solitary  thought
A planet, doomed inside, lost in space
spent life on a voyage to senselessness

the forging of words of distraction;
grouped together like a bouquet of attraction
the dances, the arts, a place to mend the heart
steps through the trial of time, and awakening minute pulls apart
Too far to ever be whole
still close enough to behold
It will never end; it has never begun
So, despite rage and war, no love will be won

It's almost one
still i'm awake
the day is gone
while I was away
inside your dream
I wish I stayed

you wore my name like it was yours
into your joy I saw no fault
has time made me your enemy?
has love made me your tragedy?
take me back to the dream
where my thoughts are still clean
Where your touch is still keen

I love you
I love you with the strength to conquer nations
I love you with the will of three hundred Spartans
I love you
I love you more than the grandeur of king Louis the fourteenth
I've loved you since I was sixteen
I love you
I love you more than Loki is mischievous
I love you more than the previous
Do you love me?

Replying...

"He is doomed"
"They will hate him"
"He is too different"
"They will massacre him the minute he's him"
"they are greed"
"They are hate"
"They will **** him"
"They will alienate him"
"There is no hope"

Your words stung with a fiery wind
That brushed my skin with its strings
"He is doomed"
"There is no hope"
You were right to fear
the humans and their spears
They woke like a wave
A hell of no escape
They pounded and pounded
the rage they mounted
Their words like a warning
to all those who are daring
They sparked a fire underneath
that raises when I breathe
"You are not one of them"
"They will never love you"
"You don't belong here"

If I was older, I could have loved you right
I could have love how you smiled through me
I could have loved how you whispered into me
I could have loved how you yelled over me
I could have love how you hated me
I could have love how you held me
I could have loved how you stared into me

I could have loved you right
But I was too young
and so were you
I never told you
If I was older, I would have told you how I learned to spelled "love"
I did it for you
I would have told you how I compared your eyes to fire
I would have told you how I compared your skin to diamond
I would have told you how I compared your thoughts to gold

I was too young
too young to know I was losing you
If I was older, I would have fought for you
If I was older, I would have told you I love you

I think of the imperfections and impurity of love a lot--when it goes wrong, it can take a perfectly good person and turn them into this thing that is neither good nor bad, but forever wondering the gray areas of life. There, nothing good ever happens; things are just better than bad.

My ears are deaf by the siren
a cold death took my skin
your perfect face changing the mood
your lips moving to your beat
a heart pound
a word escaping the vacuum
you are leaving
I am dying

a crack to the pillars of reality
Atlas, the great titan that holds heaven, gave
my world began to cave
another word to the hunt
sanity fled
the ending of an era
the turning of the tides
a last smile to say goodbye

like Pandora opening her treasured box
like a horror in midnight's eye
pain melted into armor
tears melted into dust
love melted into fire